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Candorville

Comics about taps and tapping.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-24 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-24 Pub. Date: 2019-10-24
Image Number: 180023
Caption: Oh my God I went on the greatest date today! He took me to a rose garden. Um … Sasha … Tap tap tap t- Did you mistakenly send that to ME? Was if meant for someone else? Tap tap tap tap tap t- Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. No. For you. I hadn't planned on dating, but I figured it would be a good way to get to know your city, Sunshine. Have you ever heard of Yelp?! He and I aren't serious. Yet.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-23 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-23 Pub. Date: 2019-10-23
Image Number: 180022
Caption: I recommend Roscoe's Rib Shack on 47th, Burgerville on G Street, or PudgeBurger on Market. Oh, how I would love to eat there with YOU, Lemont. I'm free today, Sasha. Want to meet there for lunch? Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. I wish I could, Sunshine. I have some thing to do during the day. I am free tonight, though. You could come to my hotel room, like at around 2a.m. If you'd like to. I don't think PudgeBurger delivers at 2a.m. That's not ... Oh, never mind. Tap tap tap t-
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-22 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-22 Pub. Date: 2019-10-22
Image Number: 180021
Caption: Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Lemont? You haven't responded in a while. I know it's my fault. I never wanted to hurt you, Sunshine. But that's exactly why I went away for so many years. I loved you so much that I didn't want you getting caught up in all my drama. My husband Webster blamed you for everything. He said you Put it in my head that he was abusive. I didn't want you getting caught up in all my drama. My horrible divorce ... my custody battle ... Webster putting out a contract on your life ... Are you there? I ... understand why you don't want to respond. Sorry. had to take a potty break. Where were we? Do not scroll up. Tap tap tap t -
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-21 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-21 Pub. Date: 2019-10-21
Image Number: 180007
Caption: Hi Sunshine, I just wanted to let you know I'm all checked in at my hotel I'm excited to be in the same city as you. You are? Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Of course. I just strolled along the waterfront that you once told me about, and ate at the hot dog stand you once described. It made me feel close to you. Like you were walking beside me. That's so sweet, Sasha. it's the same thing my girlfriend told me last time she came to town. That's because you're irresistible, Sunshine. Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girlfriend. And? And? And? Tap tap tap tap tap t-
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-11 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-11 Pub. Date: 2019-10-11
Image Number: 179808
Caption: Facebook Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Lemont? It's been a while. I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of visiting your city. And? Are you saying you'd like to visit me? Are you hoping to rekindle our passionate love affair? Are you going to explain why you told me we'd run away together and be happy and then you DISAPPEARED for years? Well it doesn't matter, because I have a girlfriend. Tap tap tap ta- Delete delete delete. Tap tap tap t- Cool. Have a good time. Thank you.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-17 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-17 Pub. Date: 2019-03-17
Image Number: 176613
Caption: Dear journalist, I am offended by your biased hit-piece condemning so-called Fake News. You wrote … some of these sites main sources seem to be their rear ends. Who are YOU to say what's fake and what's real? I don't know that your sources are any more real than my rear end. I know my rear end. I trust my rear end. you, one the other hand, are a total stranger to me. There's an old saying, doofus: Trust is in the eye of the beholder. That's actually Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Oh, I suppose one of your sources told you that? Sad! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-11 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-11 Pub. Date: 2019-02-11
Image Number: 176281
Caption: Well, look like I've single-handedly brought down our governor with my latest story. What? A source gave me an old video of him from law school, where he's wearing blackface, tap-dancing, eating a giant watermelon, and shouting where the white women at? Before he dons a KKK robe and sets fire to a cross while whistling Dixie through a hollowed-out bucket of fried chicken. The governor replied that he's sorry he didn't realize at the time how offensive that was. I'm going to miss Governor Weasly.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-10 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-10 Pub. Date: 2019-02-10
Image Number: 175946
Caption: Dear Journalist, I read your article about how a bunch of studies show it's certain man is causing climate change, and that that's horrible. And just the next day, I read your article about all the ways we can terraform Mars. YOU'RE SUCH A HYPOCRITE. If man-made climate change it ok on Mars, why isn't it ok here on Earth? Huh? don't even bother replying, I will not read it. Dear Reader, I know you're reading this. Wrong. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-14 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-14 Pub. Date: 2018-09-14
Image Number: 173986
Caption: Whachoo gone an' canceled cable for, bruh? It's too expensive and I didn't watch most of the channels. I can see all my favorite shows on Netflix and Hulu for a fraction of the cost. That's selfish. Think of the ramifications. Think of the cable workers who gonna lose they job if erebody cut cable. Wait ... how did you know I canceled cable? (A) I don't know what you implying. An' (2) I don't even know how to tap somebody line to secretly share they cable.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-22 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-22 Pub. Date: 2018-07-22
Image Number: 172923
Caption: Dear "Critic," I read your article about how Star Trek gets its own impulse drive all wrong. You said that even though Star Trek SAYS it's not faster than light, it HAS to be, because of all the times they said they had to leave the star system before jumping to warp speed. Sigh ... not again ... Impulse drive is not faster than light!!! you're a two-dimensional thinker. Has it occurred to you they could leave a star system by flying UP, out of the ecliptic plane? Moron!!! Dear reader, light passing Jupiter would take 250 minutes to reach Neptune. But in the season finale of Star Trek: Discovery, they start a conversation as they're passing Jupiter, end it ten seconds later as they're passing Neptune ... Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap t - ... at which point the captain says Have we left the Sol system? The navigator says yes, and the captain says Take us to warp ... I rest my case. I was wrong. I was wrong. Just once let someone restore my faith in humanity by just admitting they were wrong. Discovery isn't REAL Star Trek.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-13 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-13 Pub. Date: 2018-06-13
Image Number: 172214
Caption: Armstrong told me to get all our regulars to show up. What for, you miserable dork? Tap tap tap tap tap. I'm not supposed to tell people what a horrible calamity's about to strike. He said not to panic anyone if I care about them … Well played, cretin. I just texted what I told you to the guy who audited me.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-13 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-13 Pub. Date: 2018-05-13
Image Number: 171106
Caption: Dear Jerk … I am offended by your article where you wrote that getting offended is America's new national pastime. I've angrily shown it to all of my friends, after first telling them that what they were about to se was offensive … and each of them agreed with me that it was jut as repugnant as I insisted it was. they all now despise you with a passion, just as I had told them they would before they've ever heard of you. Dear sir or ma'am: I'm not sure your polling methodology is scientifically sound. On behalf of all Americans, I demand an apology, a retraction, and a public flogging. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-04 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-04 Pub. Date: 2018-02-04
Image Number: 167354
Caption: More than 170 million of us might have radium in our tap water, Clyde. Radium. Do you have any idea what this means? What it mean, Big L? Canada or Bust! It means we may be drinking radioactive water. It could cause all sorts of things: anemia, bone cancer, cataracts, fractured teeth, death ... invisibility, super speed, wings, teleportation, mind-reading, laser eyes, crime-fighting, and a spandex-and-cape fetish. I'm just trying to look on the bright side of living in a country where the White House keeps nominating a person who's known for falsifying data to get around water safety regulations to be head of the White House Council of Environmental Quality. I don't drink nothin' but Pepsi, bruh, so I don't care 'bout none of this. I'm gonna have to start working out if I have to wear spandex.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-22 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-22 Pub. Date: 2017-10-22
Image Number: 163428
Caption: Dear "Journalist," your latest article is highly offensive and fake. You attacked those of us who accuse black NFL players of being "ungrateful" when they protest state-sanctioned racism. You said WE were the ungrateful ones. You wrote "You should be grateful to the 'ungrateful black protestors' throughout history, who've always reminded us what this country is supposed to stand for. 'Ungrateful' protestors like Martin Luther King, Jr ... Like Muhammad Ali ... and like Crispus Attucks, the 'ungrateful' black guy whose 'ungrateful' protest in Boston led to him becoming the first man to die in the Revolutionary War." You've totally exaggerated the worth of those so-called "protestors." I'm supposed to think they're heroes just because they got SHOT? First of all, sir, Muhammad Ali never got sh -- Wait ... Donald Trump? Is this you? Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. I like people who weren't shot.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-26 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-26 Pub. Date: 2017-06-26
Image Number: 159708
Caption: Vancouver. Hey cutie, you'll never guess where I am! You'll never guess where I am either, snoogums. But you first. <3 Tap tap tap tap t - I'm in CANDORVILLE! I'm on a book tour. I thought maybe you and your son would like to have dinner after my signing. Tap tap tap t - Terminal B. Of course! ... 'cept I'm in Moscow covering the story of my old college roomie being a Russian spy who's blackmailing Donald Trump. Vancouver. Um ... if you don't want to meet, just say so.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-06 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-06 Pub. Date: 2017-06-06
Image Number: 158826
Caption: To: Rudy Park. From: Lemont Brown. What're you up to these days, Brother Park? That depends. If we're talking the SimCity game I began back when we were in college in '93 … I'm up to 14 linked quad-core RAID devices that take up the whole basement. That's not what I meant. It's costing me a fortune, but I've been playing the same game for so long that I'm pretty sure my 59 billion Sims have become sentient and worship me as a deity. I meant how do you spend your time these days? Working. I've got 59 billion mouths to feed. Tap tap tap tap.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-05 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-05 Pub. Date: 2017-06-05
Image Number: 158825
Caption: To: Lemont Brown. From: UC Berkeley Alumni Association. Hey LB, it's Louis Black. Remember me? We worked at the school paper together. We're putting together a class of '97 Reunion. Hope you can make it. Also, are you in touch with any other '97 grads we should invite? Hi, Louis! I did hear from my college roommate, Kenneth Noh. He called me a couple years ago to invite me to join ISIS with him. Delete delete delete. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. Divided Airlines. Hi, Louis! I am following my other college roommate, Rudy Park, to Russia, where he's meeting with Putin's henchman in order to ... Delete delete delete. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. Divided Airlines. Hi Louis! ... Nah, I don't really know anyone anymore. Send. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-04 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-04 Pub. Date: 2017-06-04
Image Number: 158134
Caption: I've never been in here before. What's your best drink? That'd be the Gambler's Mocha. Sounds interesting. What's in it? Oh … a little of this, a little of that. For all you know, it's a smooth blend of hand-mixed Amedei Porcelana dark chocolate from Tuscany ... and Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee beans, hand-picked by sherpas 5,000 feet above sea level precisely at sunset ... topped with a light whip of frozen Arctic sea foam, and black diamond cream from Dubai ... for all you know ... Or it could be day-old sludge made with tap water from Flint? I thought you said you'd never been here before. Siri, where's the nearest Starbucks?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-11 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-11 Pub. Date: 2016-04-11
Image Number: 141796
Caption: Whachoo gone an' canceled cable for, bruh? It's too expensive and I didn't watch most of the channels. I can see all my favorite shows on Netflix and Hulu for a fraction of the cost. That's selfish. Think of the ramifications. Think of the cable workers who gonna lose they job if erebody cut cable. Wait ... how did you know I canceled cable? (A) I don't know what you implying, an' (2) I don't even know how to tap somebody line to secretly share they cable.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-10 tap 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-10 Pub. Date: 2016-04-10
Image Number: 141191
Caption: Dear Jerk … I am offended by your article where you wrote that "getting offended" is America's new national pastime. I've angrily shown it to all of my friends, after first telling them that what they were about to see was offensive … and each of them agreed with me that it was just as repugnant as I insisted it was. They all now despise you with a passion, just as I had told them they would before they'd ever heard of you. Dear sir or ma'am: I'm not sure your polling methodology is scientifically sound. On behalf of all Americans, I demand an apology, a retraction, and a public flogging. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.
     
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