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Candorville

Comics about routining and routines.

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Result page:     (14 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-15 routine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-15 Pub. Date: 2018-11-15
Image Number: 174938
Caption: You're a journalist … You've written a bunch of novels. But have you ever thoughts of writing poetry? Not in a million years. Why not? Wait … is this about what happened in second grade? Of course not, Susan. Just because a young boy stands up in front of the entire school and does a comedy routine in iambic pentameter, and nobody laughs even once ... doesn't mean he'll be traumatized, or anything. It wasn't 'cause it was a poem, Lemont. The room was just a little too old for droll observations about Muppet culture. I've asked you to never say Muppets around me.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-10 routine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-10 Pub. Date: 2018-01-10
Image Number: 167091
Caption: Did you see that Dave Chappelle special? I turned it off after he started getting political. Politics has no place in comedy. Not in sitcoms, not in comic strips, not in stand-up routines. Except for Donald Trump. Best insult-comic ever. That guy's hilarious. It's all starting to makes sense. He should've picked Andrew Dice Clay for VP, though.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-27 routine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-27 Pub. Date: 2017-06-27
Image Number: 159709
Caption: That's a shame. What's a shame? Did I do something wrong, officer? TSA. Yes, you did. You let your boyfriend turn you down. So what if he's 15,000 miles away in Russia? If I were your man, I'd never let that stop me. I would fly to the ends of the earth for you. This routing ever work for you? Good lord this routine must work for you.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-13 routine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-13 Pub. Date: 2015-02-13
Image Number: 122693
Caption: Son, please go to sleep. Please? Not till you thing me a thong. Lionel, I just sang you a bunch of songs. I sang you "Spock Had a Little Lamb," "Twinkle Twinkle Little Vulcan," "Hush Little Yoda," and "The Wheels on the Tardis." But you thang them in the wong order. Now you hafta thart over.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-21 routine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-21 Pub. Date: 2014-08-21
Image Number: 115242
Caption: Robin Williams visits Lemont's dream. One of my favorite things in the world was to make you all laugh. I always knew that. You'd combine classy and dirty jokes, wisdom and erudition and throw them at us so fast and from so many different directions … ... it was like you were a new dad trying to get his baby to laugh and think at the same time. Are you trying to say I made you laugh so hard you ... yourself? Let's keep this clean.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-12 routine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-12 Pub. Date: 2008-07-12
Image Number: 24782
Caption: Hey! What the (blank)?! I'm a (censored) atheist and you're dreaming me into the (censored) pearly gates? You're a (censored) hack. R.I.P George Carlin. 1937-2008.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-11 routine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-11 Pub. Date: 2008-07-11
Image Number: 24781
Caption: I'm no ghost, Lemont. What you're talking to is a (censored) memory of George Carlin…A spark of electrical activity in your brain. And when that spark fades, I'll be gone into nothingness, Just like the real (star). How do I know it wasn't really him? Gimme a (censored) break, the real me would've been much funnier.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-10 routine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-10 Pub. Date: 2008-07-10
Image Number: 24780
Caption: Dead comedian George Carlin visits Lemont's dream. But I'm a blogger -- I do ask the tough questions! No, you ask if voting machines are rigged. But you don't ask if voting means anything. We're selfish, ignorant people; that's why we always elect selfish, ignorant leaders. That's kinda rough. Maybe the politicians should vote for new citizens.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-09 routine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-09 Pub. Date: 2008-07-09
Image Number: 24779
Caption: Comedian George Carlin visits Lemont's dream. Ok, so I'm dead and all the media talked about was my "seven words you can't say on tv" bit. Heh. Good stuff. No! Don't you wonder WHY that's all they talked about? Why they didn't even mention my criticism of them? Why they wanted you to believe Tim Russert's questions were "tough"? Heh. Do the "seven words" thing. They're feeding you (censored)!
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-08 routine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-08 Pub. Date: 2008-07-08
Image Number: 24778
Caption: Comedian George Carlin visits Lemont's dream. All the media and the politicians ever talk about are the things that divide us. Anything to keep us fighting with each other so they can keep going to the bank. Let's talk about the little universal moments that make us the same. Ok....but you're dead. Ever notice how awful your skin feels when you're embalmed?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-07 routine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-07 Pub. Date: 2008-07-07
Image Number: 24777
Caption: Wha--? Who's there? George (censored) Carlin, the dead comedian. A-Are you a ghost? Are you stupid? There are no "ghosts". I'm an echo. An electrical impulse in your brain. A firing synapse. An idea. If I were a ghost who could do anything, would I waste my time in some strangers bedroom? Good point. Wait...that does sound appealing.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-01 routine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-01 Pub. Date: 2008-07-01
Image Number: 24662
Caption: Phil, let's go someplace where it's just you and me. Nah. Let's go to the club. We go clubbing like every week, dude. Wouldn't you like to just hang out sometime and talk? You look better dancing than you do talking. …Is that some sort of stupid joke? Oh yeah, this "talking" thing's going real well.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-30 routine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-30 Pub. Date: 2008-06-30
Image Number: 24661
Caption: Meanwhile, uptown… So have your friends started in yet? Huh? Come on, it's an old story: boy meets girl, girl's friends imply boy's a jerk, girl says "You don't understand him like I do"… …Girl's friends lie about seeing boy with other girl at the club, girl asks boy about it, boy changes subject. Old story. Wait. What was that? Make me a sandwich, babe?
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-10-01 routine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-10-02 Pub. Date: 2006-10-01
Image Number: 14840
Caption: You ever feel like you're in a rut, Clyde? Y'know, like you do the same thing every day an' nothing ever really changes? Hey buddy, I know exactly how you feel. I was the same way. Here is what you do: Just do thing differently each day. And the world seems a little bit brighter. Life the other week at work, they usually kill me -- Coincidentally whenever the President or his party needs a quick bump in the polls, but this time, they merely arrested me. It was a real change of pace, and I finally had time to finish that Ferrigno biography. Clyde, meet Al Qaida's #2 man in Iraq. Al Qaida's #2 man in Iraq, meet Clyde. I seen you befo'. whatup, family? Like Ferrigno, I am not always a nice man when angry.
     
Result page:     (14 images)