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Candorville

Comics about selling out.

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Result page:    2  Next  (36 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-07 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-07 Pub. Date: 2019-11-07
Image Number: 180266
Caption: How old was that microwave oven you sold me, anyway? Why? Well, when I heated up my midnight Hot Pocket, I stood before the unit staring into its window, as I'm wont to do. When it dinged, I tool out my savory snack, fastened my bib, and turned around to find that my shadow had been burned into the wall. it might be a little old. I want my $5 back, with interest.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-06 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-06 Pub. Date: 2019-11-06
Image Number: 180253
Caption: All children go through a crisis when they first realize their parents aren't perfect. Tell me about it. Dr. Noodle. After Lionel calmed down, I convinced him I wasn't purposely trying to kill the neighbor by selling him a microwave that might cause cancer ... or at least I thought I did. That night, flashing lights and a siren woke me from a deep slumber. I looked out the window and saw the police and the coroner were at the neighbor's apartment. It's a good idea to hide the phone for the duration of the crisis. Scribble scrib- Lionel later told me he'd called anonymously, using the name Daniel Tiger, so I wouldn't get locked up. He's so smart.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-05 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-05 Pub. Date: 2019-11-05
Image Number: 180233
Caption: When my little boy got home from day care and found out I'd sold the microwave, he started sobbing. He asked who bought it. I said A neighbor. He whimpered and blubbered But I don't want the neighbor to have it! I want us to have it! … I tried to make him feel better by telling him it's best not to have one anyway, because all microwaves leak radiation and that can cause cancer ... and that's when you son accused you of trying to murder your neighbor? I never realized how horrible a person I was until my son started asking questions.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-06 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-06 Pub. Date: 2019-09-06
Image Number: 179298
Caption: I had a horrible day, bruh. 'Member how you gave a speech at a high school the other day? 'Member how you threw up on them kids? I been tryna sell bootleg DVDs of it the past couple of days. Ain't nobody buyin'. E'ry last one of them kids had recorded it an' already posted it to Instagram ... for free! I'm sorry you had such a bad day. Internet be lettin' amateurs run us professionals out of business.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-27 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-27 Pub. Date: 2019-07-27
Image Number: 178674
Caption: Boss, I've got a new idea. I think it'll double - no, triple - our sales. Not again. No, hear me out. This one's great. You know how we've been trying to figure out a way to keep customers from going to Coffee King? Yes. We've paid sweatshops in Foreignvania to post negative Yelp reviews ... We've planted rats in their kitchen ... and we've besmirched their name in many ways. Well here's my idea: Why don't we try serving better coffee than them? Where's the fun in that.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-27 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-27 Pub. Date: 2019-04-27
Image Number: 177328
Caption: C-Dog, I'm worried the stock market will crash. Should I old or sell? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice 50¢. I get that question all the time. Here what you do: Pull out all your money … an' take it down to the alley between 42 an' 43 Vernon Street. Ask for Big Oatmeal, he offer alternative investments that give you better odds. E'rethang from dice, to dominoes, to chicken fights. Chicken fights? It's important to diversify.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-09 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-09 Pub. Date: 2018-06-09
Image Number: 172073
Caption: What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-18 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-18 Pub. Date: 2018-02-18
Image Number: 167988
Caption: When I was a youth, I dreamt of becoming a gangsta rapper who'd someday go legit and found a major record label and sell it for billions to Apple. Dr. Noodle. I never did it, though. I didn't know that career path was really possible. But then Dr. Dre came along and he did it. That's an awfully specific dream you had. And then there was my Russian dream. I always dreamt of striking out in real estate, then catching the eye of Russian mobsters and foreign banks who'd bail me out if I agreed to launder tons of loot for them ... and then maybe I'd run for high office so I could repay the bank by giving it a waiter exempting it from paying some huge fine, and maybe be able to use my office to repay the mafia somehow too. Y'know ... sometimes when we're jealous, we rewrite history and actually believe I thought of that first. Oh, no, I've been laundering money for year - wait, this whole thing is confidential, right?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-06 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-06 Pub. Date: 2018-02-06
Image Number: 168181
Caption: I wrote an article about how people are purchasing followers for their social media accounts. There are bot factories that grab selfies we post to social media, along with out names and email addresses … and they use all our info to create and sell these fake follower accounts. A lot of famous people with millions of followers actually bought most of them. Did you write that 'cause President Trump mocked you for only having 20,000 Twitter followers? Totally unrelated.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-21 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-21 Pub. Date: 2017-09-21
Image Number: 162851
Caption: How old was that microwave oven you sold me, anyway? Why? Well, when I heated up my midnight Hot Pocket, I stood before the unit staring into its window, as I'm wont to do. When it dinged, I took out my savory snack, fastened my bib, and turned around to find that my shadow had been burned into the wall. It might be a little old. I want my $5 back, with interest.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-20 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-20 Pub. Date: 2017-09-20
Image Number: 162850
Caption: All children go through a crisis when they first realize their parents aren't perfect. Tell me about it. Dr. Noodle. After Lionel calmed down, I convinced him I wasn't purposely trying to kill the neighbor by selling him a microwave that might cause cancer ... or at least I thought I did. That night, flashing lights and a siren woke me from a deep slumber. I looked out the window ad say the police and the coroner were at the neighbor's apartment. It's a good idea to hide the phone for the duration of the crisis. Scribble scrib - Lionel later told be he'd called anonymously, using the name "Daniel Tiger," so I wouldn't get locked up. He's so smart.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-19 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-19 Pub. Date: 2017-09-19
Image Number: 162849
Caption: When my little boy got home from day care and found out I'd sold the microwave, he started sobbing. Dr. Noodle. He asked who bought it. I said "a neighbor." He whimpered and blubbered "But I don't want the neighbor to have it! I want us to have it!" M.A ... I tried to make him feel better by telling him it's best not to have one anyway, because all microwaves leak radiation and that can cause cancer ... and that's when your son accused you of trying to murder your neighbor? I never realized how horrible a person I was until my son started asking questions.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-22 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-22 Pub. Date: 2017-07-22
Image Number: 160506
Caption: You know why most political comic strips are leftist? Tell me. Sponsorship. There's no product-placement allowed. So there's no financial incentive to sell out to the big corporations. So political strips are free to talk about how Mansanto loves us. How big pharma over-loves us. How the oil industry is loves us, etc. Because one of those corporate friends can advertise in comic strips. But they advertise in newspapers, right? Doesn't matter. Editors and publishers don't ever read the comics.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-11 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-11 Pub. Date: 2017-05-11
Image Number: 157810
Caption: How was I supposed to know it was innocent? You asked me to "hold something" for you. Never in the history of man has that turned out well for the person who's said "ok." Yeah, well Big Oatmeal an' the rest of the boys found it in my closet. All I could think of to save my rep was to say "I sell them things for $5 at the playground." I'm still not helping you break into "Big Oatmeal's" house to steal back you old Teddy Ruxpin. You ain't no real friend.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-30 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-30 Pub. Date: 2017-04-30
Image Number: 156792
Caption: What brings you to therapy … "Steve"? I feel like everything is slipping out of my clutches. Dr. Noodle. I spent years cozying up to the boss, isolating him from the advice of others, stoking his paranoia. I subtly convinced him that everyone was against him and that he could trust no one but me and his family, and even they were a little fishy. I had him in the palm of my hand. I said "buy," he bought. I said "sell," he sold. I said "destroy," and he ruined the lives of the people I said were his enemies. I was the most powerful man in the world! I was the man behind the throne! Did I say I charge $100 an hour? I meant to say $1,000. But then I made the mistake of turning off his tv in the middle of Finding Dory. It's his favorite movie.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-30 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-30 Pub. Date: 2017-03-30
Image Number: 156200
Caption: I'm coming out with a new book, Clyde. It's called "I Have Over 1,000 Facebook Friends and Only 50 of Them Bought My Latest Book … I have 257,000 Twitter Followers, and Only 5,000 of Them Bought My Latest Book … and I Have One Allegedly Close Friend Sitting Right Next to Me and He's Never Bought Any of My Books." That's 'cause you titles be way too long, bruh. Colorblind Ed.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-01 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-01 Pub. Date: 2016-11-01
Image Number: 150472
Caption: C-Dog, my stocks haven't appreciated in years. Should I hold or sell? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice 50¢. I get that question all the time. Here what you do: Pull out all your money … an' take it down to the alley between 42 an' 43 Vernon Street. Ask for "Big Oatmeal," he offer alternative investments that give you better odds. E'rethang from dice, to dominoes, to chicken fights. Chicken fights? It's important to diversify.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-10 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-10 Pub. Date: 2015-12-10
Image Number: 136222
Caption: I took your advice. I'm going on a double date next week. Susan and her allegedly perfect man vs. me and my lady friend from Vancouver. Yeh this gon' turn out real well. Did you just hear what you said, Big L? That guy can't be perfect. Vancouver is perfect. There can be only one perfect. I'ma sell tickets to this.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-03 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-03 Pub. Date: 2015-12-03
Image Number: 135926
Caption: We never talk about the finer things. Who's your favorite artist, Clyde? That'd be "Big Oatmeal," down by the car wash. Brutha be spray-paintin' all over them t-shirts he sell. The art he be spittin' would take a brutha's breath away. No, I mean out of all of history's great artists which one's your favorite? The one who could paint my momma picture on a t-shirt for $4.95.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-27 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-27 Pub. Date: 2015-10-27
Image Number: 134383
Caption: I tried to buy tickets to "Star Wars" online as soon as they were available, but they were already sold out. I grew up playing video games. I had the first Atari. The first Playstation. I had the fastest thumb on the block. But if "Star Wars" sold out before I could complete my order and hit "purchase," that means I'm ... I'm ... A geek? It means I'm getting old! My thumb is past its prime.
     
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