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Candorville

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Result page:     (17 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-14 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-14 Pub. Date: 2016-02-14
Image Number: 138656
Caption: I put spyware on my son's computer. Last night, I saw what he's been looking at. Now I feel so guilty. He was watching dozens of Youtube videos detailing the theory that Jar Jar Binks was actually the most powerful evil Jedi in all of "Star Wars." I watched them all. They showed clips from the prequels where Jar Jar was clearly using the Jedi mind trick to manipulate everyone around him. Isaac Asimov was a huge "Star Wars" inspiration. These videos pointed out how Binks is eerily similar to a deceptively buffoonish character named "The Mule" in Asimov's "Foundation" series. It's undeniable. Jar Jar was the real "Phantom Menace," and Lucas must've abandoned that whole idea when we all jumped down his throat about the character. So ... you feel guilty for spying on your child since he wasn't doing anything wrong? I feel guilty for giving George Lucas such a hard time about Phantom Menace. The man was a genius.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-17 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-17 Pub. Date: 2015-01-17
Image Number: 121389
Caption: ... So then I told the cry-baby "stop all this continual begging and pleading, and take this like a man." Pardon me, I couldn't help overhearing. "Continual" means it happens regularly with obvious lapses in time. If you meant the begging was nonstop, the proper word is "continuous." What if the pleading only happened whenever there was a pause in the sobbing? Oh. Well then, you were right.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-02-25 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-02-25 Pub. Date: 2013-02-25
Image Number: 93953
Caption: Can I borrow your computer when you done, Big L? Thug 4 Life. An' can you not ask why? Don’t worry, ain't nothing bad. You can trust me. How'd you get in here, Clyde? That's not important right now.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-01-12 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-01-12 Pub. Date: 2013-01-12
Image Number: 91988
Caption: Say what? I bought Lionel his first iPad. But since he's only two, he's not allowed to use it on his own. I read him stories on it once a day for about an hour. The rest of the day, I keep it with me to make sure he doesn't get online or anything. In other words, you bought yourself an iPad. I'd never spend that much money on myself.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-12-07 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-12-07 Pub. Date: 2012-12-07
Image Number: 90581
Caption: … So I said sure, we got away with it this time, bit going forward … Pardon me, I couldn’t help overhearing. It's not necessary to say "going forward." I mean, where else are you gonna go? It's not like you can go into the past. FROM NOW ON, you better watch your back. No, that's just as bad.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-05 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-05 Pub. Date: 2011-12-05
Image Number: 31623
Caption: I'm not sure why you need to talk with me about your promotion. You're my top man, Garcia. You've been handling promotions on your own for years. You handled Pepsi, and Dr. Sasquatch's Depilatory for Extremely Hairy Chicks. No ... Sir ... By "promotion," I mean I want to take on more responsibility for more money and a better title. Oh, I see! I'm not familiar with that usage of the term. (Published originally on 2009-04-13)
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-27 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-27 Pub. Date: 2010-11-27
Image Number: 54484
Caption: So I told him "I'm thinking you'd better put that thing away." Pardon me … I couldn't help but overhear. Why bother starting a sentence with "I'm thinking …"? Of course you're thinking it, or you wouldn't be saying it. Your brain commands everything you do from breathing, to moving, to talking. How about thumping jerks on the head? Of course.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-06 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-06 Pub. Date: 2010-03-06
Image Number: 44615
Caption: I don't see him. I think it's safe. Go ahead then. Ok. Oh, by the way, your girlfriend and I have been … Pardon me … Does anyone really know what "by the way" means? By WHAT way? It makes sense if your digression is related to the topic at hand, but it often isn't. and ... By the way, I'm allergic to penicillin. See, that usage is appropriate. Huh?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-27 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-27 Pub. Date: 2009-06-27
Image Number: 35439
Caption: … And girl, believe me when I say that man was new and improved. Pardon me … Something can't be both "new" AND "improved." You can only "improve" something that's already there. Which means it can't be "new." Where's my new taser? As long as it wasn't refurbished, that works.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-04-26 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-04-26 Pub. Date: 2009-04-26
Image Number: 31773
Caption: 1982. Why you talk so white? You think you better than me? It's ok, baby. Don't pay those kids any mind. You have the right - the obligation - to be true to yourself. You don't have to be like everyone else. It doesn't matter how you say, it only matters what you say. Always remember, baby: If you're educated, talk like you're educated. "Speak" like you're educated, not "talk" like you're educated, momma. Don't you get smart with me.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-31 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-31 Pub. Date: 2009-01-31
Image Number: 29705
Caption: …And let me tell you, that was the biggest one I'd ever seen. Pardon me… There was no reason to say "let me tell you." That only makes sense if someone's trying to stop you from talking. Or if they walk away? Yes! You're catching on!
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-29 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-29 Pub. Date: 2008-11-29
Image Number: 28302
Caption: All right, Sherry, you have a good one! Pardon me… What exactly does that mean? Have a good WHAT? It's probably better to say "Have a good day." It's just as insincere, and it has the added benefit of making sense. Beat it! Beat WHAT?
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-08 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-08 Pub. Date: 2008-08-08
Image Number: 25611
Caption: Thank you so much for giving me a kidney. Excuse me… Adding "so much" is unnecessary. And worse, you're telling people that whenever you say "thank you" without adding "so much," you only mean it a little bit. I'd thank you to stay out of my !@#$ business. See? Now how do I know you really mean that?
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-06 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-06 Pub. Date: 2008-08-06
Image Number: 25609
Caption: …So I told him, "you'd better have respect if you want to talk to her and I." Excuse me. The proper usage is "her and me," because if you were to drop the "her" pronoun, it would be "you'd better have respect if you want to talk to I." Y'see, both pronouns have to be able to work alone, or the sentence is grammatically incorrect. She and I don't give a @#$%! Good! Good! That works.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-01-29 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-02-02 Pub. Date: 2006-01-29
Image Number: 12882
Caption: Thank you for calling your "Singular" voicemail. Good news! We've just upgraded your voicemail service. Previously, you were able to easily skip or delete messages from telemarketers or your annoying relatives, but we have concealed this convenience! What the ....? From now on, voicemail won't tell you how to do that, so unless you figure it out on your own, you'll need to listen to each entire message! We estimate this will increase the amount of time you waster listening to voicemail by at least 856%! What the #$$% would they do this?! More good news! Did we mention you are charged by the minute for calling your voicemail?
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-01-07 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-01-07 Pub. Date: 2006-01-07
Image Number: 12672
Caption: What's "dios mio" mean, anyway? You've been saying that ever since we were kids. It means "My dear god" in Spanish. It's a prayer you say when you're really frustrated or just can't believe what you're seeing. Why do you always say it around me? Dios mio...
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-09-04 usage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-09-09 Pub. Date: 2005-09-04
Image Number: 11566
Caption: I was just on your blog and I read that new article you wrote: "The Failure of Twinkie™ Diplomacy." What did you think of it, Susan?….
     
Result page:     (17 images)