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Candorville

Comics about reasons and reasoning.

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Result page:    2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  Next  (227 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-15 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-15 Pub. Date: 2019-11-15
Image Number: 180302
Caption: Where you been, Big L? At the doctor's. I realized I'm forgetting a lot of my youth. I don't remember much at all between ages six and nineteen. The doctor said forgetting all that time could mean I'm developing Alzheimer's, or it could mean I'm repressing something horrible. Clyde ... Between which ages did we hang out the most? Why you ask? No reason.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-20 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-20 Pub. Date: 2019-09-20
Image Number: 179502
Caption: She blew it, Clyde. Who blew what? What are you talking about, Big L? The whole reason I thought about dating Susan was because I thought maybe she and I would be compatible … so I tested her. I asked her out in Klingon, and she didn't have any idea what I said. I blew it. Your standards is too high ... or low ... or something.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-05 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-05 Pub. Date: 2019-09-05
Image Number: 179297
Caption: When I was ten, I wrote a short story about a future dystopian earth … in which white supremacists had infiltrated everything from the local police departments to the Oval Office. Propaganda had brainwashed half the country. Our votes no longer counted. Our President was a conniving would-be dictator who was imprisoning children. Toward the end, I had the Amazon rainforest burning up and dying. No ... I still don't believe the 21st century is all your fault. I even depicted Bill Cosby in prison ... Although for a totally different reason.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-17 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-17 Pub. Date: 2019-08-17
Image Number: 178999
Caption: Garcia, if you need birth-control pills for some medical reason, just tell us and maybe we'll change our minds about including it in your health insurance plan. Seriously? Of course. Tell us exactly what's going on with your lady parts, and then we'll make our decision. Pharmacy. Do you take Massacard?
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-15 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-15 Pub. Date: 2019-08-15
Image Number: 178997
Caption: Let me get this straight: You have a moral objection to covering birth-control pills, even though it's often prescribed for medical reasons. I shouldn't have to pay so that women can have sex without facing any consequences. But you don't have a problem covering Viagra and vasectomies ... even though Viagra only exists so that men can have sex, and vasectomies only exist so that men can have sex without consequences. That's different. men are supposed to sow their wild oats. Women aren't. Who do you think they're sowing oats with?!
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-11 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-11 Pub. Date: 2019-08-11
Image Number: 178906
Caption: I'll have a gentle flower chamomile tea. How so I know you're you? Today's special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. Pardon? The real Uncle Mort always orders espresso. But a month ago, just for laughs, I took a picture of him with Faceapp, that app that show what you'll look like decades older. Then we discovered the app's fine print says you're granting the Russians who made it permission to use your photos for any reason. How do I know you're not a Russian spy surgically altered to look like Uncle Mort? (Words indicating Russian language). I mean, Don't be paranoid. Yeah ... Yeah I guess you're right.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-14 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-14 Pub. Date: 2019-07-14
Image Number: 178556
Caption: According to Elon Musk, time travel is possible. I can't wait to time-travel. Elon Musk said time travel is possible? Well, not in so many words. He said it's almost a certainty that we're living in a simulation being run by our descendants in the distant future. His reasoning makes sense. In just my lifetime, we went from "Pac-Man" to "The Sims," where Sims live, work, fall in love, have kids ... and in a few decades, the Sims will be artificially intelligent and they'll actually believe they're experiencing all that. If we're artificially intelligent Sims, then anything is possible. What time travel to be possible? Just wait for the Great Programmer to install the "time travel" expansion pack. Want to live forever? Get him to install the "immortality" expansion pack. According to Elon Musk, I'm one expansion pack away from being a billionaire playboy. Nothing doing. the Great Programmer exhausted all his "miracle" expansion packs 2,000 years ago. But he's still got some "delusion" expansions. (This cartoon was originally published on 2016-07-10).
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-09 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-09 Pub. Date: 2019-07-09
Image Number: 178421
Caption: Hey, Big L, wassup? Listen, I can't make it to your barbecue tomorrow. Why not? Whachoomean Why not? What you is, my momma? My girl? My parole officer? I'm a grown man. I don't gotta tell nobody why not nothin'. Even if you don't come, you owe me for your half of the food I bought. See you at noon.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-21 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-21 Pub. Date: 2019-05-21
Image Number: 177717
Caption: I lost my wallet here. Could you check lost and found? Sure. What's it look like? Oh, it's leathery, canvas, nylon-ish … blue-black gray-purply-greenish … It has a Visa-Mastercard-Amex-Discoverish cards and one-ten-fivey dollars in it. I keep an I.D. of a dear friend in it for sentimental reasons. Get out.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-22 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-22 Pub. Date: 2019-04-22
Image Number: 177323
Caption: My cousin Mafalda just got deported. Seriously? Why? What happened? She went to renew her work visa, and they told her forget it. Didn't even give her a reason. But she runs a health clinic. What about all her patients? What about me? I was about to go in and get a checkup. What? You were not. Now I'll have to wait till she goes back to Mexico, files and appeal, comes back and restarts her clinic. Dios mio. Stop coming up with excuses not to go to the doctor.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-11 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-11 Pub. Date: 2019-04-11
Image Number: 177116
Caption: You know the worst part of renting instead of owning a home? Aside from not being able to create generational wealth for your children and all your descendants, I mean. You don't really have a good reason to hang out in Home Depot. You don't get to tear down walls and dig a lot of holes when you rent. Don't put limits on y'self, Big L. I tore down a wall just last week, I don't give a @#$%.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-30 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-30 Pub. Date: 2019-03-30
Image Number: 176944
Caption: What are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen a man ordering coffee before? Best. Dad. Ever. I'll also have a raspberry muffin. What? Reason #7 not to have kids.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-25 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-25 Pub. Date: 2019-02-25
Image Number: 176497
Caption: What I believe. Part 479. I believe we're not the only species on Earth that reasons, that dreams, that loves, and that suffers. I believe that EVERY animal is sentient … Except for the tasty ones.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-15 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-15 Pub. Date: 2018-12-15
Image Number: 175380
Caption: This is probably the last snow of the year, Clyde. For all we know, it could be the last snow ever. Want to go out and make snowmen like we used to? Nah, bruh. You wanna know why" … 'Cause I'm a grown-@#$ man. Let the memory show the only reason I didn't get dressed and trudge out into subzero weather to dig my hands in the snow is 'cause you ruined it. Why I feel like I been set up?
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-24 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-24 Pub. Date: 2018-09-24
Image Number: 174191
Caption: I wrote a very realistic screenplay that subverts all the usual Hollywood cliches. We don't see the protagonist in a moody bar when he feels down; we spend an hour watching him fall asleep all alone in front of his TV … and when he tries to stop a wedding, it takes him half an hour to find a good parking spot, and he misses the whole thing. We watch him circle the block for half an hour. Cliches are cliches for a reason.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-20 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-20 Pub. Date: 2018-06-20
Image Number: 172356
Caption: No, thanks. I like to let my reporting speak for itself. I'd rather not come on your show. I wrote 4,000 words about how Kim Jong Un tricked the president into offering him everything he wanted in exchange for nothing. That should be enough. There's no reason for me to appear on CNN just to basically repeat it all ... No, I am not afraid of public speaking. Y'know ... grown people aren't supposed to make chicken noises.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-09 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-09 Pub. Date: 2018-06-09
Image Number: 172073
Caption: What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-15 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-15 Pub. Date: 2018-05-15
Image Number: 171502
Caption: So … Clyde and I were playing basketball when all of a sudden four other guys showed up and asked if they could join in. So we started choosing up teams, and all of a sudden I got all nervous and anxious. I'm a grown man. I have a son. A career. But all of a sudden I was right back in second grade hoping I wouldn't be the last to be picked. Is that why Clyde asked me how my emergency vasectomy went? I had to think of some reason to get out of there.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-13 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-13 Pub. Date: 2018-04-13
Image Number: 170413
Caption: I don't see why you're so surprised I own a gun, Lemont. I was raised around guns. Papa was a sheriff's deputy. Remember? Of course I remember, Susan. How could I ever forget? He was the very first cop who ever pulled me over for no reason. You had just run over someone. the tricycle always has the right of way, everyone knows that!
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-18 reason 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-18 Pub. Date: 2018-03-18
Image Number: 168967
Caption: Every time there's a huge massacre, the anti-massacre snowflakes try to take away my arsenal. Don't they know what country they're in? This country was founded on guns. The laws that forbid the carrying of arms … disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes ... Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants ... for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man. - Thomas Jefferson. Thomas Jefferson never said that. And even if he had, you'd be resting your argument on the opinion of a slave owner. There they go playing the slavery card again. Well, you have to admit, if a guy thinks it's ok to treat people like property, that guy's judgment is suspect. That part of his judgment only applied to back then. The gun part applies to right now and forever ... because reasons. You know what he thought it was ok to do with his slaves?
     
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