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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (47 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-08 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-08 Pub. Date: 2019-04-08
Image Number: 177113
Caption: California accounted for 75% of all new jobs in February. Pareto Principle. It's how the world works. 20% of the people own 80% of the land. 20% of my clients give me 80% of my sales. I bet if we studies it, we'd find that 20% of what happens to us gives us 80% of our memories. Technically, California only has 12% of the population, not 20%. 20% of the time, you get 80% of the point.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-27 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-27 Pub. Date: 2019-03-27
Image Number: 176941
Caption: Lemont, I don't think millions of people watch Star Trek: Discovery. Parrot Analytics found Discovery had 24,859,094 average demand expressions per week. Other shows with those numbers had between 4 and 7 million viewers per episode, according to Nielsen Ratings. Parrot Analytics? You can't refute something just by questioning it in a skeptical tone. I can't? Stop that?
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-12 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-12 Pub. Date: 2018-10-12
Image Number: 174391
Caption: Dear Lemont Brown, Because we raised your APR, your most recent automatic payment to Feudalbanc Massacard was short by one cent. So we've charged you a $75 late fee. Unless you have as many lobbyists in Congress as Feudalbanc does, there is absolutely nothing you can do other than pay up. To admit defeat, sign here: Lemont Brown.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-14 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-14 Pub. Date: 2018-07-14
Image Number: 172718
Caption: At the refugee jail. Look on the bright side, little buddy. Now's your chance to get prison-ripped. What? I'm writing a new book in the "Randy's Manuals" series. It's called "The Alpha Male's Guide to Jail." Chapter six is all aobut using the two hours a day of yard-time to develop titanium buns. I'm not sure this'll be a best-seller. You kidding? We jail more people that any country in the entire world.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-24 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-24 Pub. Date: 2018-01-24
Image Number: 167652
Caption: Fox News tweeted that crime is down since Trump took office. So I wrote an article about how crime has been steadily falling for 25 years. Some random guy posted that’s fake news in response. So I sent him links to the data. He wrote back accusing me of obsessed with making him believe what I believe. I replied hey, you contacted me. Then he called me names. The internet is the dumbest land there ever was. I replied leave me alone. He replied you first.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-09 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-09 Pub. Date: 2017-08-09
Image Number: 161293
Caption: We're behind a lot of other countries in health care, social mobility, internet service, cellphone service, education … income equality, infrastructure, high-speed trains, voting, democratic representation, linguistic diversity, life expectancy, religious diversity, please, press freedom, child well-being, happiness, sleep, literacy, leisure, retirement security, gender equality, minimum wage, homicide rates, prosperity, the cost of food ... Other than military spending and the number of people we throw in prison, we're behind in almost everything ... so why do people still chant "we're number one!" All the time? Where we is on math?
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-13 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-13 Pub. Date: 2017-05-13
Image Number: 157812
Caption: That's your tenth cup of coffee, Susan. Maybe you should slow down. Or at least use decaf. Did you know that too much coffee causes insomnia, increased heart rate, anxiety, puking … I'm just looking out for you, Ms. Garcia. Susan. You think I'm hogging all the coffee. No, of course not ... Yes, I do. I do think that.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-26 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-26 Pub. Date: 2016-12-26
Image Number: 152624
Caption: Hi momma. I'm back from Canada. It was beautiful there. Can I come visit you? I just want to see the old house. My old room. I don't know why. What do you mean "that'll be $125 a night"? I don't care what "the going rate" is on AirBnB. I'm your son … What do you mean try back in the off-season.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-04 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-04 Pub. Date: 2016-11-04
Image Number: 150475
Caption: 1982. What do you think life'll be like in, say … 2012? Well if you look at the arc of mankind's progress, it'll be very different. We went from the Wright Brothers to the moon in just 66 years! At this rate, we'll have colonized Alpha Centauri and the Klingons by 2012. Plus, we'll all be rich. Momma says every generation does better than its parents. I'll probably be the first one in my family to ever own a home. Not on Mars, though, that'd just be ghetto. Wow, I can't wait till 2012!
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-28 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-28 Pub. Date: 2016-08-28
Image Number: 147131
Caption: How's your boy? Lionel's amazing! I put his little shoe on him and was about to tie it … when all of a sudden he reached down with his tiny, pudgy little hands and tied them himself. Can you believe that?! He's only two years old - Most kids can't ties their shoes until they're at least five! He's so advanced! At this rate, by the time he's ten, my boy won't need me for anything!
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-04 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-04 Pub. Date: 2015-11-04
Image Number: 134723
Caption: Dear Lemont Brown, Because we raised your APR, your most recent automatic payment to Feudalbanc Massacard was short by one cent. So we've charged you a $75 late fee. Unless you have as many lobbyists in Congress as Feudalbanc does, there is absolutely nothing you can do other than pay up. To admit defeat, sign here: x Lemont Brown.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-29 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-29 Pub. Date: 2015-08-29
Image Number: 131718
Caption: Monopoly Cable, Ryan speaking. How may I hinder you? You dropped CBS. 10% of the shows I watched were on CBS. Since you're giving me 10% less product, I will be paying you 10% less money. Ok sir, that sounds reasonable. Coincidentally, we were about to raise your rates by 10%, so let's call it even.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-25 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-25 Pub. Date: 2015-04-25
Image Number: 125859
Caption: That's your tenth cup of coffee, Susan. Maybe you should slow down. Or at least use decaf. Did you know that too much coffee causes insomnia, increased heart rate, anxiety, puking … I'm just looking out for you, Ms. Garcia. Susan. You think I'm hogging all the coffee. No, of course not. Yes, I do. I do think that.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-20 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-20 Pub. Date: 2014-10-20
Image Number: 117914
Caption: Please please PLEASE go to sleep, son. I can't thtop now, daddy. I'm thteadily buiwding up momentum. At this wate I'll be on the moon by bweakfatht. Who am I to kill a man's dream? Want me to bwing you back thumthing?
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-14 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-14 Pub. Date: 2014-09-14
Image Number: 115705
Caption: This morning while I was having a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast, I bit myself three times. Science is a total fraud, Susan. Huh? In the entire history of mankind, how many times have people bitten themselves on the inside of their cheek while they were eating? Probably more times than there are grains of sand on earth.. But when I googled it this morning, how many results showed up for the phrase "total cheek bites, average daily cheek bites per capita, and rate of correlation between cheek bites and fatal infections"? Zero. But when I googled "health benefits of peanut butter," guess how many results turned up? ... That's right, millions. Scientists are in the pocket of big peanut. who eats peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast?
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-27 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-27 Pub. Date: 2014-07-27
Image Number: 113450
Caption: How's your boy? Lionel's amazing! I put his little shoe on him and was about to tie it … … when all of a sudden he reached down with his tiny, pudgy little hands and tied them himself. Can you believe that?! He's only two years old - most kids can't tie their shoes until they're at least five! He's so advanced! At this rate, by time he's ten, my boy won't need me for anything!
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-12 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-12 Pub. Date: 2013-11-12
Image Number: 103799
Caption: Last week, you said if you earned $10 million in profit, and Obama raised your taxes to 50% you'd only take home $5 million. But that's not how our marginal tax rates work. Everyone's earnings are taxed exactly the same, whether you're a billionaire or a thousandaire. We all pay 10% on our first $8,500, 15% on earning between $8,500 and $34,500, 25% only on the portion between $34,500 and 83,600, and so on. If there were a 50% bracket, it would only be the 50% of the very top part of your income. On what page of the Communist Manifesto did you find all this? (This cartoon was published originally on 11/5/2011).
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-29 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-29 Pub. Date: 2013-09-29
Image Number: 101660
Caption: I just saw "The Business of Being Born." Ever seen that? What that is? It's a documentary about how birth doesn’t need to be treated like an illness. Did you know America has a really high infant mortality rate, even though we have the costliest birth procedures in the world? Did you know the drugs they pump into women in hospitals may be really bad for both mother and child? Did you know we MEN, so that don't have spit to do with us? YOU WERE BORN, WEREN'T YOU?! That's momma business, not mine.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-24 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-24 Pub. Date: 2013-08-24
Image Number: 100556
Caption: Monopoly Cable, Ryan speaking. How may I hinder you? You dropped CBS. 10% of the shows I watched were on CBS. Since you're giving me 10% less product, I will be paying you 10% less money. Ok sir, that sounds reasonable. Coincidentally, we were about to raise your rates by 10%, so let's call it even.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-24 rate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-24 Pub. Date: 2013-03-24
Image Number: 94390
Caption: Gregs-list.org. Jobs: TV-video/find talent. Trained polar bear for commercial. Search. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006. Gregs-list.org. Results: EXPERIENCED, trained polar bear available for freelance work. 20 years of commercial, film and television experience. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006. Multiple awards, including an Oscar, a Clio, and a Blue Ribbon at the Los Angeles County Fair. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006. Recent clients include Tyler Perry, Burger Queen, Taco Alarm and Animal Planet. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006. My day rate is six endangered seals and two fishermen all doused in oyster sauce. Please send details about your project and note whether your skull is sweet or tangy. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006.
     
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