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Candorville

Comics about tonight .

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (56 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-23 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-23 Pub. Date: 2019-10-23
Image Number: 180022
Caption: I recommend Roscoe's Rib Shack on 47th, Burgerville on G Street, or PudgeBurger on Market. Oh, how I would love to eat there with YOU, Lemont. I'm free today, Sasha. Want to meet there for lunch? Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. I wish I could, Sunshine. I have some thing to do during the day. I am free tonight, though. You could come to my hotel room, like at around 2a.m. If you'd like to. I don't think PudgeBurger delivers at 2a.m. That's not ... Oh, never mind. Tap tap tap t-
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-01 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-01 Pub. Date: 2019-09-01
Image Number: 179190
Caption: I want you to work on something when you get home, minion. I'm supposed to be able to rest once I've gone home. I've always wanted to have a trademark one-liner, like the heroes of all those old action movies. Like in Cobra. Sylvester Stallone was a rogue cop who told a criminal You're the disease, and I'm the cure. Or like in Total Recall, when Arnold Schwarzenegger's wife turned out to be an evil killer. He eliminated her and then said Consider that a divorce. Or like in They live, when just before he killed a bunch of evil aliens, Rowdy Roddy Piper said "I have come here to chew bubblegum, and kick (butt) ... and I'm al out of bubblegum. Your task tonight is to generate six one-liners I can use whenever I squeeze unpaid work out of my employees. I'm supposed to be able to rest once I've gone home. You're the rest, and I'm the bed. The kind with spikes on it ... See? That's awful. Fix that up and give me sixe more.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-25 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-25 Pub. Date: 2018-11-25
Image Number: 174819
Caption: This is the Hallmark Channel. Tonight on the Andy Griffith Show, little Opie Taylor gets … recruited into the Nazi party, only here on the History Channel. But first, Ancient Aliens … were easily confirmed for lifetime appointments to the federal courts. Fox News reports that most senators ... were totally rubber stamps! ... You've been watching Top Ten Favorite Office Supplies. If you like our content, do all the Youtube things: Like, share, and ... set fire to the Reichstag, giving Hitler an excuse to demand almost-unlimited emergency powers. Despite the evidence, he blamed it on a devious liberal conspiracy to subvert ... Gilligan, Mary Ann, and the Skipper, too.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-29 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-29 Pub. Date: 2018-07-29
Image Number: 172924
Caption: What's your worst fear, Lemont? Easy. Vacuum decay. As you probably know … The Higgs Field that holds the entire universe together could collapse at any moment. If at any point in reality, a tiny part of the Higgs Field slipped from its high-energy state to its lowest one, it would start an entropic cascade. It would collapse the entire Higgs Field. A bubble would expand at the speed of light obliterating the laws of physics within its growing sphere. Galaxies, stars, planets, you, me, goldfish ... All of our atoms would be instantly blasted apart. And get this: It may have already happened. Since it only grows at the speed of light, we'll have no warning at all ... I'm also afraid of the dentist. If I can't sleep tonight it's totally your fault.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-02 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-02 Pub. Date: 2018-04-02
Image Number: 170148
Caption: Goodnight, son. I hafta poop. Are you telling daddy the truth? Yeth. That's the third time you've told me that tonight. And every time, you don't poop. You just sit there and ask me to bring you toys. You're stalling for time, son. I'm on to you. Have you ever heard of The Boy Who Cried Poop? I hafta poop.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-15 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-15 Pub. Date: 2018-02-15
Image Number: 168416
Caption: You ready to see Black Panther tonight, Big L? Almost. I got the tickets, I got a baby sitter for Lionel … but I still need to sew my costume. You have any idea how hard it is to find black spandex? What? You're not afraid to be seen with a man wearing spandex tights, are you? Bruh, after what you wore to The Little Mermaid, ain't nothin' faze me.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-19 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-19 Pub. Date: 2018-01-19
Image Number: 167359
Caption: Oh, you got a big date tonight? Glad you came in. I could do somethin' for you. I could tell you ain't no haircut in the world gonna make a woman like you. If she like you, she like you. In fact, only thing a woman like more than a man who's all put together is a man she can put together. I don't think we like the same type of woman. Women like a scar, too. I could give you one. That'd be extra. (Originally published on 2016-01-01).
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-18 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-18 Pub. Date: 2018-01-18
Image Number: 167358
Caption: This C-Dog. Whachoo want, fool? Clyde, it's me, Lemont. I just wanna say thanks for watching Lionel for me tonight. Just an FYI: I'm potty training him, so please don't put a diaper on him till bedtime. Also, he's refusing to use the potty, so he may jump up and run around the house in mid-poop. Why you ain't tell me all this BEFORE I agreed to watch him?! No reason. (Originally published on 2015-12-31)
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-25 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-25 Pub. Date: 2017-12-25
Image Number: 166533
Caption: Merry Christmas … Yeah, I said it. Put that in your secularist pipe and smoke it. #LOL! #Youlose. Bet that really gets you upset, doesn't it? Not really. I love Christmas. I'm having a Christmas party tonight. My little boy's going to be an elf. I'm going to be Rudolph the Reindeer. Yeah, right. Like I believe that ... Would you like to come? Yes ... I mean, someone has to prove your "party" is a ruse!
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-20 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-20 Pub. Date: 2017-08-20
Image Number: 161117
Caption: Get outta here I'm busy! Got outta here I'm busy! Open Mike Night Presents Kids 3-5. Watch what you want! Watch what you want! Got my glock, an' my dollars, got my glock and' my dollars! A got seven baby mamas, I got seven baby mamas! All them (censored) on my (censored). All them (censored) on my (censored). Okay, thank you! Lots of talent here tonight, so let's keep it moving. And parents, pay attention to what your three-year-olds are watching. Okay, who's next?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-05 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-05 Pub. Date: 2017-05-05
Image Number: 157549
Caption: I can't watch Lionel for you tonight, Big L. I got things to do. People to set straight. Thunder to bring. Punks to put in check. They don't know who they messin' with. But they gonna learn tonight. This is why I never go with you to return defective products. You can't tell me Target ain't know they toaster busted.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-04 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-04 Pub. Date: 2017-05-04
Image Number: 157548
Caption: I think you're just jealous, Clyde. Of what? Of me. Because I have a child. A little guy who looks up to me and loves me to death. A little guy I get to teach, and care for, and laugh and play with, and read stories to. A little guy I get to lead on a journey. Deep down, you wish you had what I have, Clyde. Admit it. I'll say it once mo' again: I ain't babysittin' for you tonight.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-25 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-25 Pub. Date: 2017-01-25
Image Number: 153703
Caption: 1982. Last night I looked across the alley and saw your light on, but you weren't answering your tin can. I didn't know you called me. Maybe the string wasn't tight enough to receive the call. But I was busy anyway. I was writing to my pen pal. Chuck's been having trouble working up the courage to talk to some little red-haired girl. He was even too timid to try my suggested "pull her hair" ice-breaker. That's my best move. I don't know why you men think us women like that. Try my can again tonight, I'll try to get better reception.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-25 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-25 Pub. Date: 2016-09-25
Image Number: 148272
Caption: It all started when I considered voting for Donald Trump. He's against illegal immigration. I'm against illegal immigration. So why not? People said that made him racist. But I agree with him, and I know I'm not racist. And if people were wrong to call him "racist" about that, maybe they're wrong to call him racist about everything. I started arguing with my own wife. I said demanding Obama's birth certificate wasn't racist. I said wanting to ban all Muslim immigrants wasn't racist. Trump saying a judge couldn't do his job because he's Mexican-American? I said that wasn't racist. I said the fact he kept retweeting white supremacists wasn't racist. But yesterday ... I caught myself saying "What's so racist about white supremacists anyway?" You're worried that supporting Trump is desensitizing you to racism? No, I just wondered if I can bunk here tonight. My wife kicked me out.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-28 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-28 Pub. Date: 2016-05-28
Image Number: 143642
Caption: My son wants "Pajama Diaries" to win "Best Comic Strip" at tonight's awards because he likes pajamas. And with that, I became convinced Donald Trump will be our next president. Don't get me wrong, I love "Pajama Diaries." I'd be thrilled if it won. But I don't love what my son's reasoning says about humanity. We base our choices on highly personal, irrational reasons, and then we rationalize them after the fact. Aren't you being a little hard on a two-year-old? Don't you see? A lot of people vote with their inner two-year-olds.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-07 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-07 Pub. Date: 2016-05-07
Image Number: 142723
Caption: The therapist told me I have to go to sleep tonight, even if I have that dream I've been trying not to have. He said some nonsense about how I have to face my fears or else they'll become "phobias." Doctors are always making things sound worse than they are. Since when has an all-encompassing, debilitating fear been such a big deal?
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-18 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-18 Pub. Date: 2016-04-18
Image Number: 142112
Caption: I'm interviewing Hillary Clinton tonight, but I can't find my phone. Did I leave it at your place, Clyde? Yeh. But don't worry, I handled business for you, bruh. What's that mean? Some fool named "Pulitzer" called you, said you won somethin'. I told him to save that scam for someone who don't know better, an' I insulted his momma for you.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-29 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-29 Pub. Date: 2016-02-29
Image Number: 139624
Caption: Goodnight, son. I hafta poop. Are you telling daddy the truth? Yeth. That's the third time you've told me that tonight. And every time, you don't poop. You just sit there and ask me to bring you toys. You're stalling for time, son. I'm on to you. Have you ever heard of "The Boy Who Cried Poop"? I hafta poop.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-29 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-29 Pub. Date: 2016-01-29
Image Number: 138299
Caption: The Double date. So … ask your date why she couldn't be bothered to actually show up tonight. Ask her if they've ever heard of anything called an "airplane" in Vancouver. Tell her MY best friend has been through enough in life, and if she doesn't care enough about him to show up, I'm going to go over there and rip her hair out, strand by strand. Susan says she's sorry you couldn't make it. Aw, she's sweet. Tap tap tap tap t. I may have had too much Sangria.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-01 tonight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-01 Pub. Date: 2016-01-01
Image Number: 137117
Caption: Oh, you got a big date tonight? Glad you came in. I could do somethin' for you. I could tell you ain't no haircut in the world gonna make a woman like you. If she like you, she like you. In fact, only thing a woman like more than a man who's all put together is a man she can put together. I don't think we like the same type of woman. Women like a scar, too. I could give you one. That'd be extra.
     
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