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Rudy Park

Published 2015-11-22 (Image 134803)


Good morning, Rudy. I suppose youre wondering why Ive summoned you. I like licorice. Its time for your annual performance review. In short, youve done very well this year. Thank you, boss. Youre friendly, punctual, and well-groomed. You follow direction acceptably, youve shown initiative, and you brew a fine cup of coffee. Those are the pluses. Theres only one negative, really. Only 1.3 percent of your social media posts and comments have been about me or the cafe, and of those only 94% have been positive. An overwhelming 6% have been neutral. The only thing keeping me from firing you is, 0% have been negative. Just thought of a negative. Im also not thrilled about that cute kitten you re-tweeted in February. Im more of a piranha man.

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