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Rudy Park

Published 2015-01-25 (Image 121151)


What does the world need most this time of year, minion? Make no sudden movements. It needs to not feel guilty about all the broken New Years resolutions. Im not following you. Ive created and artificial intelligence program that combs everything posted by or about you on social media ... and then decides your New Years resolution for you. For instance, yours is to ask out Mbege Anyango from Cameroon. The A.I. was determined shes your soul mate. Ive ... I mean the A.I. ... has taken the liberty of booking your flight and deducting all fares and fees from your checking. But I dont feel like going. The problem isnt making resolutions ... the problem is nobody keeps them. Your app doesnt solve that. It doesnt? Are you sure? What if I told you the A.I. also controls a used military drone I bought off eBay? Cameroon sounds lovely.

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