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The Sarcasm Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

These are available for you to license for books, magazines, newsletters, presentations and websites.
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1.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-30 Pub. Date: 2014-06-30
Image Number: 113183
Caption: You know our country has only been around for 238 years. And in that time, we've been involved in 66 wars. That's an average of one war every 3.6 years. Now, I know what you're going to say, a lot of those, like Panama and Grenada, weren't technically "wars." It's not technically a "war" unless it gets a statue. Sorry, I don't think "sarcasm Monday" will catch on. Who says only the government can make up holidays?
     
2.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-20 Pub. Date: 2014-06-20
Image Number: 112733
Caption: Ever thought of getting a dog? Good idea. I've always wished I had a furry thing trying to steal my food. And you know what my brand new couch needs? Something that'll pee on it. You know what'd really make my day complete? Wandering the streets twice a day looking at a butt at the end of a rope. (This cartoon was originally published on 5/11/2012).
     
3.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-08 Pub. Date: 2014-06-08
Image Number: 111628
Caption: I've switched to e-books but nature has yet to thank me. Thank you for using something that takes 33 pounds of minerals to make. Thank you for increasing energy consumption. Thank you for using something that'll someday seep toxins into the ground water while decomposing in landfills. Nobody likes a sarcastic tree.
     
4.  
Cartoonist(s): John Hambrock
Comic/Cartoon: The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee
Viewable Date: 2014-05-22 Pub. Date: 2014-05-22
Image Number: 111336
Caption: Go ahead, grandpa, dazzle her with your smile. Oh, you Adonis of a man, I find that dazzling smile of your irresistible. Really? Another of my great sarcastic remarks wasted. With apologies to Todd Clark.
     
5.  
Cartoonist(s): Rina Piccolo
Comic/Cartoon: Tina's Groove
Viewable Date: 2014-05-02 Pub. Date: 2014-05-02
Image Number: 110551
Caption: Mail Delivery Subsystem. Delivery Status Notification: The sarcasm in your email to the following recipients failed permanently Ö This is why we call it the communication era, and not the comprehension era Ö
     
6.  
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2014-04-27 Pub. Date: 2014-04-27
Image Number: 109865
Caption: Oh, good. You got the "maximum relief" aspirin. I'm tired of that "minimum relief" stuff. Eye drops for "sensitive eyes"? Aren't ALL eyes sensitive? What's this? "provides liquid hydration!" Well, that's gotta be better than solid hydration. Ah! "healthy nutrition" and "wholesome goodness." Tow of my favorite meaningless phrases! Uh-oh. You got "ultra soothing" shave creme. I really don't need to be soothed more than just "super." Wait ... "super" is less than "ultra," right? Or is it more than "extra," but less than "plus"? Do you want to do the shopping from now on? No. I just like to provide the post-shopping commentary. "Kills bugs dead!" Okaaay ...
     
7.  
Cartoonist(s): Rick Kirkman
Jerry Scott
Comic/Cartoon: Baby Blues
Viewable Date: 2014-04-17 Pub. Date: 2014-04-17
Image Number: 109814
Caption: Mom, can we get a real baby chick for Easter? Sure, I love chicken poop. She said "yes"! Hammie, she was being sarcastic. I knew that! Now, what should I name my chick? How about "Clueless"?
     
8.  
Cartoonist(s): Rick Kirkman
Jerry Scott
Comic/Cartoon: Baby Blues
Viewable Date: 2014-03-16 Pub. Date: 2014-03-16
Image Number: 107960
Caption: Can Zoe and I watch TV until dinner is ready? Sure! Phoo! Just leave all the work to me. I donít need any help changing the sheets, or making a salad, or setting the table. I donít even need anybody to keep an eye on Wren while I stir the gravy. I LOVE doing everything around here all by myself! She said "sure."
     
9.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-06 Pub. Date: 2014-02-06
Image Number: 106775
Caption: Donít tell nobody, but Ö I been feelin' empty inside. Went to see a doctor 'bout it. He say I ain't sick or nothin'. He say I'm just LONELY. How could C-Dog be lonely? C-Dog know e'rebody on the block. Yeah, but does anyone really know YOU? All you ever share with other people is a whole lot of sarcasm. The operative part of "sarcasm" is "chasm." You must be Doctor Phil, cause Oprah have more hair.
     
10.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-01-26 Pub. Date: 2014-01-26
Image Number: 106962
Caption: Rudy, I'd like to apologize. For what, Uncle Mort? I'd like to say I'm sorry for leaving you a world full of hatred and war. I'd like to say I'm sorry for leaving you polluted skies and rivers. On behalf of my generation, I'd like to apologize for leaving you with such a mess ... BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY MY PARENTS' FAULT!!! That speech has been handed down through seven generations of our family. Take good care of it ... Someday, you'll give it to your own nephew. I usually like less sarcasm with my cereal.
     
11.  
Cartoonist(s): Hilary Price
Comic/Cartoon: Rhymes with Orange
Viewable Date: 2014-01-21 Pub. Date: 2014-01-21
Image Number: 106234
Caption: THE PROBLEM. It's impossible to know the tone of an email. Serious? Jerky? Funny? Angry? Emoticons are weird and unprofessional. From: Mulloy_R@corp.biz. To: Smith_M@corp.biz. Nice job at the meeting! Let's at least start with a dedicated font for sarcasm. Cambria. Gill Sans MT. Handwriting. Harrington. Helvetica. Hell-no-ica.
     
12.  
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2013-12-30 Pub. Date: 2013-12-30
Image Number: 104875
Caption: Happy New Year. Happy anniversary, Rosa. Anniversary? One year ago we, um Ö Y'know, we Ö Had our first kiss. Yup! And SO much has happened since then. YUP!
     
13.  
Cartoonist(s): Jim Borgman
Jerry Scott
Comic/Cartoon: Zits
Viewable Date: 2013-12-13 Pub. Date: 2013-12-13
Image Number: 104739
Caption: Dave, you remember my son, Jeremy. Of course! You've gotten taller. Yeah. I've been working on that since I was a baby. Taller and snarkier. They seem to go together.
     
14.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2013-12-10 Pub. Date: 2013-12-10
Image Number: 106910
Caption: Rudy, Coffee King has been poaching our customers. We need to do something about it. How about calling the cops? Last I heard, cooking human beings was illegal. Get it? "poaching"? Starting to with it weren't illegal.
     
15.  
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2013-11-20 Pub. Date: 2013-11-20
Image Number: 103556
Caption: Earl! What are you doing? I'm thinking! I'm thinking! How do I get down from this roof? You donít get down from a roof. You get down from a goose. That's it! If I get down from here alive I'm going to clobber him!
     
16.  
Cartoonist(s): Brian Walker
Greg Walker
Mort Walker
Comic/Cartoon: Beetle Bailey
Viewable Date: 2013-10-10 Pub. Date: 2013-10-10
Image Number: 102204
Caption: Can I take the afternoon off? Oh, sure, like there's no work to do around here. Why not take tomorrow off, too Ö Heck, the week! The month! The YEAR! Why not take the rest of your life off?! That's sort of my eventual goal.
     
17.  
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2013-09-24 Pub. Date: 2013-09-24
Image Number: 101116
Caption: I lost my library job. Oh. I'm so sorry to hear that, Miss DeGroot. Yeah. Well, Miss DeGroot needs a new job. High-paying, part-time, no experience required, super fun. With flexible hours. Nearby. Gosh. Where to start? There are so MANY of those.
     
18.  
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2013-09-23 Pub. Date: 2013-09-23
Image Number: 101115
Caption: I lost my job at the library. Oh no! What happened? Money happened. There isn't any. Well, honey, I'm sure you'll find another job. Isn't there a counselor at school who helps seniors find jobs? I need help. I know. Miss Halper.
     
19.  
Cartoonist(s): Jim Borgman
Jerry Scott
Comic/Cartoon: Zits
Viewable Date: 2013-08-18 Pub. Date: 2013-08-18
Image Number: 100135
Caption: Jeremy, will you take that bag to the trash? Okay. WHOO-HOO! MACY'S Do all women get sarcastic with age, or is it only you? Oh, it's only me!
     
20.  
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley
Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2013-08-18 Pub. Date: 2013-08-18
Image Number: 100038
Caption: Manufacturers are always making exaggerated claims about their products. Sweetheart, please donít start. Let's play a little game, Helen. Itís called "Sure It Does." Um Ö Okay Ö Aluminum mini blinds Ö And right here on the package it says: "Enhances any decor." Sure it does. "Get your teeth their absolute whitest" ... ... Sure it does. "Reduces the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles" ... ... Sure it does. A little sarcasm makes the world a more tolerable place to live. ... Sure it does.
     
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