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Candorville

Comics about secrets.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-20 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-20 Pub. Date: 2019-05-20
Image Number: 177706
Caption: Sunset gets later and later every day, little buddy. So what? So, sunset happens later in the day. That means I can accomplish a lot more before smooching hour. I can run an extra ten miles. I can chop an extra cord firewood. I can catch an extra school of fish. I can prepare for my date my mining an extra nugget of lip balm from my secret lip balm quarry. I can download 30 extra books I'll never read.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-07 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-07 Pub. Date: 2019-01-07
Image Number: 175736
Caption: What's the best way to ask my boss for a promotion? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice $2. You say you got other options, so she better hook you up right quick or you out the door. That's the same advice you gave me about asking women out. Here's the secret 'bout life: Every relationship be the same relationship.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-31 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-31 Pub. Date: 2018-10-31
Image Number: 174717
Caption: Now that my son's in the child protective services system, I have to be extra careful. But I'm still a journalist, Susan. We have ways to get the truth out. I mean, yes, I killed my story about the county suppressing minority voters. And yes, I ran a puff piece about the local bunny farm instead. But I trust my readers are bright enough to pick up on the secret code I used in the bunny farm story. Replace every time I wrote bunny with voter, and every time I wrote fluffy with disenfranchised, and ... Dios mio.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-17 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-17 Pub. Date: 2018-09-17
Image Number: 174072
Caption: What ever happened to that book you was writing? I don't want to talk about it, Clyde. Nineteen months of secret interviews, rigorous fact-checking, dozens of clandestine 2a.m. meetings in a parking garage with over 25 deep throats … and just before my book comes out, fifteen dozen other books come out with the same !@#$ information. Run for Your Lives! An inside look at the kookiest White House in history got shelved. I ain't sure I don't want to talk about it mean what you think it mean, bruh.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-12 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-12 Pub. Date: 2018-08-12
Image Number: 173270
Caption: Hi, Mr. Dogg. My name's Sidious Darkmoney. I'm urging you to call your representative and demand they pass H.R. 666 … also known as the Patriot Love Bunny Kitten Sunshine Act. What that act about, bruh? Silence, swine! I -- … um, I mean its about love of country, kittens, bunnies and sunshine ... all of which would benefit from the extermination of bunnies, the brutal slaughter of kittens, and the total deregulation of all toxic pollutants that blot out sunlight. Who you say you with again? Silence, swine! ... um, I mean ... I'm with the our-government-stooges-decided-we-don't-have-to-tell-you-who-we-are association. Wait ... ain't you the dude who called me last week to inform me the election been postponed?
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-18 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-18 Pub. Date: 2018-07-18
Image Number: 172927
Caption: Lemont Brown. Journalist. I'd like to see the conditions inside the internment camp and I'd like to interview the refugees. No, no, no, and no. What? What? I only asked you for two things but you said no four times. You didn't ask if I'd confirm that we black out the windows so the world can't see us mistreating refugees? And you didn't ask if I could confirm that we've been secretly whisking them away in the dead of night to parts unknown? No ... is this all starting to weigh on your conscience? No ... and no.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-16 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-16 Pub. Date: 2018-07-16
Image Number: 172925
Caption: You think my latest story's going to get me in trouble? Candorville.com. Exclusive! Journalist who may or may not be me breaks into Mayor Thump's top-secret refugee prison, exposes horrid conditions. Nah, I think you'll be fine. Cops pulled me over three times today. Coincidence. I was on skates.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-18 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-18 Pub. Date: 2018-06-18
Image Number: 172354
Caption: What ever happened with the Canardville refugees? What? I thought you were covering that story. I was. But at the last second I had to fly to Singapore to cover the summit between the President and North Korea's leader. You know they had a private meeting before the public one? Sometimes I can't believe this is my life, Susan. I was just the shy kid from the wrong side of the tracks. Now I'm the guy hiding in potted plants reporting on the secret meeting between two powerful leaders. Wait ... what? I never in a million years thought I'd be in Singapore.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-09 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-09 Pub. Date: 2018-05-09
Image Number: 171291
Caption: This is NASA. If you're calling to ask why we abruptly canceled our lunar rover mission, press 1. Otherwise, press 2. Boop. If you're a normal human, press 2. Otherwise, press 1. Boop. We have done as you commanded. We won't go anywhere near the polar region. Please accept our apology. Please?? Oh. Wait ... my bad. I thought I'd be pressing 2. If you're a normal human who mistakenly pressed 1, please stay right where you are. Can't we just pretend I pressed 2.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-18 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-18 Pub. Date: 2018-04-18
Image Number: 170576
Caption: I demand the right to fire Dick Fink, sir. He's incompetent, he's a snake, and I'm pretty sure he's the one who put that family of skunks in my desk. I'm still not sure I buy the skunks, Garcia … which reminds me, did you ever complete that course on personal hygiene? Don't change the subject. Dick Fink wants my job, sir. He's been trying to ruin me ... for year. I'm not imagining this. I know ... I sound paranoid. But that's all part of his secret plan. Take the rest of the day off, Garcia. 2002.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-17 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-17 Pub. Date: 2018-04-17
Image Number: 170575
Caption: My assistant, Dick Fink, somehow removed all the glass from my windows and I nearly plummeted to my death. I need to fire him, sir. Don't you think you're being just a tiny bit hysterical, Garcia? You're not sure it was him. And the man has a family to support. Whatever it is, work it out. Does he have something on you, Mr. Fitzhugh? You're always protecting him. Does he know some dirty secret? Of course not. By the way, totally unrelated ... let's whisper when we discuss Fink, ... just for kicks. Yayle. CEO of the Year.2002.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-20 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-20 Pub. Date: 2017-02-20
Image Number: 154801
Caption: Well, you look down, Lemont. What's wrong? What could possibly be wrong? Today, the White House revoked my press credentials for asking one too many questions about their secret ties to Russia … and the Democratic party revoked my press credentials for asking one too many times why they're still using the same loser strategists ... and my baby boy revoked my dad credentials for turning off "Octonauts" one too many times. We all have bad days.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-19 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-19 Pub. Date: 2017-02-19
Image Number: 154023
Caption: What brings you back to therapy? I have a tough time figuring out whom to trust. I read on Facebook that Hillary Clinton was part of a secret group that baked little kittens into pies. And I believed it. But then I read on my Twitter that Facebook was full of fake news, so I believed that and stopped believing the kitten pie story. Then someone at my wife's work sent me an anonymous email telling me she was cheating on me, and I believed it. But then she told me not to worry because the guys she takes weekly business trips with is gay ... and I believed it. I think I have some horrible disorder where I believe whatever the last person told me. I don't think so. Me neither.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-09 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-09 Pub. Date: 2016-03-09
Image Number: 140180
Caption: I demand the right to fire Dick Fink, sir. He's incompetent, he's a snake, and I'm pretty sure he's the one who put that family of skunks in my desk. I'm still not sure I buy the skunks, Garcia … which reminds me, did you ever complete that course on personal hygiene? Don't change the subject. Dick Fink wants my job, sir. He's been trying to ruin me ... for years. I'm not imagining this. I know ... I sound paranoid. But that's all part of his secret plan. Take the rest of the day off, Garcia.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-08 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-08 Pub. Date: 2016-03-08
Image Number: 140179
Caption: My assistant, Dick Fink, somehow removed all the glass from my windows and I nearly plummeted to my death. I need to fire him, sir. Don't you think you're being just a tiny bit hysterical, Garcia? You're not sure it was him. And the man has a family to support. Whatever it is, work it out. Does he have something on you, Mr. Fitzhugh? You're always protecting him. Does he know some dirty secret? Of course not. By the way, totally unrelated ... let's whisper when we discuss Fink ... just for kicks. Yayle. CEO of the Year 2002.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-10 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-10 Pub. Date: 2016-02-10
Image Number: 138873
Caption: Y'know what the thing be about Youtube, Big L? If you upload secret video you took of the worst double date in history, you can get 7 million views in just a few hours. But if you drop a music video you been workin' on for weeks, you get just a fraction of that. You recorded me on my date?! You uploaded it to Youtube?! We talkin' about my music video now. You've ruined my life, Clyde. Erethang ain't always about you, bruh.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-18 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-18 Pub. Date: 2016-01-18
Image Number: 137944
Caption: Hi stranger … nice day out, isn't it? The eagle has landed. What? … Hey, you aren't meeting up with someone to do something shady, are you? Sounds like you're usin' code words or something. You can do better with your life, young man. That ain't even close to "The fat man walk alone." (Sigh) ... If you don't like talking to strangers, just say so. So.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-20 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-20 Pub. Date: 2015-06-20
Image Number: 128381
Caption: Dear person who keeps calling the wrong number, you've reached the same wrong number once again. I can't come to the phone 'cause I'm busy having a secret affair with the person you're trying to reach, or tying them up, or impersonating them, or stealing their phone, or whatever paranoid nonsense has you thinking I'm lying about this being the wrong number. Please call back a couple more times and ask me if I'm "sure" I'm not someone who's not me. Beep.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-10 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-10 Pub. Date: 2015-06-10
Image Number: 128069
Caption: What do you think of The X-Files coming back, Clyde? You gonna watch it? Nah, bruh, there was a time an' place for that spit, an' this ain't it no more. Back then, trenchcoats was cool. That was before Columbine. Back then, secret government conspiracies was just fiction. That was before Edward Snowman. Back then, you had a high-top fade and parachute pants. Now you ain't got no hair an' you make regular pants look like parachute pants. I've only gained 30 pounds!
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-30 secret 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-30 Pub. Date: 2015-05-30
Image Number: 127505
Caption: I got so angry at "The Flash" the other day. Flash went to the super-villain Captain Cold for help. Dr. Noodle. And Captain Cold knew he was Barry Allen. In fact, everyone on the whole show knows his secret identity. Ph.D. I kind of flipped out when I realized that. Why'd I even care? You were jealous. All those people knowing his true identity reminded you you have very few close friends who know the real you. Shut up. You don't know me.
     
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