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Rudy Park

Published 2016-07-24 (Image 145335)


I want you to work on something when you get home, minion. Im supposed to be able to rest once Ive gone home. Ive always wanted to have a trademark one-liner, like the heroes of all those old action movies. Like in Cobra. Sylvester Stallone was a rogue cop who told a criminal "Youre the disease, and Im the cure." Or like in Total Recall, when Arnold Schwarzeneggers wife turned out to be an evil killer. He eliminated her and then said "Consider that a divorce." Or like in They Live, when just before he killed a bunch of evil aliens, Rowdy Roddy Piper said "I have come here to chew bubble gum, and kick (butt) ... and Im all out of bubble gum." Your task tonight is to generate six one-liners I can use whenever I squeeze unpaid work out of my employees. Im supposed to be able to rest once Ive gone home. Youre the rest, and Im the bed. The kind with spikes on it. Thats awful. Fix that up and give me six more.

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