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Candorville

Published 2018-10-28 (Image 174529)


I hope we never terraform Mars. House of Java Café. Grand Opening. Why not, Randy? Because, if we gave Mars oxygen and air pressure, we wouldnt need space suits. If we gave Mars trees and oceans, it wouldnt be one big desert anymore. Theres just something sexy about driving a dune buggy across a desert planet with only half an inch of space helmet separating you from certain death. Also, if we give it a magnetic field, we wouldnt be bombarded by radiation. Ok ... Ill bite ... whats bad about not being bombarded by radiation? Isnt it obvious? When you look at me, little buddy, youre looking at the pinnacle of human evolution. But my line has taken us as far as possible. I come from a long line of Randies. Ive traced my lineage all the way back to a romantic primate named Randy Erectus. He was the first hominid to get up off his knuckles and stand up straight, and that as just in response to a beautiful sunset. Imagine what my genes would do in response to a huge dose of radiation? You really should have your own science show.

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