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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  Next  (231 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-19 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-19 Pub. Date: 2019-06-19
Image Number: 178162
Caption: I read the President's going to start keeping migrant kids at Fort Sill … one of the concentration camps where we kept Japanese Americans during World War II. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. Santayana. It's one of the most-repeated quotes ever ... which means all of mankind probably needs to see a ... what do you call a memory-doctor? I forget.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-15 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-15 Pub. Date: 2019-06-15
Image Number: 178025
Caption: I've totally forgotten why I ever started coming here. Dr. Noodle. I guess that means I'm cured, right? I mean, whatever it was, it must not be bothering me anymore. M.A. Actually, it's more likely you've repressed the memory. Stored it away where it can't hurt you ... or so you think. But don't worry, with an extra session per week, we can tackle this setback together. I'm going to miss you, Doc.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-13 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-13 Pub. Date: 2019-05-13
Image Number: 177620
Caption: Did you see the new Sandra Bland video? The police found it on her phone two months after she died and hid it for four years. I still can't believe that cop flipped out on her like that after stopping her for a turn signal. It's just not safe for us out there. Happen all the time, Big L. That's why I started that GoFundMe. Black people aren't going to give you money to build escape-catapult seats for our cars. Already got 52,000 orders.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-28 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-28 Pub. Date: 2019-03-28
Image Number: 176942
Caption: Your article about the electoral college was riddled with inaccuracies. You mean my humor column? The electoral college not a for-profit, fake real estate training program started by James and Ivanka Madison to defraud people out of their life savings. It was a joke. And Hollywood actors and rich CEOs did not bribe people to get their spoiled kids into the electoral college. It was a joke. (Sigh) People always get extra-literal when their worldview is challenged. We're talking about my view of the electoral college, not of the world.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-04 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-04 Pub. Date: 2019-03-04
Image Number: 176624
Caption: So, how was your day? How come you haven't asked me how my day went? It's a long story. I'll start from the beginning. Dios mio. This is why you're still single, Lemont. What? What'd I do?
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-30 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-30 Pub. Date: 2019-01-30
Image Number: 176033
Caption: Yesterday at work, I said Aristotle was a moron. Someone over heard me. They told a co-worker, who told another … By the end of the day, the office was bitterly divided into a pro-Aristotle and anti-Aristotle camps. Aristotle was wrong about everything. He though men were superior to women and masters were superior to slaves. He was wrong about physics, about chemistry, about biology, about psychology, about astronomy, and about social justice. As if our country wasn't divided enough, you had to mess around and start this. I'm not sure I can even respect the pro-Aristotle people anymore.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-09 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-09 Pub. Date: 2018-12-09
Image Number: 175062
Caption: I feel like I'm always the last one to know, doc. Dr. Noodle. Back in high school, I was in a band called Foss. I showed up expecting it to be a grunge thing. I said Hey, how come I'm the only one in flannel? How come no one else is wearing Doc Martens? Where are your goatees? Turned out it was a punk band. Anyway, fast forward to 2018: I run into a couple of the guys and we start to reminisce. I asked What ever happened to Beto? Turns out he became a politician. They all knew it. I was the last to know. Again. It's like I'm the universe's afterthought. You're talking about Beto O'Rourke? The one who just ran for Senate? Yeah. How'd he do? When's he get sworn in?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-08 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-08 Pub. Date: 2018-12-08
Image Number: 175267
Caption: I'd really like it if just once I could enjoy the holidays. On Christmas, when we celebrate the birth of Christ, I can't help but be angry that Emperor Augustus deported the Bethlehemians. On Easter, when people celebrate the resurrection, I can't help but mourn all the people Rome crucified. Bethlehemians? Don't even get me started on Kwanzaa.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-18 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-18 Pub. Date: 2018-11-18
Image Number: 174714
Caption: It all started when I was a tiny kid. My grandpa made me get up on stage at the family reunion and sing. Dr. Noodle. He'd really built me up. Told everyone how great a singer I was. But when I looked out at the crowd of 200 or 300 people who were strangers to me ... I froze. The room was completely quiet and I saw 200 or 300 sets of eyes staring at me. Burrowing into my soul and holding me in contempt. I forgot all the words. I started to cry. And then I wet myself. The first step toward overcoming shyness is crawling out from beneath my couch. Never!!!
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-17 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-17 Pub. Date: 2018-11-17
Image Number: 174940
Caption: I was on the bus the other day, an' two dudes got to talking 'bout bein' 5150'd. One of them said 5150 is when the police haul you in 'cause you a danger to yourself, but 5250 is when you a danger to others. Other dude said Nah, 5250 just mean they get to lock you up in a hospital longer. First dude called second one started throwin' hands. Second dude turned out to be right. The bus cop who arrested him said No, this ain't no 5250, this here a 242, I'm thinking of a getting a car.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-22 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-22 Pub. Date: 2018-10-22
Image Number: 174600
Caption: They're purging voters in how many states? Way more than you'd think. As soon as the Republican Supreme Court ok'd it … every state with a history of discrimination at the polls started purging voters way more than usual. Those states purged millions of voters just before the 2016 election. It disproportionately impacted minorities. But I'm sure that part was just coincidence. I hate sarcasm Mondays.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-25 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-25 Pub. Date: 2018-09-25
Image Number: 174192
Caption: This just in: Astronomers discover and earthlike planet orbiting the nearest start, Prozima Centauri … click … Some are starting to question whether there's proof President Trump's grandfather immigrated from Germany. He could have come from anywhere. Click ... Proxima Centauri is just 4.24 light years away. In cosmic terms that's right next door. This side up.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-19 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-19 Pub. Date: 2018-08-19
Image Number: 173372
Caption: It all started when … hired me to … they flew me to … to meet the CEO. Dr. Noodle. I was so excited. I'd never been to … before. They took me to a reception for their biggest clients. There was wine and cheese and an awesome … best I've ever … That's when they brought out the 900-pound ... and the albatross. They all started ... around them. They stripped off all their clothes, and beneath them they were all wearing robes made of actual living ... Look, there's abiding by a nondisclosure agreement, and then there's paranoia. I think they may have bugged my ...
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-29 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-29 Pub. Date: 2018-07-29
Image Number: 172924
Caption: What's your worst fear, Lemont? Easy. Vacuum decay. As you probably know … The Higgs Field that holds the entire universe together could collapse at any moment. If at any point in reality, a tiny part of the Higgs Field slipped from its high-energy state to its lowest one, it would start an entropic cascade. It would collapse the entire Higgs Field. A bubble would expand at the speed of light obliterating the laws of physics within its growing sphere. Galaxies, stars, planets, you, me, goldfish ... All of our atoms would be instantly blasted apart. And get this: It may have already happened. Since it only grows at the speed of light, we'll have no warning at all ... I'm also afraid of the dentist. If I can't sleep tonight it's totally your fault.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-22 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-22 Pub. Date: 2018-07-22
Image Number: 172923
Caption: Dear "Critic," I read your article about how Star Trek gets its own impulse drive all wrong. You said that even though Star Trek SAYS it's not faster than light, it HAS to be, because of all the times they said they had to leave the star system before jumping to warp speed. Sigh ... not again ... Impulse drive is not faster than light!!! you're a two-dimensional thinker. Has it occurred to you they could leave a star system by flying UP, out of the ecliptic plane? Moron!!! Dear reader, light passing Jupiter would take 250 minutes to reach Neptune. But in the season finale of Star Trek: Discovery, they start a conversation as they're passing Jupiter, end it ten seconds later as they're passing Neptune ... Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap t - ... at which point the captain says Have we left the Sol system? The navigator says yes, and the captain says Take us to warp ... I rest my case. I was wrong. I was wrong. Just once let someone restore my faith in humanity by just admitting they were wrong. Discovery isn't REAL Star Trek.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-20 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-20 Pub. Date: 2018-07-20
Image Number: 172929
Caption: Wait, hold that thought. Guess what happened to me at work today, Lemont … Hey … I was just getting to the really strange part. I know. I just need a break to process what you've already told me. I'm starting to think that actually means I'd rather talk about me. Let me process that too.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-18 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-18 Pub. Date: 2018-07-18
Image Number: 172927
Caption: Lemont Brown. Journalist. I'd like to see the conditions inside the internment camp and I'd like to interview the refugees. No, no, no, and no. What? What? I only asked you for two things but you said no four times. You didn't ask if I'd confirm that we black out the windows so the world can't see us mistreating refugees? And you didn't ask if I could confirm that we've been secretly whisking them away in the dead of night to parts unknown? No ... is this all starting to weigh on your conscience? No ... and no.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-06 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-06 Pub. Date: 2018-07-06
Image Number: 172691
Caption: Sadie Cohen blew me off, Clyde. She never showed up. That's your problem right there. You aware of @#$%. You shoulda blew her off first. Then you wouldn't even know 'bout it. Dios mio. Everyone's starting to do business like Trump. I started a business etiquette university. Enrollment is $2.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-01 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172353
Caption: I'm not happy. I think I married the wrong person. Dr. Noodle. But I can't leave. Leaving is too hard. I mean, we've got all the same friends. They'd hate me. And she's got complete control of the bank accounts. What would I do for money? But maybe I could just start all over. Who needs any of that stuff? There's a whole world out there. Maybe it's not too late to explore the world, wrestle and alligator, move to Jamaica, change my name, and meet the woman I was really meant to be with. Sometimes it actually is too late. Zzzzzzzz.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-10 start 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-10 Pub. Date: 2018-06-10
Image Number: 171944
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jiddury? Social anxiety. That's what Google says it is, anyway. But Google's no doctor. I thought it'd be better to get the opinion of a professional. I see, well, why don't we start the diagnosis by having you hang up your phone, get out of your car and come inside? No, that's ok. I'm good here. You have a lovely parking lot. I've got donuts in here. No, that's ok, I'm good. I've got cracker crumbs on the floor.
     
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