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Candorville

Comics about trial lawyers.

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Result page:    2  Next  (34 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-04 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-04 Pub. Date: 2011-08-04
Image Number: 63974
Caption: So how did your testimony go? Mr. Braun, is it not true that you were in a sanitarium for two weeks spouting nonsense and you're unfit to be a father. "Mr. Braun"? Um … my evil ex's lawyer didn't know who he was messing with. I'm sorry, it's "Brown," not "Braun." ... Sir. I sure set him straight. Yay, Lemont!!!
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-19 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-19 Pub. Date: 2011-07-19
Image Number: 63527
Caption: My lawyer says I have to testify, because Benny Russell's testimony devastated my case. What did Mr. Russell say? I … I don't want to talk about it. What? Why not? Tell me! You don't want to know. Now I really have to know! Tell me! It's much too horrible to tlak about. Ok. Hey ... you're supposed to ask four times! It's the rule!
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-14 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-14 Pub. Date: 2011-07-14
Image Number: 63190
Caption: You're gonna have to testify. Ok. That eyewitness testimony was really damaging. It made you look nuts. Like when he said you claimed you unleashed an ancient evil that'll end the world. You have to testify that it was just a euphemism for passing gas or something. I SAID I'm sorry already.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-13 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-13 Pub. Date: 2011-07-13
Image Number: 63189
Caption: To prove Lemont is insane, Roxanne's lawyer questions an eyewitness … Did Mr. Brown ever say anything to you about Roxanne Dubois? He said she snored, had lousy taste in music, didn't appreciate the subtle humor of "I Dream of Jeanne," and that she's a 400-year-old vampire. Would you characterize that as "crazy"? Of course. Everyone knows "Bewitched" was much better. What? What?
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-12 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-12 Pub. Date: 2011-07-12
Image Number: 63188
Caption: Roxanne's lawyer calls a rebuttal witness to challenge Doctor Noodle's assessment that Lemont Brown is a sane, fit father. Mr. Benny Russell … … Were you Lemont Brown's cellmate at Sunnyville Sanitarium? No one will give me any paper. Do you remember where you are? Do you remember who I am? You're the man who promised to give me paper if I say "Lemont Brown is totally insane." OBJECTION! Overruled. If I don't finish my story the captain can't open the orb box, and if he can't open the orb box, he can't contact the prophets.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-30 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-30 Pub. Date: 2011-06-30
Image Number: 62674
Caption: Dr. Noodle, would you say Lemont Brown is insane, and therefore an unfit parent? You'll say Lemont is insane. Or I'll eat you. I'm Dr. Noodle. You're safe here. You can trust me. Lem … Lemont Brown is … … every bit as sane as I am.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-14 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-14 Pub. Date: 2011-06-14
Image Number: 62124
Caption: You're happy with your lawyer? But just yesterday, you said your lawyer's in over his head. Yeah, but compared to Roxanne's lawyer … Your honor, we may need a continuance, for about 15-20 years. I may be … um … otherwise occupied. Her lawyer is John Edwards? I'm happy with my lawyer.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-01 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-01 Pub. Date: 2011-06-01
Image Number: 61586
Caption: So the judge ruled out DNA. I still have hundreds of pictures of Lionel and me together that prove I'm his dad. I have pictures of me and the Three Stooges together. Photoshop is so WIN! I miss the '90s. Look: it's me, you and Justin Bieber.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-31 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-31 Pub. Date: 2011-05-31
Image Number: 61585
Caption: So the judge says DNA testing my son is out of 'cause it violates Roxanne's religion. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the judge being Roxanne's mom. That's the bad news. I saved the good news for last. What's that? Mommy says you're getting railroaded! That does not mean what you think it means. I got us matching outfits.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-30 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-30 Pub. Date: 2011-05-30
Image Number: 61584
Caption: The judge denied our request for a DNA test, so there's no way to prove Lionel is your son. What? Why?! Roxanne claimed it violated her religion. She says she's a Teteoinnan … … and that their ancient Aztec scriptures dictate only the MOTHER GODDESS can examine our DNA under electron microscopes. People are always reading scripture however the #$%* they want to.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-20 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-20 Pub. Date: 2011-05-20
Image Number: 61000
Caption: Roxanne says she's never even HEARD of you? Custody battles can be vicious. I thought I was ready for anything. Like her saying you're poor, inadequate, slovenly … a little bit fat, or -- YES, like that. But then we didn't know what to do, so the judge declared a recess. I'm always prepared for this eventuality. Batman or Boba Fett? What's your poison?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-06 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-06 Pub. Date: 2011-05-06
Image Number: 60511
Caption: Don't worry, Lemont. I'm prepared for whatever your evil ex's lawyer says. The can call you neglectful, say you're abusive, a terrorist, poor, inadequate and slovenly. And a little fat around -- I GET IT! But I'm prepared for anything! I've got rebuttals! I've got expert testimony! I've got -- Your honor, Ms. Dubois has never even heard of this man before. ... I've got poopy pants. Me too.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-05 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-05 Pub. Date: 2011-05-05
Image Number: 60510
Caption: Does the petitioner have anything to add, before I hear from opposing counsel? No, your honor, I think we can safely say "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED." What's wrong? That phrase … It's … oh, never mind. I guess it's before your time. Carry on. I say to opposing counsel ... No! Don't say "br.. BRING IT ON!!!
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-04 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-04 Pub. Date: 2011-05-04
Image Number: 60509
Caption: Your honor, I'd like to call character witnesses that'll attest to Lemont Brown's fitness as a parent. Later, counsel, first the court wishes to hear opening statements from my daughter's -- I mean, from the RESPONDENT'S lawyer. That's good, 'cause I couldn't find anybody who liked you enough to actually show up. ... Oh, did I say that out loud? Yes.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-03 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-03 Pub. Date: 2011-05-03
Image Number: 60508
Caption: The court trusts that counsel hath recovered from the chicken pox? I hath, your honor. "Hath"? Little known fact: I created - I mean, HAD - the chicken pox once, myself. So counsel has the court's sympathies. HOW old did you say this judge is? It is - I mean, in simpler times it was BELIEVED to be - a curse inflicted on disobedient children through the clever use of sophisticated black magic ... Ancient. Like you but even worse. ... And of course, chickens.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-13 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-13 Pub. Date: 2011-04-13
Image Number: 59638
Caption: I can't open the door, Lemont. Mommy said never to open the door for grown-ups when she's not here. That's it! I can't stand it! I'm never getting custody of m son! Life is a cruel joke! My evil ex's mother is the judge! My lawyer is a six-year-old brat with chicken pox! Go to your room, young man. Huh? That's what Mommy always says when I throw a tantrum. Surprisingly it works. To Hell ... o Kitty ... with you! You can also try sitting in the corner.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-12 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-12 Pub. Date: 2011-04-12
Image Number: 59637
Caption: By order of the judge, Lemont attempts to produce his six-year-old lawyer, so Lemont's custody case may continue. Open the door, Billy. I know you're in there. AM NOT! Knock knock knock. Billy, it's me, Lemont. Your client. Are you sure you're not child protective services? Are you sure you're not here to take me away from Mommy just because she's always away working three jobs and I don't ever make my bed or put my toys away? Yes, Billy, I'm sure. SHE WARNED ME YOU'D SAY THAT!!!
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-11 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-11 Pub. Date: 2011-04-11
Image Number: 59636
Caption: Hello, this is Mrs. Meeks. Little Billy? Is that you? Where are you? Our two-week continuance is over. Your chicken pox should be all gone. I know you're only six, but … you're my lawyer and I need you. Little Billy - who is my son - is very sick. But all you have to do is ask the judge for a time out. It'll help if you offer her half your Twinkie. BILLY, WHAT THE ... MUPPET ... IS GOING ON?! My name isn't Billy, my name is Mommy.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-28 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-28 Pub. Date: 2011-03-28
Image Number: 59012
Caption: Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Hi, Lemont, I know you're not there 'cause you're at your custody hearing. But I want you to come home to this message: I know you're worried you'll lose, but … You're a good man, Lemont, and I have faith in you. Besides, there's a sign: Your lawyer, who had no faith in your case, disappeared. And his six-year-old nephew took over, and you say he's doing a surprisingly good job. Nothing is so persuasive as the heartfelt words of an innocent child. His taking over your case was a sign, Lemont. And signs are important. Nah, I'm here. Had to get a 2-week continuance. My lawyer has the chicken pox. Signs are overrated. Tap tap tap tap tap.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-15 trial lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-15 Pub. Date: 2011-03-15
Image Number: 58577
Caption: Clyde … sure, you're a thug, and you make awful decisions. But you're also the only friend I have who's actually met Roxanne. The judge said my lawyer and I can't say anything bad about her in the custody hearing. But maybe as a witness, YOU could slip in some really underhanded, mean comments about her ... ... just to contrast the part where you talk about how ethical I am. That reasoning appeals to me. It does? Never mind, then.
     
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