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Candorville

Comics about senators.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-25 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-25 Pub. Date: 2018-11-25
Image Number: 174819
Caption: This is the Hallmark Channel. Tonight on the Andy Griffith Show, little Opie Taylor gets … recruited into the Nazi party, only here on the History Channel. But first, Ancient Aliens … were easily confirmed for lifetime appointments to the federal courts. Fox News reports that most senators ... were totally rubber stamps! ... You've been watching Top Ten Favorite Office Supplies. If you like our content, do all the Youtube things: Like, share, and ... set fire to the Reichstag, giving Hitler an excuse to demand almost-unlimited emergency powers. Despite the evidence, he blamed it on a devious liberal conspiracy to subvert ... Gilligan, Mary Ann, and the Skipper, too.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-03 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-03 Pub. Date: 2018-09-03
Image Number: 173879
Caption: I been thinkin' 'bout John McCain, bruh. How the whole country got together to worship him when he died. When he got captured, he tool it like nobody else alive prolly coulda taken it. Can't take that away from him. But he was wrong about a lot. He supported wars, invasions an' arms sales that got a lot of people slaughtered ... but then, so did America. An' that's why people love him. 'Cause if he still cool, that mean the rest of us still cool too. I think it was because of his sense of humor.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-27 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-27 Pub. Date: 2017-10-27
Image Number: 164151
Caption: I wish I could visit the alternate universe were the Kennedy brothers had never been assassinated. In that universe, we never escalated in Vietnam, Nixon was never president, we never ended the Apollo program … I was born on the moon, Carter and Reagan were never presidents, so Iran never turned out to be what it is and we never helped create all these terrorists ... and "Chappelle's Show" never went off the air. You really need to let that go, Lemont.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-25 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-25 Pub. Date: 2017-09-25
Image Number: 163097
Caption: Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my entire life being a journalist. Why bother? History just repeats itself anyway. Dr. Noodle. I just started reading a political memoir I heard about on the radio this morning. M.A. The Democrat James M. Cox wrote it after he lost the election of 1920 to Harding. It's called "That Which Occurred." He also blamed his loss on Bernie Sanders. I hope I can be as sharp as Bernie at his age.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-08 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-08 Pub. Date: 2017-08-08
Image Number: 161292
Caption: Looks like the Affordable Care Act is here to stay. That's right … sucker. What? Everyone know the ACA was a Republican idea. We came up with it as an alternative to single-payer health care. We knew the only way to make the left embrace it was for the right to attack it. You hate us so much that if we attack it, you cling to it like it's your dear old momma. We even let it be "saved" at the last minute, just to seal your love affair with it. Yeah, right. Like this was all part of some "master plan." McCain hammed it up a little at the end, but it was a nice touch.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-06 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-06 Pub. Date: 2017-08-06
Image Number: 160565
Caption: Your latest article was a little confusing, Lemont. What's confusing about my having solved Fermi's paradox? I've single-handedly explained how the universe could be filled with civilization, even though we've seen no evidence them. Did you know there's a possibility our universe exists within a black hole? ... and every black hole in our universe may contain an entire universe of its own? I've heard that. And did you know that people ultimately just can't stand those who are different from them? Don't you see, Susan? There is no paradox. When a civilization advances far enough, it doesn't fly to other stars. It thinks much bigger. It creates a black hole and vanishes into it so it can have a whole universe to itself. They could shape it and write its natural laws however they want. The Berniezoidians could have a whole universe full of single-payer healthcare, ... and the Trumpmagans could have a whole universe full of no undocumented immigrants. Oh. I was just confused about the part where you wrote "The Trumpmagans still insist Mexico will pay for the event horizon."
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-09 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-09 Pub. Date: 2017-07-09
Image Number: 159502
Caption: It's hard to debunk the whole "fake news" thing when so-called "journalists" keep lying, or keep not correcting their "mistakes" take Joy-Ann Reid, for instance. Who she? She has a show on MSNBC. The other week, after that former Bernie-supporter shot at those congressmen ... somebody tweeted "too soon to mention Bernie owes his entire political career to the NRA? Particularly his support of assault rifles his R opponent decried?" "Journalist" Joy-Ann Reid retweeted that, adding "I hope we have the maturity as a country to confront facts like this at the same time we're thinking of victims and keeping level heads." But it wasn't a fact. Sanders opposed assault rifles. The NRA backed him in that one race to punish the Republican who'd just changed his position on assault rifles. A Vermont gun store owner said at the time, "At least [Bernie's] consistent" with his opposition to semi-automatic rifles. A simple Google search would've told her that, apparently Joy-Ann Reid doesn't even Joy-Ann read. This whole thing was so you could say that joke, wasn't it.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-19 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-19 Pub. Date: 2017-06-19
Image Number: 159388
Caption: Breaking news! The White House is urging Russia to intervene in the North Pole's civil war to secure the release of hostages held by elfin rebels. Click … Canadian homeowners are urged to check for bunny holes before mowing their laws, after a gruesome ... Click. After seven male senators in a row interrupted the witness' answers, Senator McCain scolded Sen. Kamala Harris for doing the exact same thing. Click. Gilligaaaan ... the Skipper tooooooo.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-05 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-05 Pub. Date: 2017-04-05
Image Number: 156467
Caption: I'm heading to DC to report on the Democratic party's filibuster against that judge Trump's appointed to the stolen Supreme Court seat. And then I'm going to cover how they all boldly signed on to Bernie Sanders' Medicare-for-All bill. Wait … are you being sarcastic? Then I'm going to cover their stunning refusal to accept any more Wall Street bribes.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-28 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-28 Pub. Date: 2016-06-28
Image Number: 145229
Caption: You've reached Senator Marionette's office. To ask a question, press or say "one" now. "One." If your question is "where do I send a campaign donation," press or say "one" now. If your question is about why I block all attempts at gun control even after enormous massacres, please hang up now. Not falling for it.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-20 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-20 Pub. Date: 2016-03-20
Image Number: 140250
Caption: President Trump's State of the Union Address: My fellow Americans, the state of the union is unbelievable. It's yuge! They said it would be small, it's yuge, believe me. One guy down here isn't applauding, and the cameras probably showed him. They didn't show the tons of people who clapped, they probably showed this one incompetent loser down here. Anyway ... They keep talking about this $500 billion deficit with China. They're winning and crying, boo-hoo, boo-hoo, like a bunch of weak little babies. Well this deficit is going away. You wanna know why? Because it's not gonna happen. We'll talk about that later. But first, we have to talk about this lightweight senator in the third row. Look at him. He's a nervous basket case. He looks like a weak little clown. And we're about to knock out ISIS, you know how? Like Truman. Patton. I'm going to pick up the phone, and forget about it, they're gone. Hey, loser, wake up. You're supposed to clap for that. What a clown. Click.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-20 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-20 Pub. Date: 2015-08-20
Image Number: 131277
Caption: I'd hate to be Bill if Bernie takes the nomination away from Hillary. How do you comfort your spouse when she gets trounced by obscure guys who came out of nowhere … Twice? She's grown. She'd get over it. He'd have to make sure he never said the words "tortoise" or "hare" again.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-03 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-03 Pub. Date: 2015-08-03
Image Number: 130583
Caption: I don't understand why Bernie Sanders isn't polling better among minorities, Clyde. He's our best ally in the race. He's fought against mass incarceration and mandatory minimum sentences for decades. He wants undergraduate education to be free to students, like K-12. He's strong on voting rights ... Yeh, but bruh ... the man name is "Bernie." That's like Bert an' Ernie put together. A muppet don't have no business askin' for my vote. I can't believe your vote counts as much as mine.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-08 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-08 Pub. Date: 2014-04-08
Image Number: 109840
Caption: Daddy, why don’t you cawe about me? What? When you thend me to day cawe, you let them give me govewment thubthidited lunches. "Government subsidized lunches"? Yeth. It dethtwoyth my thole. "Destroys your soul"? You're not allowed to watch Republican senators on YouTube anymore. Why you wanna dethtwoy my thole, daddy?
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-28 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-28 Pub. Date: 2013-08-28
Image Number: 100803
Caption: Tonight's top story: Tea party Favorite, Republican Senator Ted Cruz, Was Born In A Foreign Country. Republicans point out that since his mom was American, he's still a "natural-born citizen," eligible to run for president. They Also apologize for all that censored "birther" stuff they dragged us all though. In unrelated news, you're dreaming right now.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-05 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-05 Pub. Date: 2011-08-05
Image Number: 63975
Caption: It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, out of the swirling black clouds above, a freak lightning storm! I ducked into Groceryville to escape certain electrocution. Unfortunately, so did all the people who'd snuck out of the adjacent fat camp. The place was crowded. ... Except, obviously, for the produce aisle. Mr. Brown, all I asked was, "how did you allegedly meet Roxanne?" I'd have taken my chances in the snack aisle, if I'd known the pure, unadulterated evil - and the high prices - that were lying in store for me in produce.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-04 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-04 Pub. Date: 2011-08-04
Image Number: 63974
Caption: So how did your testimony go? Mr. Braun, is it not true that you were in a sanitarium for two weeks spouting nonsense and you're unfit to be a father. "Mr. Braun"? Um … my evil ex's lawyer didn't know who he was messing with. I'm sorry, it's "Brown," not "Braun." ... Sir. I sure set him straight. Yay, Lemont!!!
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-19 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-19 Pub. Date: 2011-06-19
Image Number: 62129
Caption: On today's Sunday Morning Political Show, we discuss the extension of the Patriot Act. Here to discuss this President Obama from 2011. Thanks, Tom. The Patriot Act helps us spy on terrorists in the USA, helping us thwart vague threats I won't bother to tell you about. Renewing it was just plain right. Our next guest: Senator Obama from 2005. Hello, Tom. This legislation puts government above the law. Warrantless searches ... No right to appeal ... This is just plain wrong. Tom, me from 2005 I naive and a threat to national security. Tom, me from 2011 is a power-mad tyrant.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-05-27 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-05-27 Pub. Date: 2010-05-27
Image Number: 47784
Caption: Senator Murkowski, why are you blocking Congress' attempt to increase Behemoth Oil's financial liability for this catastrophic spill? The law already permits unlimited damages. Anyone affected by the spill can sue Behemoth … … go up against Behemoth's star team of lawyers for the next twenty years, run out of money to keep going, and eventually grow old and die before they can recover a penny. That last part was off the record. You kinda have to call that beforehand.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-01 senator 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-01 Pub. Date: 2009-05-01
Image Number: 32000
Caption: The comic strip industry doesn't need a bailout, Senator. The problem is a lack of vision, not a lack of money. Newspaper comics are stale and boring. The real bold and innovative stuff's online. Skull. T. Brahe. Really? How do you differ from print comics? Well, we can censored censored censored censored censored and censored censored censored censored whenever we get the urge. If newspaper cartoons emulated us, readers would censored to them. What the-- all the said was "flock."
     
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