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Candorville

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41. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-14 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-14 Pub. Date: 2015-12-14
Image Number: 136530
Caption: What Donald Trump up to now, Dawg? That fool crazy. I don't know what Donald Trump's up to, Clyde. I refuse to keep paying him any attention. I don't slow down to watch accidents on the freeway, I don't watch reality shows, and I don't think about Trump. I'm above all that. If he said at 10:04 this morning he'd wanna ban all Muslim immigrants, I bet you'd know about it by 10:05. He already ... um ... never mind.
     
42. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-06 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-06 Pub. Date: 2015-12-06
Image Number: 135628
Caption: How come you never come to my book signings? I ain't have all that free time, Big L. C-Dog busy. Gotta keep it hustlin'. You know how I do. How you do what? What do you mean, "How you do what?" "How I do … " "How we do … " It's an expression, bruh. No it's not. It's just an incomplete sentence. What you're "expressing" is that you can't finish a sentence. I feel like expressions used to be clever. Since when has not finishing a sentence been clever? And you wanna know why I ain't go to your book signings. What a lazy country we've become.
     
43. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-17 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-17 Pub. Date: 2015-11-17
Image Number: 135314
Caption: I know what you 'bout to say, bruh, an' I ain't wanna hear none of that. How could you possibly know what I'm about to say, Clyde? I known you since we was 6 months old, Big L. We done had every conversation we could possibly have. You gonna talk about science fiction. I could tell by the way you almost bouncin' on your toes, all giddy. I always know what you gonna say by the degree of geekiness in your stance. Old friends are the worst. It's a disgusting display, bruh.
     
44. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-09 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-09 Pub. Date: 2015-11-09
Image Number: 135006
Caption: What's your IQ, Clyde? Why you wanna know, Big L? If I say my IQ 108, you gonna think what I have to say ain't worth spit? An' if I say my IQ be 152 … what then, you gonna suddenly imbue erethang I say wit' fifteen layers of meaning, an' question what you always thought was our dynamic? I think I'd like to go with the 108. Good call, Big L.
     
45. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-24 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-24 Pub. Date: 2015-10-24
Image Number: 133803
Caption: I can't remember how to divide, Clyde. Say what? Long division. I don't remember how to do it. I got an "A" in calculus back in high school. I got a "4" on the AP test. But let 20 years go by, and all of a sudden I have no idea how to even begin to divide 4,852.8 by 297.492. It take most people more than 20 years to forget how to use a calculator, bruh. You might wanna get y'self checked out.
     
46. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-16 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-16 Pub. Date: 2015-10-16
Image Number: 133796
Caption: Wanna come over and watch C-Span with Lionel and me? No, I … wait. Wait a second … You and your two-year-old son watch C-Span together? You mean PBS, right? "Sesame Street"? No, I mean C-Span. The channel that shows Congress in action. Why? Just … Why? Because he's too young to watch "The Walking Dead." I can't make it. I'll be busy forgetting this conversation.
     
47. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-31 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-31 Pub. Date: 2015-08-31
Image Number: 131898
Caption: Wanna take an Uber to the movies? Great idea, Susan. I've always wanted to put cab drivers out of business. Maybe we can stay at an Airbnb afterward, so we can also put motels and hotels out of business … along with all their maids, janitors, clerks, bellhops, parking attendants and receptionists. It's just a ride to the movies. It's a ride to massive unemployment.
     
48. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-28 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-28 Pub. Date: 2015-08-28
Image Number: 131717
Caption: Before I forget, yo' momma want you to write her more often. An' before I forget, Double-Cross raisin' your insurance premiums by $100. An' before I forget, Feudalbanc Massacard fraud prevention wanna know if you really bought six tubes of Preparation H. And before I forget, I need to change my passwords more often. I don't even wanna know why you need six tubes.
     
49. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-24 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-24 Pub. Date: 2015-08-24
Image Number: 131713
Caption: I can't get to sleep, Clyde. Say what, Big L? When we were kids and you slept over, we'd talk about aliens and stuff all night if we couldn't get to sleep. Yeh, but uh … when you grown and you can't sleep, you call a woman, not no 'nother dude. That's kinda ... you know ... You think aliens are ever homophobic? Last thing I wanna hear when I'm in bed is a deep voice.
     
50. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-18 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-18 Pub. Date: 2015-08-18
Image Number: 131275
Caption: I don't see why you wanna buy a house, Big L. Because that's how families build wealth. I want to own something I could leave to my son that'll change his life. Yeh, but then you gotta sleep with one eye open for the rest of your life. I have more faith in my son than that, Clyde. Make sure you write a living will, is all I'm sayin'.
     
51. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-09 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-09 Pub. Date: 2015-08-09
Image Number: 130320
Caption: Little Tyrant Pizza … Can I take your order? Yeh. Gimme one of them Big Mac combos. Are you serious? We don't sell Big Macs, sir. We're a pizza parlor. When you deliver them pizzas, you be drivin', right? … Yeah. So on your way back from deliverin' your next pizza, go on through that McDonald's drive-through an' pick me up a number one, with no onions. I can't do that, sir. What, you ain't wanna earn some extra bills on the side? What wrong with you? Well ... Ok, I guess I can. While you at it, I got some draw's in the laundromat should be finished right 'bout now.
     
52. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-06 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-06 Pub. Date: 2015-08-06
Image Number: 130586
Caption: Whachoo wanna watch, Big L? Anything but Sesame Street. My don't crazy about it. Sometimes he says "watch Elmo" over and over again for hours until I finally give in and turn it on. If I hear "La la la la la … La la la la … Elmo's world" one more time, I just might throw the tv into the East River. Parent be trippin'. Elmo should be considered a class 2 drug.
     
53. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-05 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-05 Pub. Date: 2015-07-05
Image Number: 128670
Caption: But if you just watch. I ain't wanna talk about this, Big L. But why can't we talk about it? 'Cause there only so many words we get to hear an' say before we die. The average person say 370,110,001 words in his lifetime, bruh. Way I see it, I ain't got but 180,000,000 left. I ain't gonna waste nary a one of them on that corny @*$%. Besides, Star Track Next Generation been off the air 20 years now, bruh. I'm just saying, once you notice Worf doesn't have any ears, you can't ever unnotice it.
     
54. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-02 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-02 Pub. Date: 2015-06-02
Image Number: 127776
Caption: I've gotta do something about my son. He won't go to sleep till about 4 A.M. It's driving me crazy. "The Dude Abuses." You want me to take care of this? There are ways, bruh. You don’t even wanna know about it. I can have that little dude sleepin' by 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I think I'll just let him grow out of it. I'll abduct his teddy bear, you write the note. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-05-21).
     
55. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-21 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-21 Pub. Date: 2015-05-21
Image Number: 127174
Caption: Erethang come an' go, Big L. Ain't nothin' forever. Good looks come an' go. Youth come an' go. Money come an' go. In the end, we all - every last one of us - be left with none of that. I'll say it again. Do you have my wallet, Clyde? All y'all wanna do is fight the inevitable.
     
56. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-08 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-08 Pub. Date: 2015-05-08
Image Number: 126509
Caption: Astronomers found what might be a livable planet just 12 light-years away. Don't you know what this means? It don't mean nothing to you an' me. We can't even get 12 blocks 'cause this bus never show, an' you wanna go 12,000 miles. 12 light-years is not 12,000 miles. Oh, ok. So when you going? Next Tuesday? (This cartoon was originally published on 2013/04/19).
     
57. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-14 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-14 Pub. Date: 2015-04-14
Image Number: 125563
Caption: Did you see how slow Walter Scott ran when he ran from that cop, Big L? Looked like when you try an' run in a swimming pool. That how slow the brotha was movin'. If I'm ever scared enough of a cop to wanna run from him, I hope I remember that even SLOWLY running away gon' give him an excuse to say he "feared for his life." Cartwheels, dawg. They ain't never shot no brotha who cartwheeled away. Better Google that to be sure.
     
58. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-10 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-10 Pub. Date: 2015-04-10
Image Number: 125202
Caption: Big L, your checkin' account be overdrawn. Really? Thanks for … wait, how do you know I'm overdrawn? You might wanna warn a brotha next time. That !@#$ was embarrassin'. I had to put back all my groceries. I knew a decoy account was a good idea.
     
59. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-15 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-15 Pub. Date: 2015-03-15
Image Number: 123843
Caption: Giuliani was right. Obama doesn't love America. When you love something, you love it warts and moles and all. You have a mole. In fact, when you love something, you don't even point out its warts and moles. I noticed it years ago, but I don't remember it being that big. Pointing out warts and moles only hurts your loved one's feelings. Dude ... You might wanna get that thing checked. Daily Nutjob. Obama wet bed as child, covered it up. Also confesses to having red "Little Red Riding Hood." You hate me, just like Obama hates America. Do you even OWN a mirror? Has aversion to pepper spray. Why?
     
60. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-08 wanna 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-08 Pub. Date: 2014-12-08
Image Number: 119933
Caption: So … So? Now? No, I think I still don't wanna talk about this whole Bill Cosby thing. Me neither. Run!
     
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