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Candorville

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-25 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-25 Pub. Date: 2019-08-25
Image Number: 179092
Caption: How was your day, Lemont? Horrible. I gave a speech to a high school assembly about the importance of journalism. Halfway through, I realized almost nobody was paying attention. They were all staring at their laps. Turns out most of them were on their phones. Square drones, yeah ... weird/ Seriously? Were you on your phone just now? Of course not. I don't know what you mean by Were you on your phone just now. How about a web search for it?
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-11 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-11 Pub. Date: 2019-08-11
Image Number: 178906
Caption: I'll have a gentle flower chamomile tea. How so I know you're you? Today's special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. Pardon? The real Uncle Mort always orders espresso. But a month ago, just for laughs, I took a picture of him with Faceapp, that app that show what you'll look like decades older. Then we discovered the app's fine print says you're granting the Russians who made it permission to use your photos for any reason. How do I know you're not a Russian spy surgically altered to look like Uncle Mort? (Words indicating Russian language). I mean, Don't be paranoid. Yeah ... Yeah I guess you're right.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-15 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-15 Pub. Date: 2018-07-15
Image Number: 172919
Caption: Hey, Rudy. How's it going? I'm not allowed to say. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. What? I failed to read the fine print. The boss pointed out to me that the contract I signed back in 2001 forbids me from chatting with the customers about non-coffee-or-food-related issues. Sub-addendum H specifically said that every time I'm caught talking about how it's going I have to pay the boss $5. So ... in other words you just told me how it's going. Loophole! That'll be $5.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-30 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-30 Pub. Date: 2018-06-30
Image Number: 172492
Caption: Lemont interviews Apple CEO Tim Cook. Is it true Mr. Trump told you the iPhone would be exempt from any of his China tariffs? Ok, I found this on the Web for China Terrace. That's not what I'm asking you. Here is what I've found on Ascot the mime cannibal. Wait ... did you just transfer me to Siri? Let's talk about you and not me.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-28 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-28 Pub. Date: 2017-09-28
Image Number: 163100
Caption: … So anyway, I had to fire an art director, a copywriter, a designer, a production artist and our web designer because of that donkey incident. That's too bad. But you did the right thing … you made the tough decision … "Always do what's best for the donkey," that's my motto. You know, I can tell when you haven't really been listening. What? I was totally listening! Then tell me what happened with the donkey. It's too atrocious for words. Nice try.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-29 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-29 Pub. Date: 2015-11-29
Image Number: 135319
Caption: Wells Fraggo fraud department, Ryan speaking. How may I hinder you? I just checked my bank account, and it's overdrawn because of several $99.95 charges at zoosk.com. I want to know how this happened, Ryan. … Ok, I just did a Google search. That appears to be an online dating site. ... Also, it seems a lot of other people have complained about this same thing happening to them. It probably happened because someone is stealing ATM card numbers and using them to sign up for accounts. Calling ... Wells Fraggo Fraud Dept. (favorited). No, I mean how come you didn't think there was anything fishy about fifteen $99.95 charges from the same dating site?! Why on earth did you let those payments go through?! We figured you were just really, really desperate.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-11 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-11 Pub. Date: 2015-07-11
Image Number: 129286
Caption: I can't believe your son's almost three, and I've still never met him. When I won custody, my ex agreed not to appeal the decision as long as Lionel's never in your presence. Roxanne doesn't want Lionel to know there are women out there who're much nicer than she it. Yeah, well it's awful that she singled me out. She didn't. Legally, I'm only allowed to date ladies I meet on stuckupharpy.com.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-23 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-23 Pub. Date: 2015-01-23
Image Number: 121835
Caption: Lemont accidentally gets through to FedHex customer service. According to tracking info, you guys are sending my delivery to the wrong place. This isn't supposed to happen, sir. How did you get our phone number? I found it on a cached web page from six years ago. Anyhow, you're sending it to Brown, MI. "Brown" is my last name, not my city. We'll take care of it: We'll take that cached web page down right away. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-01-05).
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-29 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-29 Pub. Date: 2014-11-29
Image Number: 119349
Caption: I didn’t realize there was so much awful stuff on TV until I had a kid. Uh oh, here they go … People love they sex an' violence on TV until they have a kid … then all of a sudden they think it's TV's job to raise they kids for 'em. NYPD Blue used to show butt-nekkit people on TV at PRIME TIME. But people like you ruined that. Yeah, now you only have 500 other places to see that sort of thing. You been peekin' at my bookmarks? What? What?
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-14 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-14 Pub. Date: 2014-10-14
Image Number: 117630
Caption: My blog gets 75,000 unique visitors every day, Clyde. But nobody's clicking on the ads, so all that traffic is actually costing me money. Well, have you thought of tracking down the readers an' threatening them? Good talk, Clyde. Plus it's a good way to get to know your readers. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-05-22).
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-08 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-08 Pub. Date: 2014-09-08
Image Number: 116183
Caption: You ask me, all them stars that got they nekkit pictures hacked did it on purpose. Exhibit A: When's the last time MILLIONS of bruthas was frantically Googling any of these people? Exhibit B: Ain't none of them pictures all that scandalous noway. CLYDE! You didn't try to see any of that, did you? (A) I would never, and (B) it all got deleted too fast.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-20 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-20 Pub. Date: 2014-04-20
Image Number: 109691
Caption: I don’t know, man, there's just something people forget about the internet. What? Nobody's as anonymous as they think they are. And When they insult total strangers … When they call them "naïve morons" just 'cause they disagree … … When they tell other human beings they're wastes of space on this Earth ... When they say things like "I'd call you an uneducated baboon, but baboons smell better ... " ... They forget that before the so-called anonymity of the web, saying such things to other human beings usually led to consequences. How'd you get my number? That's not important right now, Gunther.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-07-21 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-21 Pub. Date: 2013-07-21
Image Number: 99044
Caption: Dear journalist … I read your expose about how the National Security Agency is monitoring everything we say and do. In order to read it, I had to approve the "terms of service" for my Web browser, which included letting them store my browsing history, bookmarks and passwords. After I was done detailing the events of my day on Facebook, I posted a link to your article. I was hoping one of the 2541 strangers who friended me could explain it to me. The train has left the station. I mean, what is this "privacy? of which you speak?
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-11 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-11 Pub. Date: 2013-04-11
Image Number: 95575
Caption: Lemont talks to his cable provider. You're right, satellite would end up being just as expensive. Glad you realized that! Doesn't mean I'm coming back to you. I've been thinking ... Almost everything I watch is online. Maybe I'll just get a Roku box and stream on Netflix and Hulu for $20/month. It's really over, isn't it. You'll find another man who won't mind paying $120 for the Sewing Channel. (Originally published on 2011-09-01).
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-01-05 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-01-05 Pub. Date: 2013-01-05
Image Number: 91703
Caption: Lemont accidentally gets through to Fedhex customer service. According to tracking info, you guys are sending my delivery to the wrong place. This isn't supposed to happen, sir. How did you get our phone number? I found it on a cached web page from six years ago. Anyhow, you're sending it to Brown, MI. "Brown" is my last name, not my city. We'll take care of it; We'll take that cached web page down right away.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-18 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-18 Pub. Date: 2012-04-18
Image Number: 79549
Caption: Did you read my new article about how Facebook's news stream is teaching us to ignore what our friends say? I saw the link to it on Facebook this morning. I liked it. You read it? Um … I "liked" it. @*$% Facebook culture. I'm almost sure I'll read it later.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-31 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-31 Pub. Date: 2011-10-31
Image Number: 72408
Caption: What do you mean "won what?" I won custody of Lionel! I blogged about it last Saturday. Oh. That's ok, I'm not surprised you didn't read it. Saturday is the least-read day of the week, according to my blog's stats. So I'm not offended, or anything. You have a blog?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-28 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-28 Pub. Date: 2011-09-28
Image Number: 65951
Caption: How could you make a YouTube video celebrating EBT food stamp cards? Do you have any idea how this feeds into the stereotype of black people being lazy welfare queens? Most people on welfare, an' most people usin' EBT cards, is white, Big L. But everyone in your video was black! Turns out EBT don't pay for white-face paint.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-27 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-27 Pub. Date: 2011-09-27
Image Number: 65950
Caption: You did what? I co-produced that "My EBT" video on YouTube with my boy Stanley Lafleur. The video where some fool's dancing around and rapping about his food stamp card?! THAT WAS YOU? ARE SERIOU.. Wait ... I'm not actually surprised. Thanks.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-26 web 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-26 Pub. Date: 2011-09-26
Image Number: 65949
Caption: You seed that "My EBT" video on YouTube, Big L? "Seen." Oh, so I ain't gotta tell you 'bout it, then. What? What?
     
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