I have a two-year-old. How do I make sure he never chooses to fight in our country's endless war? C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice. $2. What's that? I wrote your boy a prescription. "Take one six-pack of coke, a bag of Doritos an' a Happy Meal daily." Army fatigues don't come in XXXXL. He'll get diabetes by 18. All treatments have side effects.