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Candorville

Comics about talks and talking.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-19 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-19 Pub. Date: 2019-04-19
Image Number: 177224
Caption: Do you think I'm losing it, Susan? No, Lemont. I mean sure, you're not as philosophical as you were when we were kids … and you seem a lot grumpier … and you lose things a lot more … and you tell me stories I've heard before … but it's super premature to worry that you're going senile ... Still, you might want to get checked out. I was talking about my sex appeal.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-14 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-14 Pub. Date: 2019-04-14
Image Number: 177112
Caption: I'm only 5,000 donors short. What? What're you talking about, Clyde? Did you know the Democratic party changed they debate rules, bruh? All a brother need is to be at 1% in the polls, have 65,000 unique donors, an' 200 unique donors per state from at least 20 states. An' did you know there ain't no law at all against changin' your legal name to Bernie Sanderz and settin' up a donate to Bernie Sanderz website? Also, ain't no law against sayin' Buy my new album on iTunes in answer to ever debate question. I've got a strange feeling of deja vu about this. Don't worry. I'm sure I won't actually win.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-09 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-09 Pub. Date: 2019-04-09
Image Number: 177114
Caption: Remember Principal Pervee, from high school? I ran into him the other day. I'd forgotten all about that guy. Didn't he use to walk up behind you and sniff your hair? And didn't he use to rest his hands on your hips when he talked to you? Yeah. He wasn't the only man to do that, so I used to just sort of shrug it off, like it was to be expected. Back then, we didn't really see how wrong it was. Didn't you once accidentally spill a whole bag of sugar into old Pervee's gas tank?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-28 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-28 Pub. Date: 2019-03-28
Image Number: 176942
Caption: Your article about the electoral college was riddled with inaccuracies. You mean my humor column? The electoral college not a for-profit, fake real estate training program started by James and Ivanka Madison to defraud people out of their life savings. It was a joke. And Hollywood actors and rich CEOs did not bribe people to get their spoiled kids into the electoral college. It was a joke. (Sigh) People always get extra-literal when their worldview is challenged. We're talking about my view of the electoral college, not of the world.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-11 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-11 Pub. Date: 2019-03-11
Image Number: 176724
Caption: I agree with Steven Spielberg: If it's made for Netflix, it's not a movie. A movie is something made for a big giant screen in a big giant dark room where you watch it with big giant crowds munching on big giant tubs of popcorn. A movie is something you can loudly talk over to register your opinion with the masses. you almost had me. it's a communal experience.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-09 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-09 Pub. Date: 2019-03-09
Image Number: 176629
Caption: I've been reporting on people for half my life, now, Clyde. You mean snitchin'. What're you talking about? It's totally different. You ain't tellin' on people? Only thing people hate more than the kid who steal a cookie is the tattletale that come runnin' an' smilin' to tell on him. What did you do? Don't change the subject.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-08 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-08 Pub. Date: 2019-03-08
Image Number: 176628
Caption: Daddy, what is six twafficking? Uh … What? Where'd you hear that? You were on the phone talking about six twafficking in Flowida. Oh. Well, you know that you're not supposed to listen to Daddy's door when he's being a journalist. So what's it mean? … It means there are six kings in charge of traffic. Oh.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-03 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-03 Pub. Date: 2019-03-03
Image Number: 176359
Caption: I'll take you back on one condition: No more cheating. Ok. Also, you'd better not even look at another woman. Ok. and you have to give me all your passwords so I can monitor all your social media accounts. Ok. And you have to go to counseling with me and admit how horrible a person you are. And you have to come home straight after work. And you have to get my permission to go anywhere else. And you can't talk to any females other than me or your mother. And you have to let me handle all your finances. And you have to keep quiet when my friends and family treat you like the trash you are for the rest of your life. I thought you said one condition. You life being over is one condition. Not to self: Never, ever, ever say take me back.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-19 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-19 Pub. Date: 2019-02-19
Image Number: 176392
Caption: The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place … That's George Bernard Shaw. Where? That brother across the street? What? … No … What I said … George Bernard Shaw said what I said. He didn't know either? What? What?
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-18 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-18 Pub. Date: 2019-02-18
Image Number: 176391
Caption: I don't get annoyed by other people's odd habits. That's good. I mean, take Cheryl, at yoga. She raises her voice at the end of every single sentence as if she's asking a question. Doesn't annoy me at all. And then there's Dale, at work. He always incorrectly uses a semicolon instead of a comma. I never even give it a second thought ... Live and let live, that's my motto. You've counted them, haven't you. He did it 97 times last month alone.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-04 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-04 Pub. Date: 2019-02-04
Image Number: 176170
Caption: I've seen an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes. What on earth are you talking about, little buddy? I watched more than 80 movies last night on Hulu, for free. Are you talking about trailers? When it shows the beginning, middle and end, it's a movie.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-16 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-16 Pub. Date: 2019-01-16
Image Number: 175842
Caption: I read your article 'bout how it turned out the @#$% that shot that black girl was black, not white. I read the comments under it. It was almost nothin' but white people gleeful about it. They was so busy rubbing it in your face, they forgot they talkin' 'bout the murder of a precious little girl. I don't think I've ever heard you say gleeful before in my whole entire life ... or precious. @#$% ... Them bigots got me all turned 'round.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-15 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-15 Pub. Date: 2019-01-15
Image Number: 175841
Caption: Hah! You race-baiters got owned! I read your article last week about that little black girl who got shot. How embarrassing for you. When the police said the suspect was a white man in a truck, you all wanted to talk about racism. But it turned out the real shooter was a couple of black guys. Now you're talking about guns and gangs, but not one mention of racism. It's normal to chance your focus when you get new facts. Ha! You flip-flopper. Bet you wish you hadn't made such a big deal out of a little girl getting shot.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-12 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-12 Pub. Date: 2019-01-12
Image Number: 175741
Caption: This country's overrun with people who hate talking about racism more than they hate racism itself. I wrote an article about a breaking story. I called it White Man in a Pickup Truck Shoots into Black Family's Car, Kills Seven-Year-Old. Hundreds of people replied Why do you have to bring race into it? Bet they came up with all kinds of excuses. On of them said Some pickup-truck drivers just really don't like cars.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-31 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-31 Pub. Date: 2018-12-31
Image Number: 175656
Caption: This year's been awful. Babies in concentration camps … journalists under attack … school shootings … Dr. Noodle. What right do I have to be upset about my own personal problems when all that's going on? I'll repeat the question: You and your girlfriend haven't visited each other in over a year. What do you think that means? How can you talk about that when we have only twelve years to stop climate change? Very interesting. M.A.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-24 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-24 Pub. Date: 2018-12-24
Image Number: 175584
Caption: Hey mister, is Santa Claus real? Sorry, kid … I'm not supposed to talk about it. It's a rule. I'm supposed to tell you you have to ask your parents. It's rule 547,983 in the handbook they give you when you become a grownup. But YOU would know better than them. I know an elf when I see one. Santa Claus is a lie.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-09 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-09 Pub. Date: 2018-12-09
Image Number: 175062
Caption: I feel like I'm always the last one to know, doc. Dr. Noodle. Back in high school, I was in a band called Foss. I showed up expecting it to be a grunge thing. I said Hey, how come I'm the only one in flannel? How come no one else is wearing Doc Martens? Where are your goatees? Turned out it was a punk band. Anyway, fast forward to 2018: I run into a couple of the guys and we start to reminisce. I asked What ever happened to Beto? Turns out he became a politician. They all knew it. I was the last to know. Again. It's like I'm the universe's afterthought. You're talking about Beto O'Rourke? The one who just ran for Senate? Yeah. How'd he do? When's he get sworn in?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-29 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-29 Pub. Date: 2018-11-29
Image Number: 175157
Caption: Did you catch the Ask Sadie Show? They were talking about immortality. You're interrupting today's How to be an Alpha lesson, little buddy. They said that in just 30 years, we'll be able to transfer our minds to a server, shoot it into deep space where the cold will help the hard drive to survive for eons, and live in a virtual. But what if we've already done that? What if it's like the Matrix, or like Elon Musk's theories, and nothing we see is really real? What if right now, we're in a hard drive orbiting Ur ... As I was saying ... Alphas don't tell Uranus jokes.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-20 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-20 Pub. Date: 2018-11-20
Image Number: 175064
Caption: 1982. Do you ever get claustrophobic, Lemont? What's claustrophobic? I think it's the fear of tight spaces. It's why mama won't fly, or ride the bus, or ride in a car. She walks everywhere. That makes no sense. That should be tight-space-a-phobic. Claustrophobic should mean something else, like a fear of bear claws. Or a fear of Santa Claus. We should make up our own language. What kind of word is language? It should be talkuage.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-17 talk 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-17 Pub. Date: 2018-11-17
Image Number: 174940
Caption: I was on the bus the other day, an' two dudes got to talking 'bout bein' 5150'd. One of them said 5150 is when the police haul you in 'cause you a danger to yourself, but 5250 is when you a danger to others. Other dude said Nah, 5250 just mean they get to lock you up in a hospital longer. First dude called second one started throwin' hands. Second dude turned out to be right. The bus cop who arrested him said No, this ain't no 5250, this here a 242, I'm thinking of a getting a car.
     
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