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Candorville

Comics about tweets and tweeting.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-12-08 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-12-08 Pub. Date: 2019-12-08
Image Number: 180640
Caption: Last week, a drunk driver almost ran me off the road. Dr. Noodle. So I tweeted Drunk drivers are the worst. Some guy replied What about violent criminals? He wrote They kill people and take their stuff on purpose. Why are you minimizing violent crime? I replied This is stupid. Then someone else replied that I'm heartless for writing that Caring about violent crime is stupid. I replied with That's not what I said! Have you considered that social media is a waste of time? Someone else replied He's denying it. That's proof he know he got caught.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-06 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-06 Pub. Date: 2019-10-06
Image Number: 179724
Caption: The American people are so happy that we have the greatest president of all time! Sure, some libs hate him, but the American people laugh at those losers! LOLOLOLOL! The American people are 100% behind our POTUS! What're you doing, auditioning for the role of Suckup who posts fawning replies every single time the President tweets? Heh-heh ... Heh ... You know they have bots for that, right? *@#$! automation is ruining everything!
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-31 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-31 Pub. Date: 2019-08-31
Image Number: 179196
Caption: We're back from Canada. What happened? Mommy tried getting in, but they said Trump's racist Twitter rants are not grounds for refugee status. Well, welcome back. The country wouldn't have been the same without its future low-paid, debt-laden workforce. What? ... I mean, without you.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-30 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-30 Pub. Date: 2019-07-30
Image Number: 178782
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Elizabeth Warren. As many of you have correctly guessed … I've been ghost-writing all of her Donald Trump-related speeches and tweets. That's why she's been tearing him a new one lately. Sadie's lady's coming for you, Donald!!! ... But I would like all my listeners to write to Liz and ask her to stop leaving out all my well-crafted expletives.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-26 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-26 Pub. Date: 2019-07-26
Image Number: 178673
Caption: Clyde, what was going on between you and Ice-T on Twitter the other day? Jus' a Twitter beef, bruh. Even a O.G. I respect ain't above some schoolin'. But both of you just went back and forth about which one of you cared less about the back and forth you were doing. All day. Fools better recognize that I couldn't care less if they recognize.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-16 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-16 Pub. Date: 2019-06-16
Image Number: 178092
Caption: Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are all confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout, they're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions. Those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't so bad. Just tell them you were being sarcastic. Ok. Oh no! Now they're saying I'm being defensive and must have something to hide! Say the media took you our of context. Ok. Oh no!
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-26 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-26 Pub. Date: 2019-01-26
Image Number: 175945
Caption: I got into an argument with someone on Twitter who tweeted that I argue on Twitter too much. M.A.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-05 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-05 Pub. Date: 2019-01-05
Image Number: 175661
Caption: Hey, little buddy. Your Uncle Mort is in DC getting sworn in. The President sprained his Twitter thumb. A climate-change-fueled monsoon just swamped the island nation of Ala Ala Ozo. Go away, Randy! Facebook was caught compromising out privacy again. A warthog ran wild downtown, injuring twelve. GO AWAY! Just filling you in on what's been happening since you weren't there. GO AWAY!
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-13 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-13 Pub. Date: 2018-10-13
Image Number: 174392
Caption: Ima Buvitall @imabuvitall. Turns out processed meat causes cancer. I've heard that. Makes sense meat's at the root of all our problems. After all, if nature intended us to eat meat, we wouldn't have to cook it. Valid point. Ima Buvitall @imabuvitall. That's what the anti-meatists want us to think, anyway. If nature didn't want us eating meat, it wouldn't have made us smart enough to invent cooking. I need a burger. Right @#$% now.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-12 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-12 Pub. Date: 2018-07-12
Image Number: 172716
Caption: It the internment camp for refugees from the Canardville sinkhole. We're gonna be fine, Sadie. I got the word out. How, dimwit? I always carry a burner phone hidden don't-ask-where. I tweeted, Snap-chatted, Raftred, Plurked and Instagrammed. I see. SPEAK ENGLISH, DORK-BOY. I even kept it old-school adn dropped a pin to a journalist I know. What you care to see how I drop a pin?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-01 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-01 Pub. Date: 2018-04-01
Image Number: 169546
Caption: I made some Kraft mac & cheese the other day. Why you ain't called me, bruh? I'da ate some. That's not the point, Clyde. The point is, it didn't taste anywhere near as delicious as it did when I was a kid. Serves you right. You think maybe they changed the formula? Did they find out something in it was dangerous? Did they do it to save money? The thought kept me up all night. Finally, at 3 a.m., I tweeted Did Kraft change it's formula ... or have I gone crazy ... or is nothing ever as delicious as it was when you were a six-year-old child? You really tryin' hard to find somethin' to be upset about that ain't Trump. I spent all morning taste-testing Froot Loops, KFC, Funyuns, Jell-o pudding pops, etc ... They must've changed their formulas too!
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-21 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-21 Pub. Date: 2018-03-21
Image Number: 169628
Caption: Is it all just a waste of time? I don't know what you mean, bruh. I wrote an article called Mr. President, if you want to look like you're Russia's stooge, firing your Secretary of State right after he strongly criticizes Russia is a great way to do it. Just seconds after I posted it, thousands of people attacked me on Twitter, and I've been debating them ever since. But now I'm not sure any of them were actual people. If they was actual people, they'da tuned you out after that long-@#$ headline, like I did.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-20 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-20 Pub. Date: 2018-03-20
Image Number: 169627
Caption: I'm starting to feel like nothing really matters anymore. Dr. Noodle. I remember just ten years ago, I'd spend hours online arguing with random strangers about important things. M.D. We all seemed to take plenty of time back then to listen to each others' points. We'd research our counter-arguments and present them. Sometimes we'd actually change each others' minds. I see. So when you tweeted all that last night, how did people respond? Some said I was being a snowflake, other said that was fake news.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-23 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-23 Pub. Date: 2018-02-23
Image Number: 168664
Caption: Twitter. Twitter.com/Candorville. Lemont Brown: On date now. Someone call me so she can hear my Star Trek communicator ringtone & I can judge her reaction. #momentoftruth #is-she-a-keeper?
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-03 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-03 Pub. Date: 2018-02-03
Image Number: 167922
Caption: Twitter. Lemont Brown @candorville. Siri, remind me to have Amazon send my extra strength foot fungus cream in an unmarked package. Don't want nosy neighbors to see it and tweet about it or anything.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-24 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-24 Pub. Date: 2018-01-24
Image Number: 167652
Caption: Fox News tweeted that crime is down since Trump took office. So I wrote an article about how crime has been steadily falling for 25 years. Some random guy posted that’s fake news in response. So I sent him links to the data. He wrote back accusing me of obsessed with making him believe what I believe. I replied hey, you contacted me. Then he called me names. The internet is the dumbest land there ever was. I replied leave me alone. He replied you first.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-31 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-31 Pub. Date: 2017-08-31
Image Number: 162090
Caption: I got into a Twitter feud wit @joanwalsh. @davidshuster asked her and @joyannreid to apologize for using the term "alt left." I backed him up. When they and @govhowarddean used the term against progressives, they helped validate it. And that helps @realdonaldtrump neutralize the toxicity of the term "alt right" ... which makes it harder to fight white supremacy. I think I won. I'm going to give @govhowarddean a piece of my mind too. Are you @trying to @change-the-subject because you're @losing the @argument about @josswhedon's @divorce? It's just @joss. And I'm @changing-the-subject because it's @none-of-our-business.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-26 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-26 Pub. Date: 2017-08-26
Image Number: 161805
Caption: I saw all them tweets you made this mornin' about how both sides need to come together … about how even though both sides have very different views of what our defining principles ought to be, we should respect each other. I was almost with you right till the last tweet, which don't make no sense, bruh. #startrekdiscovery fans + #oldschooltrek fans, stop the madness! is pretty self-explanatory, Clyde. What language is you even speaking?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-12 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-12 Pub. Date: 2017-08-12
Image Number: 161296
Caption: But --- I said "no." Mainstream Media Don't you want to hear what Donald Trump Tweeted? No!
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-09 tweet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-09 Pub. Date: 2017-07-09
Image Number: 159502
Caption: It's hard to debunk the whole "fake news" thing when so-called "journalists" keep lying, or keep not correcting their "mistakes" take Joy-Ann Reid, for instance. Who she? She has a show on MSNBC. The other week, after that former Bernie-supporter shot at those congressmen ... somebody tweeted "too soon to mention Bernie owes his entire political career to the NRA? Particularly his support of assault rifles his R opponent decried?" "Journalist" Joy-Ann Reid retweeted that, adding "I hope we have the maturity as a country to confront facts like this at the same time we're thinking of victims and keeping level heads." But it wasn't a fact. Sanders opposed assault rifles. The NRA backed him in that one race to punish the Republican who'd just changed his position on assault rifles. A Vermont gun store owner said at the time, "At least [Bernie's] consistent" with his opposition to semi-automatic rifles. A simple Google search would've told her that, apparently Joy-Ann Reid doesn't even Joy-Ann read. This whole thing was so you could say that joke, wasn't it.
     
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