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Candorville

Comics about sounds and sounding.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-12-05 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-12-05 Pub. Date: 2019-12-05
Image Number: 180644
Caption: Hello? Hi. Do you repair new old computers? What? Well … My beloved old iMac G4 dies years ago. So I bought a new iMac and paid a kid to tear out its guts and shove them into my old G4's body. You know, kind of like if you had an old friend who passes away, so you dressed your new friend in his clothes. I'm feeling very uncomfortable. It's making a weird screaming sound.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-29 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-29 Pub. Date: 2019-10-29
Image Number: 180103
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? A lot of my readers have turned one me. All because I wrote an article called The New McCarthyism about how Democrats took legit intelligence about Russian interfering in our elections … and went way too far with it. Now, one Democrat will accuse another Democrat of being a Russian bot if that Democrat even mildly critiques a Democrat that Democrat likes. You sound like a Russian bot. That's what my readers said.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-09 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-09 Pub. Date: 2019-09-09
Image Number: 179394
Caption: Well, you seem to be in perfect health, Mr. Dogg. You sure, !@#$*? I got the blood rushin' 'round. I got the palpitations. I got the exact opposite of ennui an' disinterest, an' I ain't sure, !@#$*, but I think I lost my well-honed apathy 'bout the future. It sounds like you're just experiencing excitement. Gasp!
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-02 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-02 Pub. Date: 2019-04-02
Image Number: 177041
Caption: What's wrong? Facebook. Over 2 million people have "liked" my site's Facebook page. That sounds awesome!!! Right? Two million people want to read my posts! But Facebook only shows my posts to about twelve of them. And whenever I post, it says it'll show it up to three more if I pay $18. I'm going to buy lots of Facebook stock. Now it offers to show my posts to people for $23.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-13 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-13 Pub. Date: 2019-01-13
Image Number: 175590
Caption: I'm doing well in my latest Surveymonkey poll. I run polls on all my social media accounts every time I make an important decision. Like when I decide which socks to wear … which movie to stream … which cereal to eat … Today I chose Lucky Charms. A solid choice. 49% of my followers felt that was proof of sound breakfast judgment. Wait ... Doesn't that mean 51% thought it wasn't? Taking a poll is science. Reporting the results is an art. A whopping 32% felt that my sticking with an un-PC breakfast choice showed I was bold enough to be president. You just ate what everyone wished they could eat.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-13 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-13 Pub. Date: 2018-12-13
Image Number: 175378
Caption: Come on … You can't blame me for losing the Nat King Cole lawsuit. You're the one who sampled his voice without permission for your album. You're the on who begged me to pretend I was a voice actor you'd hired to impersonate Nat King Cole. It wasn't my idea! I tried to lip sync to that testimony you recorded for me using his voice. I really tried! When you lip sync, ain't no sound s'posed to come out your mouth, fool. You ain't s'posed to harmonize with the recording. I got nervous.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-12 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-12 Pub. Date: 2018-12-12
Image Number: 175377
Caption: Member how I watch your boy for you? Well, I need a favor too right quick. You want me to watch your pet pigeon? Nah, bruh … I want you to testify that you a voice actor I hired to sound like Nat King Cole, 'cause Nat King Cole people suing me for sampling him in my album. I'll watch your pigeon. All you gotta do is up sync to the testimony I recorded for you usin' Nat King Cole voice.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-09 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-09 Pub. Date: 2018-11-09
Image Number: 174824
Caption: Do you ever feel, Rosencrantz, as if we're bearing witness to the nation's end? … as if we're sitting beside the hospital bed of an old, grizzled friend … who's about to breathe his final breath? That feeling would be ominous. I don't do ominous. That sounds ominous.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-24 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-24 Pub. Date: 2018-08-24
Image Number: 173658
Caption: After I'd gracefully climbed down from the air duct, I jumped right back into action … I'm a trained investigative journalist. And while I may be mumblety three years old, I've got the stamina of a man twice my age. I summoned all my skills to finally track down one of the refugee children the President had kidnapped from his parents. Mama! Sounds like they trained you very well in journalism school. Not much gets past me. Will humor you for $.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-23 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-23 Pub. Date: 2018-08-23
Image Number: 173657
Caption: I couldn't see. The air ducts surrounding me were a void. But there was something … a whimper, up ahead. Mama … Mama … I inched toward the sound. That's when I felt a … a presence. Behind me, in the distance. My feet grew cold, as if something … dead were breathing on them. Mama! I reached the vent just in time and calmly climbed through it. Calmly don't sound like you, bruh. Who's telling this story.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-10 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-10 Pub. Date: 2018-07-10
Image Number: 172713
Caption: Meanwhie, refugees from Canardville are making the most of it. Boss, I got your memo about these refugee blankets. Good. How many of them have we sold? None. We don't own them, Armstrong. WE can't sell what we don't own. Have I taught you nothing? A good businessman sells what he owns. A great businessman sells what he doesn't yet own and uses the loot to either buy it or flee to Cameroon. That doesn't sound right. Fine - Russia then.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-04 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-04 Pub. Date: 2018-07-04
Image Number: 172689
Caption: "What, to the American slave, is your fourth of July? I answer: A day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless." - Frederick Douglass. "Where's my beer?" John Q. Public.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-06 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-06 Pub. Date: 2018-06-06
Image Number: 172070
Caption: I heard a loud, mysterious boom last night, Tyrone. As have people all over the world, Rosencrantz. Earthquakes where there should be none. Loud booms of unascertained origin. The masses are beginning to wonder if something is wrong with the earth itself. Or ... it could be that when you thought me asleep, you donned ballet shoes, crept to the middle of the alley and began twirling and dancing and accidentally leapt a grand jete into the dumpster ... it could've been that. What a man does in an alley, stays in the alley.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-13 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-13 Pub. Date: 2018-05-13
Image Number: 171106
Caption: Dear Jerk … I am offended by your article where you wrote that getting offended is America's new national pastime. I've angrily shown it to all of my friends, after first telling them that what they were about to se was offensive … and each of them agreed with me that it was jut as repugnant as I insisted it was. they all now despise you with a passion, just as I had told them they would before they've ever heard of you. Dear sir or ma'am: I'm not sure your polling methodology is scientifically sound. On behalf of all Americans, I demand an apology, a retraction, and a public flogging. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-18 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-18 Pub. Date: 2018-04-18
Image Number: 170576
Caption: I demand the right to fire Dick Fink, sir. He's incompetent, he's a snake, and I'm pretty sure he's the one who put that family of skunks in my desk. I'm still not sure I buy the skunks, Garcia … which reminds me, did you ever complete that course on personal hygiene? Don't change the subject. Dick Fink wants my job, sir. He's been trying to ruin me ... for year. I'm not imagining this. I know ... I sound paranoid. But that's all part of his secret plan. Take the rest of the day off, Garcia. 2002.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-07 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-07 Pub. Date: 2018-04-07
Image Number: 170153
Caption: You know a good way to tell your friend his breath remind you of barnyard animals? My breath is just fine, Clyde. You sound defensive, bruh. Of course, I do. You said something about me that isn't true, so I'm defending myself. That's what's wrong with America: Every time an innocent person defends himself, people say that's proof he's guilty. There you go again with your defense-tivity. Your breath must be worse than I though. I'm going to quit while I'm behind.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-10 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-10 Pub. Date: 2018-03-10
Image Number: 169168
Caption: … so he tried to sneak out a note that said please help me, but I caught him. Excuse me … I couldn't help but overhear. A note can't say anything. As awkward as it may sound, the correct word isn't said, it's read. What would you like your tombstones to read? Perfect!
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-11 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-11 Pub. Date: 2018-02-11
Image Number: 167702
Caption: Told you fellers Trump would make America great ag'n. He weren't lyin', neither. At&T gave out bonuses. Sure they laid off a buncha folks at the same time, but twasn't none of them me, so that don't count. Wal-Mart gave a buncha workers raises … An' they laid off a buncha folks at Sam's Club at the same time, but twasn't none of them me, go that don't count. MAGA. Over a hundred companies are givin' out one-time $1000 bonuses an' sayin' it's 'cause of the billions of dollars in tax cuts they got. During the last gilded age, the robber barons sometimes handed out pocket change to the poor. They were placating the masses who wanted to break up their huge, unscrupulous, slave-wage-paying corporations. Sounds like fake hist'ry to me. Just saying, $1000 isn't much to pay for pitchfork insurance. We eat the poor.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-14 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-14 Pub. Date: 2017-11-14
Image Number: 164871
Caption: I miss Vancouver, Susan. When I'm not with her, it's like I can't breathe. It's like I can barely see color. I can barely feel anything. The taste of my food barely registers. It's as if all the sounds I hear are a pale echo of what they once were. Do you think that means she's the one? I think it means you need health insurance.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-01 sound 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-01 Pub. Date: 2017-10-01
Image Number: 162685
Caption: I just finished reading Hillary Clinton's book, "What Had Happened Was … " Sound like a good book, bruh. I thought so. But you know, the real title was supposed to be "What Happened." So I figured I was just seeing things. But then I notices something. Whachoo noticed, Big L? All the other books on my bookshelf had unfamiliar titles too. I noticed my old copy of "1984" was not called "2017." "Deliverance" was not called "They Shoulda Stayed They Butts at Home." the book I thought was called "To Kill a Mockingbird" was not called "Black Man's Tragedy as a Growth Experience for a Little White Girl." Do you happen to have Photoshop, a printer and too much time on your hands? Must be that "Mandela Effect" think you always be talkin' 'bout. Give me back my old bookcovers.
     
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