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Published 2016-03-13 (Image 139909)

It all started with my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandpappy, Ezekiel Goodhusband. Dr. Noodle. Ezekiel was the courtroom sketch artist at the Salem Witch Trials. He drew a particularly unflattering likeness of Hezekiah Usher II. Hezekiah was later acquitted. But as poor Ezekiel would soon learn, Hezekiah actually was a witch. Hezekiah cursed Ezekiel and all his descendants. On our thirtieth birthdays, we all turn invisible ... forced to live out our lives in obscurity ... our needs, our contributions, our dreams and our worth going totally unnoticed. Theres no upside here. Either I need anti-psychotics ... or youre lying naked on my couch. See? Were supposed to be talking about me!

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