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Candorville

Comics about twenties.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-07 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-07 Pub. Date: 2019-06-07
Image Number: 177956
Caption: Hi, Momma. Yes, The Giving Tree book you send Lionel did just arrive. Well … we didn't call to thank you because it just got her 20 minutes ago. Well … Yes, actually, calling you in 19 minutes ago would have been too much trouble, because we were racing out to get to day care in time. Well ... yes, I do remember how long you were in labor. But I don't see what that ahs to do with -- well ...
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-14 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-14 Pub. Date: 2019-04-14
Image Number: 177112
Caption: I'm only 5,000 donors short. What? What're you talking about, Clyde? Did you know the Democratic party changed they debate rules, bruh? All a brother need is to be at 1% in the polls, have 65,000 unique donors, an' 200 unique donors per state from at least 20 states. An' did you know there ain't no law at all against changin' your legal name to Bernie Sanderz and settin' up a donate to Bernie Sanderz website? Also, ain't no law against sayin' Buy my new album on iTunes in answer to ever debate question. I've got a strange feeling of deja vu about this. Don't worry. I'm sure I won't actually win.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-08 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-08 Pub. Date: 2019-04-08
Image Number: 177113
Caption: California accounted for 75% of all new jobs in February. Pareto Principle. It's how the world works. 20% of the people own 80% of the land. 20% of my clients give me 80% of my sales. I bet if we studies it, we'd find that 20% of what happens to us gives us 80% of our memories. Technically, California only has 12% of the population, not 20%. 20% of the time, you get 80% of the point.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-24 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-24 Pub. Date: 2019-01-24
Image Number: 175943
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I don't know what's happened to journalism? All the mainstream journalists went after me on Twitter. I wrote and article dissecting the voting records and the past actions of the people who CNN tells us are the Democratic frontrunners for the 2020 presidential nomination. How could you, Lemont! Now's not the time for that sort of thing. They accused me of being divisive ... and Russian.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-22 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-22 Pub. Date: 2019-01-22
Image Number: 175941
Caption: Beto Klobuchar is the Democratic frontrunner for 2020. Beto Klobuchar is gonna be almost impossible to beat. All the big donors seem to be impressed by Beto Klobuchar. What do you think of Beto Klobuchar? He cool. He prolly a good choice. I made him up. I ... yeh, I knew that. I was jus' playin' along wicha, bruh.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-21 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-21 Pub. Date: 2019-01-21
Image Number: 175940
Caption: Lotta Democrats runnin' for president, bruh. Kamala Harris my first choice. Cool … Why? Whachoomean why? I mean, which of her ideas do you like best? Which of her policies? I like her 'cause she tough. She don't take no mess. She handle business. That's not a policy. It is where I come from.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-06 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-06 Pub. Date: 2019-01-06
Image Number: 175478
Caption: I'm thinking of buying an income property. That's 'cause I'm already paying one mortgage that I barely qualified for, so I didn't think I'd qualify for another. But YouTube videos told me I'm not supposed to get a new mortgage. I'm supposed to get a home equity line of credit, and use that heloc to pay cash for my investment property. A heloc is usually 80% of the equity a homeowner has in the home. And I have lots of equity. What's lots? 20% of what I bought it for. Wait ... didn't you buy your shack for $8,000? I can get a pretty sweet income property in Chernobyl for 80 percent of $8,000. But your heloc wouldn't be 80% of $8,000. It'd be 80% of 10% of $8,000. Yeah. I figured that out. That's why my realtor and I are scoping out underwater caves off the Siberian coast. That's why you wanted to borrow my scuba gear.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-30 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-30 Pub. Date: 2018-12-30
Image Number: 175374
Caption: Your suggestion didn't work, Susan. Thinking about baseball should have worked. Did you do it right? What do you mean? Did you think of the boring, repetitive parts? I tried. I thought about the batter swinging the bat around in the on-deck circle … The runners going around and around the diamond ... the batters swinging and almost always missing ... But instead of distracting me, it relaxed me. It wasn't boring, Susan. It was rhythmic. Baseball is a Zen-like experience that puts you into a trance. It frees the mind and makes it easier ... not harder ... for your mind to wander where you don't want it to go ... so it didn't stop me from wondering who's going to run for president in 2020. Ok, plan B: Try doing long division in your head.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-05 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-05 Pub. Date: 2018-11-05
Image Number: 174820
Caption: Have you voted, Tyrone? I tried, Rosencrantz. But I was purged. They said that I had moved, and I failed to register at my new address. But you haven't moved. You've been in this same alley for twenty years. They said my old address was adjacent to dumpster, but my new address is further away from dumpster. Well, did you at least vote provisionally? They said a rampaging pack of wildebeests devoured the provisional ballots.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-14 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-14 Pub. Date: 2018-10-14
Image Number: 174287
Caption: My friend Miranda asked me what I thought of the outfit she was going to wear to Burning Man. It was very, very … revealing. How did that make you feel? Like she was toying with me. She made it clear twenty years ago that she just wanted to be friends. But here she was showing me something that she had to know would poke my furnace. You mean stoke your furnace. No, I mean poke. My furnace has been stoked since Freshman year -- it took me years to get that down from a raging inferno to a barely perceptible glow. I see. I think. So I juggled the furnace door to make sure it was locked, and then I stood there wondering if she was poking the coals to reignite them, or poking the coals to make sure they were dead. Or, maybe she just wanted a furnace's opinio -- can we not talk in metaphors? I'm confused. I welded shut the furnace door and turned on the A.C. just to be safe.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-04 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-04 Pub. Date: 2018-09-04
Image Number: 173880
Caption: You might wanna get your hair checked, bruh. Your ask-frequency down 20% per year. That's a bad sight, Big L. My what? This year you asked me C-Dog, did you take my clippers? 5 times. By this time last year, you done asked 25 times. Guess how many times you asked the year before? Give. Me. Back. My. Clippers. Yo' hair growth be on a perfect negative-sloped linear Bezier curve, bruh. That @#$% serious.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-14 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-14 Pub. Date: 2018-05-14
Image Number: 171501
Caption: Wanna play 21? Yeh, bruh. Why don't you get started? I'ma go watch a movie. You text me when you get up to 20 points, then I'll come in. No, thanks. I don’t need your ridiculous head start. I'm offended you even offered. I'll text you when I get to 19. Maybe I'll watch a double feature.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-25 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-25 Pub. Date: 2018-04-25
Image Number: 170821
Caption: 20 million people have read my article about the raid on Trump's lawyer's office. You must've read it. A lot of them were blown away with the scoop I got. You must've been blown away. I got an anonymous tip, so I drove through the night and hid out in a potted plant right in his office. I saw the whole thing unfold. You must be impressed. It was a very nice article, Lemont. You hated it.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-06 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-06 Pub. Date: 2018-02-06
Image Number: 168181
Caption: I wrote an article about how people are purchasing followers for their social media accounts. There are bot factories that grab selfies we post to social media, along with out names and email addresses … and they use all our info to create and sell these fake follower accounts. A lot of famous people with millions of followers actually bought most of them. Did you write that 'cause President Trump mocked you for only having 20,000 Twitter followers? Totally unrelated.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-26 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-26 Pub. Date: 2018-01-26
Image Number: 167654
Caption: Twitter. Twitter.comcandorville. @candorville - I read your article about Orpah maybe running for president. I agree with you, the amateurization of America, from Uber to academia to AirBnB to the White House, is a troubling trend. If only we'd all get certified by taking awesome online courses for only $299/month at tinyurl.com/bxn8Lm6. They just get sneakier and sneakier. Anyway, I'm totally just a fan writing to tell you I love your work.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-25 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-25 Pub. Date: 2018-01-25
Image Number: 167653
Caption: Will Oprah … I said no. Mainstream Media. Canada or bust. Can't I just ask will Oprah run for president one more time. No!
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-13 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-13 Pub. Date: 2018-01-13
Image Number: 167094
Caption: I had a dream. I dreamt that in 2020, "The Rock" runs for president as an independent. The Republicans nominate Trump again. Democrats are so overconfident that they nominate the corpse of Woodrow Wilson. And while we're all distracted, Congress quietly eliminates elections altogether and they appoint an immortal A.I. as the chairman and CEO of the American Corporate Empire, LLC. I think I like Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech better. I'd tell you the rest, but you might as well just watch "The Matrix."
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-10 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-10 Pub. Date: 2017-12-10
Image Number: 165352
Caption: I've been racking my brain trying to think of every interaction I've ever had with a woman. Dr. Noodle. I mean, when I was in my twenties, I did what guys in their twenties often did: I hit on women. Lots of them. We used to think that if a lady wasn’t interested, we just weren't trying hard enough. There were books about how to be more clever. How to be a pickup artist. There were times at the club when I was dancing with a lady, thought I had a shot, and went in for a kiss. Sometimes they didn't even know they were into me until I kissed them. But then they kissed back. Other times, they pushed me off and that was that ... or so I thought. Now, at any moment, some random woman could come forward and ruin my life. Well, lets start by acknowledging it's a healthy thing for society that men are learning what it's like to live in fear, for a change. Doesn't feel healthy.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-21 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-21 Pub. Date: 2017-10-21
Image Number: 163907
Caption: I can't remember how to divide, Clyde. Say what? Long division. I don't remember how to do it. I got an "A" in calculus back in high school. I got a "4" on the AP test. But let 20 years go by, and all of a sudden I have no idea how to even begin to divide 4,852.8 by 297.492. It take most people more than 20 years to forget how to use a calculator, bruh. You might wanna get y'self checked out.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-02 twenty 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-02 Pub. Date: 2017-07-02
Image Number: 159209
Caption: You ever think maybe the world would've been better off if we'd lost the Revolutionary War? Seriously? You gonna say that right before the Fourth of July? It's just a thought experiment. You scared of thought experiments? C-Dog ain't scared of nothin'. All right. Let's say France never helped us win the revolution. We'd have lost. Britain probably still would've freed the slaves in 1833, so ... No civil war. No backlash to reconstruction, so ... no KKK. France wouldn't have drowned in debt. Their monarchy would've lasted longer, so ... no Napoleon. No Napoleon, no threat uniting German nationalists, so ... no World War I or II ... no Hitler. No Manifest Destiny, so no genocide of Native Americans. The UK wouldn't have turned to the Middle East and Africa to replace its lost holdings, so ... no carving up the Ottoman Empire, no chaos in the Middle East, and no ISIS. Bruh ... if you don't wanna loan me $20 for fireworks, just say so. We'd probably still have black licorice. No getting around that.
     
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