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Candorville

Comics about weddings.

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Result page:    2  Next  (35 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-17 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-17 Pub. Date: 2019-02-17
Image Number: 176076
Caption: Kelly Facebooked me the other day. She says she's getting married … Dr. Noodle … but that thoughts of me keep tugging at her heart. I replied I didn't know whether to be happy for her, and she wrote she didn't know either. So I wrote Don't marry him! Why do you care? I don't care. I'm way over her. I never even think about her anymore. I just think that, generally speaking, nobody should marry anyone if they're not sure it's going to make them happy. My concern is for all of Kellykind. Do you mean mankind? What did I say?
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-24 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-24 Pub. Date: 2018-09-24
Image Number: 174191
Caption: I wrote a very realistic screenplay that subverts all the usual Hollywood cliches. We don't see the protagonist in a moody bar when he feels down; we spend an hour watching him fall asleep all alone in front of his TV … and when he tries to stop a wedding, it takes him half an hour to find a good parking spot, and he misses the whole thing. We watch him circle the block for half an hour. Cliches are cliches for a reason.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-16 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-16 Pub. Date: 2018-03-16
Image Number: 169397
Caption: In 2002. I blogged about how the rush to war in Iraq was wrong. People replied why do you love Saddam? In 2013, I wrote that drone strikes were creating more terrorists because we keep oopsy-bombing weddings and such … People replied why do you love terrorists? The other day, I wrote that some toothpastes contain chemicals linked to cancer. Guess how people replied? I'd rather not.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-03 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-03 Pub. Date: 2017-06-03
Image Number: 158605
Caption: Heavenly father, should I preside over a gay wedding even if it means half my congregation will quit in protest? Should I lead my flock to the right side of history … Reverend of the Year 2000 … even if the sheep that put the most in the collection plate feel cozy on the wrong side? Give me a sign, heavenly father ... So you're saying I should ponder on this a few more years.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-08 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-08 Pub. Date: 2017-01-08
Image Number: 152421
Caption: Kelly facebooked me the other day. She says she's getting married … Dr. Noodle … but that thoughts of me keep tugging at her heart. I replied I didn't know whether to be happy for her, and she wrote she didn't know either. So I wrote "don't marry him!" Why do you care? I don't care. I'm way over her. I never even think about her anymore. I just think that, generally speaking, nobody should marry anyone if they're not sure it's going to make them happy. My concern is for all of Kellykind. Do you mean "mankind"? What did I say?
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-16 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-16 Pub. Date: 2016-10-16
Image Number: 149095
Caption: It's like he's not even the same man I married. Dr. Noodle. How so? He used to mow the lawn every week. Sometimes every day. Sometimes even three or four times a day. He used to come home from work, go straight into the shed, whip out that lawn mower and ride around on the grass for hours and hours and hours. It was a new lawn mower. I was excited about it. But now it doesn't run as well as it used to. Have you thought of getting pills? They make pills to keep Kentucky Bluegrass from getting overgrown? What? What? If it's so important to you, go get someone else to mow it.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-02 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-02 Pub. Date: 2016-09-02
Image Number: 147923
Caption: I wrote a very realistic screenplay that subverts all the usual Hollywood clichés. We don't see the protagonist in a moody bar when he feels down; we spend an hour watching him fall asleep all along in front of his tv … and when he tries to stop a wedding, it takes him half an hour to find a good parking spot, and he misses the whole thing. We watch him circle the block for a half an hour. Clichés are clichés for a reason.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-17 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-17 Pub. Date: 2015-04-17
Image Number: 125566
Caption: Heavenly Father, should I preside over a gay wedding even if it means half my congregation will quit in protest? Should I lead my flock to the right side of history … Reverend of the Year 2000 … Even if the sheep that put the most in the collection plate feel cozy on the wrong side? Give me a sign, Heavenly Father ... So you're saying I should ponder on this a few more years.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-20 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-20 Pub. Date: 2014-07-20
Image Number: 113319
Caption: It's like he's not even the same man I married. Dr. Noodle. How so? He used to mow the lawn every week. Sometimes every day. Sometimes three or four times a day. He used to come home from work, go straight into the shed, whip out that lawn mower and ride around on the grass for hours and hours and hours. It was a new lawn mower. I was excited about it. But now it doesn't run as well as it used to. Have you thought of getting pills. They make pills to keep Kentucky Bluegrass from getting overgrown? What? What? If it's so important to you, go get someone else to mow it.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-01 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-01 Pub. Date: 2013-03-01
Image Number: 93957
Caption: My computer Thelma died. I started my blog on Thelma ten years ago. We'd been through so much together. Disastrous wars … Hurricane Katrina … The Kardashian weddings … … That time I accidentally tweeted a picture of my junk … By "junk' I mean my Star Trek Voyager action figures. I had almost successfully repressed that.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-02-20 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-02-20 Pub. Date: 2013-02-20
Image Number: 93617
Caption: Hi, momma. How're you doing? How's everything? No momma, I'm not dying. … No momma, I'm not getting married. … No momma, I didn’t win the lottery. … That's right, momma. I'm calling for no particular reason, just to see how you're doing. Do Not Lean On Door. No, I'm not an imposter holding your son hostage - Momma, remember when you asked why I don't call that often? Do Not Lean On Door.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-12 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-12 Pub. Date: 2011-11-12
Image Number: 72739
Caption: Kim Kardashian still getting divorced? Don't ask me that. I don't want to waste one second of my life talking about useless reality tv celebrities. That was ten seconds. Shut up. "I don't know" woulda taken one second.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-01 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-01 Pub. Date: 2010-12-01
Image Number: 54752
Caption: The whole "Gay Marriage" thing isn't turning out as we'd said it would. Fear, Inc. It's been legal in a bunch of states for years now, and hasn't destroyed the institution of marriage or made people want to marry their pet turtles. … And it's given extra business to the whole wedding industry: printers, clothiers, caterers ... Don't forget divorce attorneys. "GAY MARRIAGE LEADS TO MORE DIVORCES!*" Oh, how I want to kiss whoever invented the asterisk (unless it was a dude).
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-29 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-29 Pub. Date: 2010-01-29
Image Number: 43365
Caption: Roxanne? How'd you get in here? It's way past visiting hours. I just want you to know Daddy took care of your health care bills as a wedding gift. After we're married, Daddy'll teach you the family business, we'll get you a normal haircut, and we'll move to a big house Daddy bought us in posh hills. Oh, Lem-Lem, I'M SO EXCITED!!! Is this a bad time to tell you I've leaving you and suing for custody of Lionel?
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-27 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-27 Pub. Date: 2010-01-27
Image Number: 43363
Caption: Sunnyville Sanitarium. As long as he keeps taking his antipsychotic drugs, he'll have no more delusions about vampires, demons and Mexico. Unfortunately, one side effect is massive weight gain. Oh no! Lem-lem's already fat enough! As it is, I don't know how I'll ever squeeze his blubber into the wedding tux Daddy bought him! I can hear you, you know. Many people have abnormally large buttocks.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-12 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-12 Pub. Date: 2009-02-12
Image Number: 29988
Caption: You can't marry Roxanne. What? Why not? Look, bruh, I know everything about the Dubois Family. I grew up in their house. My dad was their servant. I've seen all the skeletons in their closet. …You mean that figuratively, right? I know where the bodies are buried.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-11 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-11 Pub. Date: 2009-02-11
Image Number: 29987
Caption: Here bruh, have a beer. I don't drink. Suit y'self. Look, I guess you know I brought you here to talk about Roxanne… …And how, for the sake of your son, you're marrying her even though she crushes your soul and drains the life out of you. I thought you didn't drink. So did I.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-26 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-26 Pub. Date: 2008-08-26
Image Number: 26238
Caption: This is wrong, Big L. You can't hide in the bushes like this outside yo' woman's house to catch her cheatin'. Dear God, Clyde. You're right. What was I thinking? She's the mother of my child. We're getting married. I should trust her. I should have faith in her. I was gon' say you should call the Maury Show get this @#$% on tape. Good talk, Clyde.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-25 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-25 Pub. Date: 2008-06-25
Image Number: 24479
Caption: You dingbat! Where's my dinner?! I'm leavin' you, Arch. WHAT?! Nobody was buyin' my "Obama's wife called people 'Whitey'" product, so the boss fired me! It ain't my fault, Edith! The Archie I married woulda walked into that factory and said, "You can't fire me, I been manufacturing fear since before you was born!" Edith, my stomach is growlin' here. Goodbye... stranger.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-19 wedding 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-19 Pub. Date: 2008-06-19
Image Number: 24238
Caption: What're you doing? Writing my last will and testament. An escaped Al-Qaida terrorist is hunting me, and I'll probably be dead by tomorrow. You're trying to fake your own death to get out of the wedding? What? Father warned me you'd pull this. What?
     
Result page:    2  Next  (35 images)