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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (28 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-09 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-09 Pub. Date: 2019-10-09
Image Number: 179806
Caption: I'm using reader feedback to perfect a book I'm writing called Lemont's Axioms of the Internet. Ooh. Tell me more. I posted my first axiom on my site and waited for the comments. What's the axiom? Lemont's first axiom: People who start a reply with actually almost always go on to write something that's utter nonsense. Actually, I think that's very observant of you, Lemont. 89 percent of my readers wrote exactly the same thing.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-29 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-29 Pub. Date: 2019-08-29
Image Number: 179194
Caption: Attention all parents of small toddlers … There's a brand new Youtube channel you'll definitely want to show your kids. It features funny reviews of toys, video games and apps. It stars a handsome, charming man dressed in huge glasses, a big floppy hat, and a bright yellow tuxedo. No self-promotion in my cafe unless I get a 98% cut. I am totally not unaffiliated with this brilliant performer.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-27 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-27 Pub. Date: 2019-07-27
Image Number: 178674
Caption: Boss, I've got a new idea. I think it'll double - no, triple - our sales. Not again. No, hear me out. This one's great. You know how we've been trying to figure out a way to keep customers from going to Coffee King? Yes. We've paid sweatshops in Foreignvania to post negative Yelp reviews ... We've planted rats in their kitchen ... and we've besmirched their name in many ways. Well here's my idea: Why don't we try serving better coffee than them? Where's the fun in that.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-11 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-11 Pub. Date: 2018-01-11
Image Number: 167092
Caption: I'm a big fan of minimalism. Less is more. For instance, last night … I was watching "Grace's Review" on YouTube. She went off on the movie "The Post," implying it didn't tell the whole story about the "Pentagon Papers" incident. I replied "you are part of the problem. Don't just imply there was another side to the story, say what that other side was! Otherwise you're basically just shouting "fake news!" Like any other partisan hack!" Then I deleted that and just wrote "you." ... I think I still got my point across.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-28 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-28 Pub. Date: 2017-12-28
Image Number: 166536
Caption: I saw that review of The Last Jedi you posted, Big L. You need to cut that out. You said it made you feel like a kid again. You said Luke Skywalker was amazing. You said it was the bet thing since Empire. Then I saw the movie. That spit was the worst thing since Phantom Menace. Your Jedi mind tricks ain't gonna change that. A positive review isn't a Jedi mind trick just 'cause you disagree with it. Your headline was this is the Star Wars you're looking for.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-16 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-16 Pub. Date: 2017-12-16
Image Number: 166006
Caption: Wow. The Last Jedi was such a good movie. I never saw an audience give a film a standing ovation before. Well, wait until Youtubers get ahold of it. Youtube's full of random people who think they're experts on film. They love to tear movies apart. They always say the same things, too: "It had pacing problems." Or "That moment wasn't earned." Or "That scene wasn't necessary." I'm thinking of starting Youtube channel where I give my critiques of people's critiques. Dios mio.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-06 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-06 Pub. Date: 2016-06-06
Image Number: 144219
Caption: Secretary Clinton, a growing number of people want to know about your emails. "President Trump." You've been saying all year that the State Department reviewed and approved your use of a personal server for your email. "President Trump." The State Department is now saying that's not the case - that they never reviewed it and wouldn't have approved it. "President Trump." The State Department seems to validate much of the criticism by Republicans. "President Trump." Clinton's got a good point.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-05 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-05 Pub. Date: 2014-10-05
Image Number: 116484
Caption: The Economist ran a book review where they called for a more "objective" look at slavery. They whined that "almost all the blacks in [this] book are victims, almost all the whites are villains." What, that surprise you, Big L.? Next thing you know, people gonna look into the slaves' high school records to see if they ever got suspended. Then they gonna go through the slaves' Facebook photos an' if they don't find no thug poses, they'll just Photoshop some gold teeth on the bruthas. They'll say Kunta Kinte stole a pack of cotton balls so he deserved what he got. Good talk, Clyde.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-25 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-25 Pub. Date: 2014-07-25
Image Number: 114100
Caption: "Planet of the Apes" isn't nearly as subversive as it seems to be. Huh? My first thought was "Amazing how they get me to sympathize with the apes more than I do with the humans." But then I realized, the apes are anthropomorphized. They were basically just hairy humans. Sorry, but if I were the theater, I wouldn't have given you your money back for that either. I thought it was a well-constructed complaint.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-17 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-17 Pub. Date: 2012-02-17
Image Number: 76407
Caption: I read your interview with Syria's ruthless dictator. It was actually fascinating. I never really knew or cared why dictators seem to cling to power so desperately. The part where you got him to talk about that little red-haired girl why never returned his phone calls explained everything. Lemont, your writing was actually really good! You don't have to sound so shocked. I wasn't bored to death.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-09 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-09 Pub. Date: 2010-04-09
Image Number: 45962
Caption: Really, mister? YOU wrote this humor column for the newspaper? Yeah, what do you think, kid? I think if you included some swearing, you'd be a lot funnier. Hahaha, I'd also be unemployed. Aren't you concerned about being unemployed because you're not funny?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-05 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-05 Pub. Date: 2010-01-05
Image Number: 42637
Caption: Fear, Inc. 2009 turned out to be a banner year for our division. Fox News Channel. In fact, if it weren't for us, the company would've ended the year in the red. Did you say red? You know who really liked the color red? … KARL MARX. Everybody give a round of applause to the 2009 "Salesman of the Year," GLENN BECK! Know who else measured time in years? ... Nazis.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-04 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-04 Pub. Date: 2010-01-04
Image Number: 42636
Caption: Fear Inc. We were a little worried, what with the way it started. But 2009 turned out to be a good year. Fear, Inc. Great, in fact. Yeah, "Obama's a secret Muslim" went nowhere … But "Obama wants to kill Grandma" performed well in the third quarter. Turned things around for us. First quarter wasn't all bad, sir. "Quick, give the banks all our cash or Western civilization will crumble tomorrow" flew off the shelves. True.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-06-22 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-06-22 Pub. Date: 2007-06-22
Image Number: 17672
Caption: Pardon, sir, I take English test for citizenship. Do I answer review questions correct? Hmm… Well, first off, "jeece" is not plural for "juice." But is not "geese" plural for "goose"? Hey, what can I tell you, pal? English language is just cruel trick played on foreigners and childreners. "Children."
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-12 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-12 Pub. Date: 2007-03-12
Image Number: 16391
Caption: Penny for your thoughts, Lemont? The guy who restocked the Death Star's snack machines didn't have to die, Susan. Lando didn't care about the little people. I want a refund.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-11-23 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-23 Pub. Date: 2006-11-23
Image Number: 15340
Caption: Ms. Garcia, while you were out , personnel sent a note asking for your assistant Dick Fink's performance review so I want ahead and wrote one for him in your name. Oh, Ok. Couple things: 1. I have not been out. I've been here the whole time. And 2. You're Dick Fink. Oh, Are you sure? YES I'M SURE.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-06-10 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-06-14 Pub. Date: 2006-06-10
Image Number: 13984
Caption: I read you new article on your blog today, Lemont. I liked it. You liked it. But you didn't love it? Well, -- Why didn't you love it? What's wrong with it? Oh, dear God, you hated it. A real friend would be honest of beating around the bush, Susan. I loved it, already!!! But you weren't crazy about it?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-04-21 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-04-21 Pub. Date: 2006-04-21
Image Number: 13523
Caption: Susan, you haven't said anything about the latest article I wrote for the blog. You hated it. Oh. I actually haven't read it yet. I hated it. Oh. That's all right. It's not a big deal anyway. Don't tell me you hated it, that would crush me. The last one I read was great, though. Don't worry I won't.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-04-12 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-04-12 Pub. Date: 2006-04-12
Image Number: 13449
Caption: You've got a bright future at Fitzhugh and Fitzhugh, Garcia. Don't blow it. Huh? Let’s take you latest ad campaign for the congressional leadership. "Help us deny undocumented immigrants healthcare so they'll get sick and die." You're right. It needs stronger language. "Help us starve the survivors to death."
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-02-05 review 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-02-06 Pub. Date: 2006-02-05
Image Number: 12926
Caption: Your eye twitched, Susan. What’s that mean? Nothing. You cleared your throat. What's that mean? Nothing. You cracked your knuckles. What's that mean. This is the last time I read on or your stories in front of you, Lemont. What's that mean?
     
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