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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (29 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-05 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-05 Pub. Date: 2019-08-05
Image Number: 178904
Caption: Did you know ICE and border patrol are detaining American citizens now? So far it's just a few. They detained 18-year-old Francisco Erwin Galicia for almost a month … even though he showed his state ID and his social security card. His mom showed them his birth certificate proving he was born in Dallas. But they still wouldn't release him ... not until the Dallas morning news reported on it. I still agree with the readers who said it was crude for you to title your article The Press is the Enema of the People.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-05 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-05 Pub. Date: 2019-07-05
Image Number: 178394
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I emailed Momma the rough draft of my memoir. I just wanted to know if my recollection of the scandalous patty-cake incident from preschool was accurate. Momma self-published it on Amazon. My book agent's furious, and two publishers have retracted their six-figure bids! On the bright side, now you have a story for your next memoir. She title it Look at What my Baby Wrote.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-07 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-07 Pub. Date: 2018-09-07
Image Number: 173883
Caption: I read that news article you wrote comparing the president to a mafia boss. You mean my humor column? It was totally inaccurate. Yes, the president called Cohen his fixer. And yes, he keeps praising stooges who don't flip on him. But he never gave Jared Kushner the title of patsy. He never threatened to make Mueller's career sleep with the fishes. And he does not celebrate signing every executive order by yelling bada-bing! (Sigh) you always know someone has no argument when he gets extra-literal about everything. A person can't get literal. A person's interpretation does that. Don't you know anything?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-01 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-01 Pub. Date: 2018-01-01
Image Number: 166779
Caption: I published my new book, Clyde. It's all about how I met my girlfriend and how Trump became president. It's called "Canada or Bust!" … Available right now from my website, from Amazon, and from a bookstore near you. Bruh … is we havin' a conversation, or is you tryna sell me somethin'? I would never try to sell my own friends something Clyde. That'd be tacky. Is that your book right there in your hands with the title pointed at my face?
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-01 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-01 Pub. Date: 2017-10-01
Image Number: 162685
Caption: I just finished reading Hillary Clinton's book, "What Had Happened Was … " Sound like a good book, bruh. I thought so. But you know, the real title was supposed to be "What Happened." So I figured I was just seeing things. But then I notices something. Whachoo noticed, Big L? All the other books on my bookshelf had unfamiliar titles too. I noticed my old copy of "1984" was not called "2017." "Deliverance" was not called "They Shoulda Stayed They Butts at Home." the book I thought was called "To Kill a Mockingbird" was not called "Black Man's Tragedy as a Growth Experience for a Little White Girl." Do you happen to have Photoshop, a printer and too much time on your hands? Must be that "Mandela Effect" think you always be talkin' 'bout. Give me back my old bookcovers.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-30 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-30 Pub. Date: 2017-03-30
Image Number: 156200
Caption: I'm coming out with a new book, Clyde. It's called "I Have Over 1,000 Facebook Friends and Only 50 of Them Bought My Latest Book … I have 257,000 Twitter Followers, and Only 5,000 of Them Bought My Latest Book … and I Have One Allegedly Close Friend Sitting Right Next to Me and He's Never Bought Any of My Books." That's 'cause you titles be way too long, bruh. Colorblind Ed.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-29 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-29 Pub. Date: 2016-08-29
Image Number: 147919
Caption: Clyde, have you seen the trailer for that new Eddie Murphy movie? Yes, "Magical Negro." I seen it. It's not called "Magical Negro." You mean it ain't about a black character whose only purpose is to use his special insight to aid white characters? It's a true story. So that's different. And it's called "Mr. Church." C-Dog call a movie what it should be called. Wanna go see "Mr. Church" with me? I'd rather go see "Watch Margot Robbie in Hot Pants for Two Hours" again.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-31 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-31 Pub. Date: 2016-07-31
Image Number: 145874
Caption: Hello, Mr. Dogg. My hingoa is "Richie." I am calling from illustrious Tonga Tech Alumni Association. You achieved your degree at our online university. Got my doctorate, fool. Get it right. We would like for to extend to you the invitation to now pursue your double doctorate. For a low low price of only $150 U.S. dollars per day you can take your Tonga Tech educationals to the ultimate level in only six weeks. Whatchyall got in your extra-doctorate program, bruh? C-Dog time is valuable. I ain't got six weeks for you, not unless your curriculum is bangin'. We've got very many programs of some sort that will allow you to call yourself "Double Doctor." ... such as a doctorate in real estate management, taught by cardboard cutout of Donald Trump. Lemme think about it. "Double Doctor Dogg" got a ring to it.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-12 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-12 Pub. Date: 2013-05-12
Image Number: 96331
Caption: You gonna see Star Trek Into Darkness. @#$% no, fool. Thug 4 Life. For Roscoe. Why not? The title too long. I don’t like a long-title movie. E'rething worth watchin' has a two-word title or less. "Star Wars," good. "The Phantom Menace," boring. "The Matrix," good. "The Matrix Revolutions," boring as #$*%. Rocky, Fargo, Jaws, Psycho, Friday, Gladiator, Scarface ... Thug 4 Life. For Roscoe. Terms of Endearment ... The Unbearable Lightness of Being ... The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants ... Thug 4 Life. For Roscoe. I rest my case. You would be the worst lawyer in the whole world. Insults with more than nine words is too long.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-02 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-02 Pub. Date: 2013-04-02
Image Number: 95255
Caption: Many cable shows are pulling in better ratings than network shows. In response, the networks are making drastic changes. ABC has announced they're renaming "The View." Starting tomorrow it will be called "The Walking Dead." And from now on, Fox's "Bones" will be called "The Walking Dead." We now return you to a classic episode of "The Walking Dead Trek," already in progress. " ... He's UN-dead, Jim."
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-12-10 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-12-10 Pub. Date: 2012-12-10
Image Number: 90866
Caption: You look tired. I was up all night with Lionel. He had a nightmare. I guess I shouldn’t have read him my latest book as a bedtime story. It's called "RUN! Vampires, Werewolves, The One That Got Away and Other Demons." You couldn’t think of a longer title?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-05 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-05 Pub. Date: 2011-12-05
Image Number: 31623
Caption: I'm not sure why you need to talk with me about your promotion. You're my top man, Garcia. You've been handling promotions on your own for years. You handled Pepsi, and Dr. Sasquatch's Depilatory for Extremely Hairy Chicks. No ... Sir ... By "promotion," I mean I want to take on more responsibility for more money and a better title. Oh, I see! I'm not familiar with that usage of the term. (Published originally on 2009-04-13)
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-17 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-17 Pub. Date: 2011-08-17
Image Number: 64451
Caption: You don't know what countries are in the horn of Africa? You of all people should know that! You racist. Why should I know that ... 'Cause I'm a rapper? 'Cause I'm street? 'Cause I'm black? "Cause it was the title of your last CD! That's neither here nor there, David Duke.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-09 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-09 Pub. Date: 2010-08-09
Image Number: 50718
Caption: Lemont, why don't you tell us why your book's called "Katrina's Ghost"? Because I hate spoilers. I saw a movie trailer the other day. It showed the whole plot. I hate that sort of thing. … And trailers that show characters dancing for no reason. Like I'm gonna think "Ooh, a party! Can't miss that!" Can we get back to why it's ... Stupid trailers! YOU know what I'm talkin' about!
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-30 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-30 Pub. Date: 2010-04-30
Image Number: 46757
Caption: I said "So I think I'll go to my online-college reunion." Further back. "Maybe they'll switch my doctorate for a Master's Degree." Further back. "I'm tired of people callin' me 'Doctor Dogg.'" Further back. "I think I'd like to be called 'Master Dogg.'" Next time I say "back up," just smack me.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-25 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-25 Pub. Date: 2010-03-25
Image Number: 45425
Caption: Hello, little lady … can I help you? How'd you get into my office? Hahahah, how cute … this is MY office! Impressed? This is the Director of Advertising/PR's office. Yes, I know. That's ME. You're just a little hysterical. I'm the new DAPR. Get it? "Dapper"? Short for "Director of --" I GET IT! GET OUT OF MY CHAIR!!!
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-20 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-20 Pub. Date: 2009-05-20
Image Number: 33642
Caption: Clyde, have you seen my computer? I don't answer to that no more. (Sigh). Fine. "C-Dog," have you seen my computer? That's Doctor C-Dog, but I wouldn't expect your ign'ant @#$% to know that. Tonga Island Online College two-week Doctorate program, fool! What! GIVE ME BACK MY COMPUTER!
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-04-24 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-04-24 Pub. Date: 2009-04-24
Image Number: 31771
Caption: All right, you've got yourself a client. $ $. Sorry, gotta jet. There's a press conference, and I'm the senior White House correspondent… $ $ $ $. …For the newspaper.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-24 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-24 Pub. Date: 2009-01-24
Image Number: 29571
Caption: The Chronicle promoted you to Senior White House correspondent, but they didn't give you a raise? No, they're broke. Can't afford it. Well are they at least relocating you to DC? …And by "relocating," I don't mean giving you a bus schedule. Oh. Then no.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-11 title 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-11 Pub. Date: 2008-06-11
Image Number: 24090
Caption: Yes, my child? "Child," Reverend? We're the same age. Went to preschool together. "Child" is condescending. I'm pretty sure other pastors don't call grown men "child." "Brother" is more appropriate. What's on your mind, Brother Brown? Reverend, my fiancée says I'm too picky.
     
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