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Rudy Park

Published 2017-08-08 (Image 161298)

Have you heard that time is not a constant, Randy? Of course, little buddy Its called "time dilation." Time moves slower for objects in motion than it does for objects that sit still. Im a prime example. I havent aged a day in decades. I still have rippling muscles, a smooth pelt, glistening teeth, twinkling eyes, a raging libido, and the boundless confidence of youth ... all because Im always on the move. Im writing a study on it for the Journal of Temporal Hotness. Ive been meaning to ask if youd be the control group. Cant. Ill be too busy sitting here.

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