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Candorville

Comics about wake ups.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-06 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-06 Pub. Date: 2019-11-06
Image Number: 180253
Caption: All children go through a crisis when they first realize their parents aren't perfect. Tell me about it. Dr. Noodle. After Lionel calmed down, I convinced him I wasn't purposely trying to kill the neighbor by selling him a microwave that might cause cancer ... or at least I thought I did. That night, flashing lights and a siren woke me from a deep slumber. I looked out the window and saw the police and the coroner were at the neighbor's apartment. It's a good idea to hide the phone for the duration of the crisis. Scribble scrib- Lionel later told me he'd called anonymously, using the name Daniel Tiger, so I wouldn't get locked up. He's so smart.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-02 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-02 Pub. Date: 2019-08-02
Image Number: 178785
Caption: Let me ask you a man-to-man question, Randy, asterisk. Shoot. Let's say you wake up, you look in the mirror, and you notice your first gray hair. Would it be manlier to immediately pluck it out and pretend it never happened, or would it be manlier to tell yourself it's actually blond? Armstrong, avoiding the truth is never manl ... wait ... asterisk? (Asterisk) By answering my question you enter into a binding nondisclosure agreement.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-25 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-25 Pub. Date: 2018-12-25
Image Number: 175585
Caption: My little boy was so happy when he woke up and saw all those gift-wrapped boxes with his name on them under the tree. Totally unrelated topic: Did you know that a lot of well-known concepts are lies? Like an apple a day keeps the doctor away. That's a lie ... and that thing about little kids not even caring if there's a toy ... and just being happy to play with empty boxes. That's a lie too. Dios mio, Lemont.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-02 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-02 Pub. Date: 2018-12-02
Image Number: 174985
Caption: Big L, you want me to be Santa again for your boy this year? Let me think about that, Clyde … Last year, I woke up to find my two-year-old boy shocking a pigeon with a taser gun. He said Santa gave him the taser, said Don't tell your daddy, and then forgot to shut the window when he climbed down the fire escape. I tried mouth-to-mouth but the pigeon was long gone. I only had to spend nine days in jail for animal cruelty, but my boy was in therapy for four months. Not my fault. I told him to only use it for fishing. No I don't want you to be Santa this year!!!
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-15 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-15 Pub. Date: 2018-01-15
Image Number: 167355
Caption: Let's take a moment for a brief interlude, between what was, and what will be. All the days in all the years we've been partnered have been the same, Tyrone. Wake up. Scrounge. Reflect on our dire circumstance but do nothing to change it. And then drift back to sleep. But it occurred to me today, in every story I've ever read, there's been an interlude between the status quo and the big change. I feel interludy. Do you feel interludy? Not even a little bit. (This cartoon was originally published on 2015-12-28).
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-03 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-03 Pub. Date: 2018-01-03
Image Number: 166781
Caption: Behold, for I am come unto you, who will deliver my New Laws … Clyde. Clyde! Keep it down. Come no closer. Take off they shades, for the place where you lie is holy ground. You sure that ain't "lay," bruh? I … I do not think so. I am pretty sure it is "lie." Why don't you double-check that an' get back to me 'round noon. One "layeth" down a book. One "lieth" in the be ... this is not the point.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-23 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-23 Pub. Date: 2017-10-23
Image Number: 164147
Caption: I read your blog post about that dad who didn't make his kid apologize for bullying your kid. I never understood the point of makin' a kid say words he don't mean. How that gonna help the situation? What you need to do is hire a bigger kid to pull that bully's drawers up over his head. Revenge is never the answer, Clyde. If he wake up an' find his teddy bear's head on the pillow next to him, he'd get the message.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-20 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-20 Pub. Date: 2017-09-20
Image Number: 162850
Caption: All children go through a crisis when they first realize their parents aren't perfect. Tell me about it. Dr. Noodle. After Lionel calmed down, I convinced him I wasn't purposely trying to kill the neighbor by selling him a microwave that might cause cancer ... or at least I thought I did. That night, flashing lights and a siren woke me from a deep slumber. I looked out the window ad say the police and the coroner were at the neighbor's apartment. It's a good idea to hide the phone for the duration of the crisis. Scribble scrib - Lionel later told be he'd called anonymously, using the name "Daniel Tiger," so I wouldn't get locked up. He's so smart.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-25 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-25 Pub. Date: 2016-08-25
Image Number: 147665
Caption: C-Dog don't never dream 'cause dreamin' just make real life worse, Big L. Let's say I dream I can stand on a corner or walk across the street without some cop bothering me. Then when I wake up, no matter where I go, there some cop lookin' out his car window at me, just waiting for a reason to "put me in my place." If I don't dream things can be better, then I ain't never disappointed. I know what you mean. Last night I dreamt you weren't depressing.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-20 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-20 Pub. Date: 2016-07-20
Image Number: 146141
Caption: It's night-night time, buddy. But I don't wanna go night-night. I do want to thtay awake. It'th wake-up time. I'll tell you what: You can either go to sleep and have magical dreams, or you can stay up and watch the boring Republican convention with daddy. Yaaayy! Ang-wy man! Ang-wy man! Ang-wy man! No, son, "angry-man" doesn't speak till the last night of the show.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-03 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-03 Pub. Date: 2016-07-03
Image Number: 144620
Caption: Whutsis? This is your wake-up call. I know you dreamt of this era ever since you were six, but, let's face it: You're tired of superhero movies. Saywhat now? Your inner child was thrilled, but now he's bored. It's like Disneyland. Asdghmplp. Yes. Remember when you were six ... remember how excited you were at Disneyland at 8am, but howl by 10pm the sight of someone in a Mickey Mouse costume made you feel homicidal? Admit it: If you see one more person in a colorful muscly costume running and jumping, your popcorn is going to taste like misery and tears. Never!!! I'll never tire of zzzzzzzz.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-21 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-21 Pub. Date: 2016-06-21
Image Number: 144898
Caption: My son slept all night long, Clyde. First time ever. Usually I can't get any uninterrupted sleep because he's always getting up. But last night, he didn't even make a sound … So I ended up staying up all night to make sure he wasn't dead.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-20 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-20 Pub. Date: 2016-03-20
Image Number: 140250
Caption: President Trump's State of the Union Address: My fellow Americans, the state of the union is unbelievable. It's yuge! They said it would be small, it's yuge, believe me. One guy down here isn't applauding, and the cameras probably showed him. They didn't show the tons of people who clapped, they probably showed this one incompetent loser down here. Anyway ... They keep talking about this $500 billion deficit with China. They're winning and crying, boo-hoo, boo-hoo, like a bunch of weak little babies. Well this deficit is going away. You wanna know why? Because it's not gonna happen. We'll talk about that later. But first, we have to talk about this lightweight senator in the third row. Look at him. He's a nervous basket case. He looks like a weak little clown. And we're about to knock out ISIS, you know how? Like Truman. Patton. I'm going to pick up the phone, and forget about it, they're gone. Hey, loser, wake up. You're supposed to clap for that. What a clown. Click.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-14 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-14 Pub. Date: 2016-01-14
Image Number: 137666
Caption: I am come that you may have life and have it abundantly. Be not content to live in a basement studio apartment with cable TV jacked from your neighbor across the alley. You are capable of so much more, my child. Am I capable of gettin' some sleep, bruh? Well, excuse me for trying to grant you a divine revelation. Excused.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-13 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-13 Pub. Date: 2016-01-13
Image Number: 137665
Caption: Behold! I have a plan for you. What? Who that? I am the Lord they God. And I have a plan for you, my child. Well what is it? I was just about to get to that. Clyde, I command thee to go forth and spread … I ain't got all night. Hurry up. Never mind, bruh. I lost interest. That's ok, somehow I've lost my train of thought anyway.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-28 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-28 Pub. Date: 2015-12-28
Image Number: 137113
Caption: Let's take a moment for a brief interlude, between what was, and what will be. All the days in all the years we've been partnered have been the same, Tyrone. Wake up. Scrounge. Reflect on our dire circumstance but do nothing to change it. And then drift back to sleep. But it occurred to me today, in every story I've ever read, there's been an interlude between the status quo and the big change. I feel interludy. Do you feel interludy? Not even a little bit.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-13 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-13 Pub. Date: 2015-09-13
Image Number: 131897
Caption: Whutsis? This is your wake-up call. Very few people are actually excited to see you. Most people could take you or leave you. Saywhat now? Even people who kind of like you don't really trust you. Wrong number … You're just lucky people are more tired of your enemies than they are of you. Most people never want to hear the words "Benghazi" or "email server" again in life. You have the wrong number!!!
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-22 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-22 Pub. Date: 2015-07-22
Image Number: 129958
Caption: I still have that awful cough, Susan. Six weeks of gagging and hacking. I haven't heard you cough. That's because it mainly happens at night and when I first wake up. If you want to hear me really hack up a lung, you'll have to sleep with me. How could a girl say no to a line like that? That didn't come out how I meant it to. I hope you feel better soon, Lemont.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-22 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-22 Pub. Date: 2015-06-22
Image Number: 128671
Caption: I read your blog post about that dad who didn't make his kid apologize for bullying your kid. I never understood the point of makin' a kid say words he don't mean. How that gonna help the situation? What you need to do is hire a bigger kid to pull that bully's drawers up over his head. Revenge is never the answer, Clyde. If he wake up an' find his teddy bear's head on the pillow next to him, he'd get the message.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-07 wake up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-07 Pub. Date: 2015-06-07
Image Number: 127506
Caption: Who is it? This is a wake-up call for Lemont Brown. I donm mumble. You've got to stop picking your nose while you drive. Pardonm I domble … Your windshield is not a magical force field that keeps people from seeing you. In fact, it frames you. It's like a big TV screen. Mbtv. It turns you into a tv show. "The look at me, I'm knuckle-deep in my nose show," starring you. Zzzzz. You should sell advertising in between picks.
     
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