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Rudy Park

Published 2016-06-19 (Image 144040)

Give me whatever and make it fast. What? What do you mean? My wife gave me ten minutes of freedom for Fathers Day. And I burned through three of those just sprinting over here. We have four children and a fifth one any day now. Shes tired in bed so Im on 24/7 kid duty. I havent left the house, taken a shower, or gone potty by myself since 2015. My ear hairs are skinny secret babies that whisper to me at night that I may be going insane. So for Fathers Day, my loving wife granted me ten fleeting moments of me-time, which I choose to spend buying expensive coffee in a run-down cafe, like I used to do when I was young and single and had all the time in the world. Mom wants to know when youll be back. Tell the short person I cant hear it for another 5 minutes and 48 seconds! Sometimes Im glad I cant even get a date.

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