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Candorville

Comics about sons.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-06 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-06 Pub. Date: 2019-04-06
Image Number: 177047
Caption: My baby boys' really into trains. So I bought a train bed, hand-painted in the colors of his favorite steam train. I ordered a handmade train quilt for it and got him train conductor pajamas. By the time it all arrived, he was really into monster trucks. So I sent it all back and ordered a bunch of airplane stuff. Wait - you did what? I'm getting ahead of the curve. He's not going to fool me again.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-29 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-29 Pub. Date: 2019-03-29
Image Number: 176943
Caption: My boy asked me to sing him some nursery rhymes last night. So I sang him Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Mary had a Little Lamb. Then he demanded more, but I just … blanked. I suddenly couldn't remember any. So I sang him Purple Rain to the tune of Mary had a Little Lamb. You ain't never been good under pressure, dawg. Then he asked me what weekend lover meant, so I had to pretend I'd fallen asleep.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-14 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-14 Pub. Date: 2019-03-14
Image Number: 176727
Caption: Well, you look down, Lemont. What's wrong? What could possibly be wrong? Today, the White House revoked my press credentials for asking one too many questions about Jared's security clearance … and the Democratic party revoked my press credentials for asking one too many questions about the whole Israel issue ... and Dizzyland revoked my season pass because of that expose I wrote about their horrible hourly pay. I still can't believe so many of their Ricky Mouses and Ronald Ducks are homeless.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-12 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-12 Pub. Date: 2019-03-12
Image Number: 176725
Caption: My son asked me what my favorite number is. I thought Who has a favorite number? Then I remembered, I did. When I was a kid, I loved the number eight, because it reminded me of infinity. Nuh-uh, Big L. You tol' me you loved it 'cause it was the only number that reminded you of food. You sure? i remember being a much more profound kid.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-06 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-06 Pub. Date: 2019-03-06
Image Number: 176626
Caption: Son, Daddy has an important interview tomorrow. I need you to stop jumping. Ok. What do you mean ok? You're still jumping. I did stop jumping. What you see happening wight now is cawwed bouncing. And you let him get away with that? It's important to encourage any skills that could lead to being a lawyer.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-01 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-01 Pub. Date: 2019-03-01
Image Number: 176501
Caption: Whachoomean you want me to bring kale burgers to the barbecue?! I promised my son I wouldn't eat cows anymore. He said it's not right to eat anything with parents. Tell him it's ok, 'cause Uncle Clyde ate that cow' parents yesterday. Sigh … I'll get the kale.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-27 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-27 Pub. Date: 2019-02-27
Image Number: 176499
Caption: We had burglars last night. Little Lionel asked Why do you eat red meat all the time, daddy? I replied. I don't eat it all the time, son. And he said Oh … Why not? I replied Because that'd be bad for me. Why? he asked. So I said Too much causes high cholesterol and increases my risk of heart disease, diabetes, and maybe even cancer. Dios mio, Lemont. Once he stopped sobbing, he tried to dig the burger out of my mouth.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-26 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-26 Pub. Date: 2019-02-26
Image Number: 176498
Caption: My baby boy asked me what I was eating. So I told him short ribs. He asked What are short ribs? So I said red meat. He asked Why is it red meat when it's brown? So I said Because when you cook red meat, it undergoes a chemical reaction that browns it. It's called the Maillard Reaction. So he said Why does a duck help you cook your meat? My theory is that children are just messing with us. So I said Maillard not Mallard.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-20 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-20 Pub. Date: 2019-02-20
Image Number: 176393
Caption: To roll how you roll when erebody want you to roll different … that's everything … Ralph Waldo Emer's son said that. That's now what Emerson said. It is too. Emer's son tol' me that hisself back in second grade. Wow. You were into Emerson back in second grade. Huh? Nah, bruh. We was just friends. What? What?
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-30 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-30 Pub. Date: 2018-11-30
Image Number: 175158
Caption: What brings you to therapy today, Lemont? Ever since I had what most certainly was not a heart attack … I've realized I'm going to die one day. I'm worried about what that'll do to my son. M.A. I see. There comes a time when every person becomes aware of his or her own mortality. The key is to make sure you've prepared your son to pay your final therapy bill. What's the other key?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-04 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-04 Pub. Date: 2018-11-04
Image Number: 174599
Caption: You can barely see any stars now, son. But when I was your age, I knew old people who say a sky full of stars when they were your age. No way.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-02 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-02 Pub. Date: 2018-11-02
Image Number: 174719
Caption: Was the foster family child protective services put you with nice to you, son? Yes! We aw got the watch the Amewican fwag on tv, and we got to pwedge awegiance to Donawd Twump. You meant that the other way around, right? … right? I leawned to shoot a Kawashnikov and a wocket wauncher.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-01 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-01 Pub. Date: 2018-11-01
Image Number: 174718
Caption: I'll tell you one thing, Susan, this is not the country I thought it was. When we were kids, I thought all the bad, unfair, horrible things were all in the past. I thought Martin Luther King, Jr., the Beatles, Muhammad Ali and Mr. Rogers came along and made it all better. I want my son to have the same tragically wrong illusions. It makes for a happy childhood. I still don't think you should cryogenically freeze him and they him out when all the crazy stops. I'm just researching whether it's possible. I haven't decided.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-31 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-31 Pub. Date: 2018-10-31
Image Number: 174717
Caption: Now that my son's in the child protective services system, I have to be extra careful. But I'm still a journalist, Susan. We have ways to get the truth out. I mean, yes, I killed my story about the county suppressing minority voters. And yes, I ran a puff piece about the local bunny farm instead. But I trust my readers are bright enough to pick up on the secret code I used in the bunny farm story. Replace every time I wrote bunny with voter, and every time I wrote fluffy with disenfranchised, and ... Dios mio.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-30 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-30 Pub. Date: 2018-10-30
Image Number: 174716
Caption: I was reporting on an instance of voter suppression when the county took my son. They said I was endangering him. When I asked why, they said no you're being belligerent. When I suggested they were trying to discourage the press from covering their dirty tricks, they said I was exhibiting signs of paranoia. When I said I was going to write a story about this, they accused me of threatening them. Is that why you ran a story about the local bunny farm instead of the one about voter suppression? I got my son back. That's all that matters.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-29 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-29 Pub. Date: 2018-10-29
Image Number: 174715
Caption: This is child protective services, how may we hinder you? Hi, I had my son strapped to my back while I was working. I was reporting on how early voting was going. We were on a bus with a bunch of elderly black people who were on their way to vote, and they were all ordered to get off. I interviewed county officials about why they did that. Explain to me how that's child endangerment! The child was in danger of losing faith in his system of government. Give me back my son!!
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-24 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-24 Pub. Date: 2018-10-24
Image Number: 174602
Caption: Sorry, Lemont, I can't watch your son for you for two whole weeks. Have a Lego allergy. Oh … wait, a what? No? Well, I mean I have an appendectomy scheduled. No, you don't. You just don't want to watch your best friend's son while your best friend is away covering the voter disenfranchisement in all those states. Children terrify you. Admit it. Are you calling me a liar? You had your appendix out in second grade. It grew back.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-16 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-16 Pub. Date: 2018-10-16
Image Number: 174492
Caption: Rudy Park, my college roommate, sent me an evite to the grand opening of his new café. The zoning board declined to comment. So I filed a Freedom of Information Act request. Turns out the building was rezoned in the dead of night to permit a café, just hours after a huge payment from sources unknown landed in the zoning commissioner's 3-year-old son's savings account. Should I write the expose before I give Rudy a cafe-warming gift ... or after? Remind me never to send you and evite. What's the etiquette?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-11 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-11 Pub. Date: 2018-10-11
Image Number: 174390
Caption: Hello, Tara: I just want to say … I love my son more than life itself. My love will always be with him, no matter what happens. I've lived a long life. Seen many things. Gone many places. I have to regrets. By the way, I'm having a major medical procedure done tomorrow. But if my son doesn't call me before then, no big deal. I just don't want HIM to have regrets. (Hopefully I don't accidentally send this text to him, totally by mistake.) (Sigh) Better call Momma. People have been known to die from tooth-cleaning. Just saying.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-27 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-27 Pub. Date: 2018-09-27
Image Number: 174194
Caption: I think my son's ready to learn a sport. Whachoo gon' teach him, Lemont? You gon' teach him to bounce the ball off his foot an' chase after it 'fore it go in the street? Or you gon' teach him to get the ball swatted out his hand when he try to shoot? Or you gon' teach him to miss the rim an' the backboard altogether? None of that has ever happened. In the same game. You gon' teach him to make his one an' only shot in the wrong basket?
     
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