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Candorville

Comics about steals and stealing.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-09 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-09 Pub. Date: 2019-03-09
Image Number: 176629
Caption: I've been reporting on people for half my life, now, Clyde. You mean snitchin'. What're you talking about? It's totally different. You ain't tellin' on people? Only thing people hate more than the kid who steal a cookie is the tattletale that come runnin' an' smilin' to tell on him. What did you do? Don't change the subject.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-15 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-15 Pub. Date: 2018-09-15
Image Number: 173987
Caption: Can I share your fries, Clyde? Oh, so now you wanna share. Where was you when I wanted to share your cable tv line? … Or your wifi? Or your Netflix password? Or your social security number? You somehow got all that anyway. I got that one my own, Big L. That's the problem with America today: Erebody want erethang just handed to them.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-14 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-14 Pub. Date: 2018-09-14
Image Number: 173986
Caption: Whachoo gone an' canceled cable for, bruh? It's too expensive and I didn't watch most of the channels. I can see all my favorite shows on Netflix and Hulu for a fraction of the cost. That's selfish. Think of the ramifications. Think of the cable workers who gonna lose they job if erebody cut cable. Wait ... how did you know I canceled cable? (A) I don't know what you implying. An' (2) I don't even know how to tap somebody line to secretly share they cable.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-16 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-16 Pub. Date: 2018-08-16
Image Number: 173502
Caption: America betrayed its Japanese citizens. Stole their homes. Shipped them at gunpoint to concentration camps. Demeaned them. Dehumanized them. Declared them aliens. Abused them … but when I interviewed five-year-old George, he was … ok. Not happy, but … ok. His dad had told him it was all part of their vacation. Wait ... back up ... you're saying you snuck into an air duct here in Candorville ... and climbed out of it in an internment camp in Arkansas in the year 1942? That's not important right now. Important part is, kids can be ok with anything ... as long as they've got mom and dad there to lie to them.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-05 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-05 Pub. Date: 2018-08-05
Image Number: 173086
Caption: Am I the crazy one, doc? All day long all I hear from the news is Russia stole the election. Dr. Noodle. Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia! Russia didn't purse hundreds of thousands of voters in key states … The Republican crosscheck programs did that. Russian didn't challenge the voter registrations of thousands of black people and students all over the place. Vote-caging did that. Russian didn't throw out millions of provisional ballots. America did that. And America doesn't seem to have a problem with any of that. I thought you said you didn't even vote ... because they didn't let me! OMG, why didn't you hear that part?! I know I added that part ... or did I? ... I don't even know anymore.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-16 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-16 Pub. Date: 2018-01-16
Image Number: 167356
Caption: I've considered what you said, about how every story, change only occurs after an interlude. But those are stories, Rosencrantz, not real life. In real life, the biggest changes often occur randomly and unexpectedly. There usually is no calm before the storm. We often jarringly shift from one storm to the next. And unlike with fictional characters, the actions of real people often don't make sense. I still demand to know why you took my shoe. (Originally published on 2015-12-29).
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-16 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-16 Pub. Date: 2017-10-16
Image Number: 163902
Caption: Do you have any idea how many mass shootings we've had in America this year? In just the first 75 days of the year, we had 273 mass shootings. That's almost one per day. There are more mass shootings than there are days in the baseball season. You know what that means, don't you? It mean mass shootings is America new national pastime. Stop stealing my lines.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-08 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-08 Pub. Date: 2017-10-08
Image Number: 162900
Caption: Big L, you seen a doctor yet 'bout that heart attack you had? I didn't have a "heart attack," Clyde. All I had was pain in my arm, between my shoulder blades, in my chest, jaw and upper abdomen. Plus I was dizzy, fatigues and had heartburn. That could've been anything. And anyway, I took care of it myself. I started biking, gave up red meat, etc ... just in case. Anyway, I don't have health insurance. I earn too much for Medicaid and too little pay the Obamacare premiums. I got a solution for you, bruh ... Ok ... As long as it doesn't involve identity theft, Fake IDs and possible jail time. Hm ... well, then I got a different solution for you ... As long as it doesn't involve sneaking into another country. Well ... then I got a different solution ...
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-27 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-27 Pub. Date: 2017-09-27
Image Number: 163099
Caption: Guess what daddy heard on the radio today, son? I heard that an English settler named Clarence Hornswaggler stole the recipe for popcorn from Native Americans. It was an early example of cultural appropriation, and we don't encourage that sort of thing in this house. I thtill want popcorn fow dinnew. (Sigh), ok, let's try this: No popcorn for dinner because I said so.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-03 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-03 Pub. Date: 2017-08-03
Image Number: 161033
Caption: Big L, your checkin' account be overdrawn. Really? Thanks for … wait, how do you know I'm overdrawn? You might wanna warn a brotha next time. That !@#$ was embarrassin'. I had to put back all my groceries. I knew a decoy account was a good idea.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-21 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-21 Pub. Date: 2017-07-21
Image Number: 160505
Caption: She had dinner with Randy "The Rock" Taylor, the 6-foot-5 former football player. Uh-oh … The guy who writes "MANuals," the best-selling series of advice books for me. Is he dwelling on it? The guy who gave a Ted Talk on "The Art of Hot Lovin'." I hope he's not dwelling on it. The guy who wrote "How to Steal a Woman's Heart: For Dummies." He's probably not dwelling on it.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-11 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-11 Pub. Date: 2017-05-11
Image Number: 157810
Caption: How was I supposed to know it was innocent? You asked me to "hold something" for you. Never in the history of man has that turned out well for the person who's said "ok." Yeah, well Big Oatmeal an' the rest of the boys found it in my closet. All I could think of to save my rep was to say "I sell them things for $5 at the playground." I'm still not helping you break into "Big Oatmeal's" house to steal back you old Teddy Ruxpin. You ain't no real friend.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-24 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-24 Pub. Date: 2017-02-24
Image Number: 154805
Caption: Lemont? Where've you been all day? I was waiting for you at lunch and you never showed up. I couldn't. After I dropped Lionel off at day care, everything went wrong. Someone had snatched my wallet, so I had to walk 20 blocks to get home. But my keys were missing, so I tried to climb in the fire escape. That's when I got arrested. Didn't they give you one phone call? I used it to call a lawyer. Forgive me for being so selfish. I waited a whole hour, Lemont.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-23 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-23 Pub. Date: 2017-01-23
Image Number: 153701
Caption: I sense the tides have shifted, Rosencrantz. The pendulum has reversed its swing. A page has been turned. A new character has entered stage left. And nothing will ever, ever be the same. The tale has been sent down a fateful path, which ends either in exaltation or oblivion, we know not which. Oh ... wait ... perchance I just have gas. Served you right for stealing my week-old sandwich.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-27 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-27 Pub. Date: 2016-12-27
Image Number: 152625
Caption: No, momma, I don't think you should get a reverse mortgage. Why? Well, you know Steve Mnuchin, the guy Donald Trump appointed Treasury Secretary? The bank he ran used to convince old people to get reverse mortgages, then they foreclosed on a lot of those houses for the tiniest of reasons. They foreclosed on one home for an unpaid bill of 27 cents. Yes, I know Magnum P.I. said it's not a scam to steal your house. But if they have to SAY that ... (Sigh) ... Yes, momma, I know how you love Magnum P.I.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-23 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-23 Pub. Date: 2016-07-23
Image Number: 146144
Caption: But I just wanna show you a magic trick. No. All I need is your favorite color and your first pet's name. No. I'm not giving you anything that'll help you guess my passwords. Ok. Then jus' gimme the name of your favorite high school teacher. Good talk, Clyde.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-22 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-22 Pub. Date: 2016-07-22
Image Number: 146143
Caption: Two years ago. There's a video showing Michael Brown stealing something and bullying a shopkeeper. That's absolute proof he was just a thug who needed to be put down. Two weeks ago. So what if there's video of cops seeming to shoot people unnecessarily? You can't tell anything from a video. What?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-24 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-24 Pub. Date: 2016-05-24
Image Number: 143638
Caption: I don't know why fools be keepin' useless junk from long ago. What the point of that is? How often you gonna open that box in your garage to look at the apple you finger-painted when you was four? They ain't no future generations gonna enshrine your third-grade diary in the Smithsonian. Ain't nobody gonna care 'bout no package Amazon delivered to your doorstep last week. I said give me back my package!
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-05 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-05 Pub. Date: 2016-05-05
Image Number: 142721
Caption: I'm sorry my check bounced last week, doc. That was because some Nigerian scammers stole my bank account. Dr. Noodle. I see. And how did that make you feel? Angry, I guess. Angry at them? Or angry at yourself for letting your gullibility impact not only your life, but the lives of people to whom you owe money? I thought these sessions were supposed to be about MY feelings. They are. Let's explore how inconveniencing your therapist makes you feel.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-19 steal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-19 Pub. Date: 2016-04-19
Image Number: 142113
Caption: What's wrong? I'm ruined. When the Pulitzer board called yesterday to tell me I'd won this year's Pulitzer Prize for snarky criticism, Clyde answered, accused them of running a scam, and hung up. I cussed Clyde out. I called them back at the number they called me from, and apologized profusely. They asked me a bunch of questions to prove I was really me. So you got your Pulitzer Prize?! I got my bank account stolen by someone in Nigeria!
     
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