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Candorville

Comics about woke .

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Result page:    2  Next  (24 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-25 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-25 Pub. Date: 2018-12-25
Image Number: 175585
Caption: My little boy was so happy when he woke up and saw all those gift-wrapped boxes with his name on them under the tree. Totally unrelated topic: Did you know that a lot of well-known concepts are lies? Like an apple a day keeps the doctor away. That's a lie ... and that thing about little kids not even caring if there's a toy ... and just being happy to play with empty boxes. That's a lie too. Dios mio, Lemont.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-02 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-02 Pub. Date: 2018-12-02
Image Number: 174985
Caption: Big L, you want me to be Santa again for your boy this year? Let me think about that, Clyde … Last year, I woke up to find my two-year-old boy shocking a pigeon with a taser gun. He said Santa gave him the taser, said Don't tell your daddy, and then forgot to shut the window when he climbed down the fire escape. I tried mouth-to-mouth but the pigeon was long gone. I only had to spend nine days in jail for animal cruelty, but my boy was in therapy for four months. Not my fault. I told him to only use it for fishing. No I don't want you to be Santa this year!!!
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-03 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-03 Pub. Date: 2018-01-03
Image Number: 166781
Caption: Behold, for I am come unto you, who will deliver my New Laws … Clyde. Clyde! Keep it down. Come no closer. Take off they shades, for the place where you lie is holy ground. You sure that ain't "lay," bruh? I … I do not think so. I am pretty sure it is "lie." Why don't you double-check that an' get back to me 'round noon. One "layeth" down a book. One "lieth" in the be ... this is not the point.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-20 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-20 Pub. Date: 2017-09-20
Image Number: 162850
Caption: All children go through a crisis when they first realize their parents aren't perfect. Tell me about it. Dr. Noodle. After Lionel calmed down, I convinced him I wasn't purposely trying to kill the neighbor by selling him a microwave that might cause cancer ... or at least I thought I did. That night, flashing lights and a siren woke me from a deep slumber. I looked out the window ad say the police and the coroner were at the neighbor's apartment. It's a good idea to hide the phone for the duration of the crisis. Scribble scrib - Lionel later told be he'd called anonymously, using the name "Daniel Tiger," so I wouldn't get locked up. He's so smart.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-14 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-14 Pub. Date: 2016-01-14
Image Number: 137666
Caption: I am come that you may have life and have it abundantly. Be not content to live in a basement studio apartment with cable TV jacked from your neighbor across the alley. You are capable of so much more, my child. Am I capable of gettin' some sleep, bruh? Well, excuse me for trying to grant you a divine revelation. Excused.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-13 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-13 Pub. Date: 2016-01-13
Image Number: 137665
Caption: Behold! I have a plan for you. What? Who that? I am the Lord they God. And I have a plan for you, my child. Well what is it? I was just about to get to that. Clyde, I command thee to go forth and spread … I ain't got all night. Hurry up. Never mind, bruh. I lost interest. That's ok, somehow I've lost my train of thought anyway.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-13 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-13 Pub. Date: 2015-09-13
Image Number: 131897
Caption: Whutsis? This is your wake-up call. Very few people are actually excited to see you. Most people could take you or leave you. Saywhat now? Even people who kind of like you don't really trust you. Wrong number … You're just lucky people are more tired of your enemies than they are of you. Most people never want to hear the words "Benghazi" or "email server" again in life. You have the wrong number!!!
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-30 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-30 Pub. Date: 2014-09-30
Image Number: 117057
Caption: Do you remember the first thing that happened today? I woke up. I suppose that the first thing that happened today. Like the day only starts when you wake up. Narcissist. Shhhh. I'm trying to end the day. Spare change? (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-05-30).
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-23 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-23 Pub. Date: 2014-07-23
Image Number: 114098
Caption: I had a dream last night. I dreamt that Israel's Prime Minister was Captain Kirk, of the starship Enterprise. And I dreamt Palestine's leader was also Captain Kirk, of a different Enterprise. Both ships were squaring off in orbit of Cestus III. The Metrons who lived on Cestus got annoyed and beamed both Kirks down to the planet to fight one-on-one. Who won? Not sure. There was lots of shirtlessness and karate chops, and then I woke up.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-29 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-29 Pub. Date: 2013-12-29
Image Number: 105216
Caption: When I woke up this morning, I felt like a sumo wrestler was holding my whole body down. I posted about it on Facebook, and 17 "friends" "liked" it. The whole experience is making me doubt humanity. No, I know, Susan … You brought me soup and medicine. When if think of "humanity," I don't mean to include you in that. What on earth do you mean by that, Lemont? I'm sick, I don't have to know what I mean by anything. Excuse me, I have something to go "like" on Facebook.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-20 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-20 Pub. Date: 2013-12-20
Image Number: 105214
Caption: Feudalbanc Massacard, this is Carol Ann, how may ah help yew, sugah? Oh, thank God, last time I was stuck talking to someone in Indonesia. Oh I know just what yew mean, like one tam, I was tryin' ta get ta Jacksonville an' I took the wrong plane. Fell asleep, an' when I woke up, wouldja believe I was lookin' at the Eiffel Tower? Well all I wanted in the whole world was to talk to a real live Amurican right about then. That brings to mind a funny story. Take about an hour ta tell it right. Could you transfer me to someone in Indonesia?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-22 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-22 Pub. Date: 2013-11-22
Image Number: 104086
Caption: Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! What is it?! Are you okay?! I fell athleep on my own! You promithed if I went to thleep on my own, you'd tell me another thtory when I woke up. You were supposed to sleep all night, not five minutes. You didn't thpethify that. (Originally published on 2012-04-13).
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-02-03 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-02-03 Pub. Date: 2013-02-03
Image Number: 92687
Caption: My iPhone woke me up with an alert this morning, Susan. It said my bank account was overdrawn. I just don’t get it. I'm pretty good with my money. So I went to the café, got my usual mocha, and sat down to try and figure out what's gone wrong. Did you know they sell bacon-wrapped hot dogs? ... Anyway, I went to the movies to clear my head. But the movie was awful. So I went home, turned on my TV, and tried to find something good on cable. There wasn't even anything good on HBO. So I tried Netflix and Hulu+. That's when it dawned on me. ... That you really need to make a budget? Yeah. So I bought a budgeting app. ... And a Star Trek app.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-10-25 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-10-25 Pub. Date: 2012-10-25
Image Number: 88838
Caption: GOD spoke to me last night, Big L. Seriously? Thug 4 Life. Woke me up at 3 A.M. an' said "Never underestimate the power of a clear conscience." So I told him "Yeah, I know 'bout that … Thug 4 Life. " … But I'm not a power-mad individual. Thug 4 Life.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-30 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-30 Pub. Date: 2012-05-30
Image Number: 81464
Caption: Do you remember the first thing that happened today? I woke up. I suppose that the first thing that happened today. Like the day only starts when you wake up. Narcissist. Shhhh. I'm trying to end the day. Spare change?
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-13 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-13 Pub. Date: 2012-04-13
Image Number: 79198
Caption: Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! What is it?! Are you okay?! I fell athleep on my own! You promithed if I went to thleep on my own, you'd tell me another thtory when I woke up. You were supposed to sleep all night, not five minutes. You didn't thpethify that.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-26 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-26 Pub. Date: 2011-02-26
Image Number: 57547
Caption: Facebook Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Hey, Lemont. I know you had a big day in court today, I just wanted to see how you're doing . Also, BTW, I had this weird dream last week, on Valentine's Day. Only when I woke up, I realized it was actually a MEMORY. I don't know if I should tell you ... It was Valentine's Day, 1995, around midnight. I was laying on your bed in the dorms just watching you write an article for the school paper. I recall being really happy and feeling rally honored that you let me do that. I had such a crush on you, Lemont. It was SO embarrassing. Lemont, I ... Lemont? Lemont? Are you there? MUST ... NOT ... HIT ... SEND ... It's "lying," not "laying," Sasha. SEND.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-10 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-10 Pub. Date: 2011-01-10
Image Number: 56137
Caption: Why? Because on January 3rd, I turned on CBS' "The Early Show" and the first thing I heard them say way … "Gandhi likely NEVER had a year like Lindsay Lohan's 2010!" Well, still, you can't skip a whole year. Wake me in 2012.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-06 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-06 Pub. Date: 2007-03-06
Image Number: 16303
Caption: So I woke up from a 26-year coma and learned my Republican Party had been replaced by a big-spending, war-mongering, bill-of-rights-shredding leviathan. I started drinking to dull the pain. But I couldn't stop. The bottle took control. When it came time to vote, I hit bottom. You blacked out? I voted Democrat.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-05 woke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-05 Pub. Date: 2007-03-05
Image Number: 16249
Caption: How's it going? Terrible. I was in a coma for 26 years. I woke up a couple years back to find my party in complete control of the government. I was thrilled. …But then I realized everything had changed. I couldn't recognize my own party. My dog was dead. My wife was now a man named Earl. Um... the usual answer is "fine." Naturally, I started boozing...
     
Result page:    2  Next  (24 images)