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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (23 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-18 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-18 Pub. Date: 2019-10-18
Image Number: 179918
Caption: What do you mean We should never try to contact aliens? You used to be all for that sort of thing. Yeah, but … you know that UFO the Pentagon admitted was spotted by the USS Nimitz? The one that darted off at unimaginable speeds and angles when our jets tried to intercept it? Joe Rogan interviewed the pilot. One of the viewers in the comments wrote This is exactly how a cat would describe the red dot. You can't let some random internet guy's post change your whole worldview, Lemont. Mister Fusion seems very wise.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-24 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-24 Pub. Date: 2019-05-24
Image Number: 177720
Caption: Boss … Armstrong … I created a Trump Generator. You input questions, and it outputs random nouns and adverbs strung together with words like fantastic. I put it onling a few days ago, and already it's getting 500,000 visitors per day. I guess what I'm asking is, why do all Trump's answers all of a sudden end with Visit House of Jave Cafe. It's tremendous. It's run by a very smart man named Armstrong. I have no idea what you're talking aboutk. By the way, did you know Russian hackers are suprisingly cheap on Craigslist? Very bad man.!!!
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-01 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-01 Pub. Date: 2019-02-01
Image Number: 176035
Caption: Were I but a gossamer figment of they father's illumination … that I might reach for the golden moment … the singular image of that sweet glimmering night … then upon my breast I would beseech thee, do not speak kindly, but carry a dagger and consign thyself to havoc. I'm not convinced that you're quoting Shakespeare. I suspect you're stringing together a bunch of random words. Knaves! Fiends! Avail thyself of house and bitter rain and sleep no more.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-02 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-02 Pub. Date: 2019-01-02
Image Number: 175658
Caption: Ever since I was five and saw The Menagerie, I wondered what it'd be like to see a Star Trek series featuring Captain Pike. I'm finally getting that, sort of, on season 2 of Star Trek Discovery. Proves nothin', bruh. I ain't even sure what that all mean. It's like you threw a bunch of random nerd words together an' pretended it made a point. Captain Picard is back, too. And so's The Orville. I'm just sayin, that and a new season of the expanse means 2019 is the year miracles happen. Stop that.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-20 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-20 Pub. Date: 2018-03-20
Image Number: 169627
Caption: I'm starting to feel like nothing really matters anymore. Dr. Noodle. I remember just ten years ago, I'd spend hours online arguing with random strangers about important things. M.D. We all seemed to take plenty of time back then to listen to each others' points. We'd research our counter-arguments and present them. Sometimes we'd actually change each others' minds. I see. So when you tweeted all that last night, how did people respond? Some said I was being a snowflake, other said that was fake news.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-24 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-24 Pub. Date: 2018-01-24
Image Number: 167652
Caption: Fox News tweeted that crime is down since Trump took office. So I wrote an article about how crime has been steadily falling for 25 years. Some random guy posted that’s fake news in response. So I sent him links to the data. He wrote back accusing me of obsessed with making him believe what I believe. I replied hey, you contacted me. Then he called me names. The internet is the dumbest land there ever was. I replied leave me alone. He replied you first.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-16 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-16 Pub. Date: 2018-01-16
Image Number: 167356
Caption: I've considered what you said, about how every story, change only occurs after an interlude. But those are stories, Rosencrantz, not real life. In real life, the biggest changes often occur randomly and unexpectedly. There usually is no calm before the storm. We often jarringly shift from one storm to the next. And unlike with fictional characters, the actions of real people often don't make sense. I still demand to know why you took my shoe. (Originally published on 2015-12-29).
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-30 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-30 Pub. Date: 2017-12-30
Image Number: 166538
Caption: Hi, momma. What? Oh, no thanks, I don't need a roommate. (Sigh) … No, I don't care how wise and kind his posts are on your Facebook newsfeed. You did what? You gave him my address and told him he could stay with me until Uzbekistan extradites him? (Sigh) ... No, that's not what extradite means. (Sigh) ... Momma, you're not supposed to meet your random Facebook friends in real life. It's a rule ... You did what?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-16 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-16 Pub. Date: 2017-12-16
Image Number: 166006
Caption: Wow. The Last Jedi was such a good movie. I never saw an audience give a film a standing ovation before. Well, wait until Youtubers get ahold of it. Youtube's full of random people who think they're experts on film. They love to tear movies apart. They always say the same things, too: "It had pacing problems." Or "That moment wasn't earned." Or "That scene wasn't necessary." I'm thinking of starting Youtube channel where I give my critiques of people's critiques. Dios mio.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-10 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-10 Pub. Date: 2017-12-10
Image Number: 165352
Caption: I've been racking my brain trying to think of every interaction I've ever had with a woman. Dr. Noodle. I mean, when I was in my twenties, I did what guys in their twenties often did: I hit on women. Lots of them. We used to think that if a lady wasn’t interested, we just weren't trying hard enough. There were books about how to be more clever. How to be a pickup artist. There were times at the club when I was dancing with a lady, thought I had a shot, and went in for a kiss. Sometimes they didn't even know they were into me until I kissed them. But then they kissed back. Other times, they pushed me off and that was that ... or so I thought. Now, at any moment, some random woman could come forward and ruin my life. Well, lets start by acknowledging it's a healthy thing for society that men are learning what it's like to live in fear, for a change. Doesn't feel healthy.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-01 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-01 Pub. Date: 2017-05-01
Image Number: 157545
Caption: The Associated Press is fake news. And now we have iron-clad proof. We do? They "interviewed" Trump, but all of his answers were total gibberish. Completely unintelligible. Clearly, their fake-news-generating machine went haywire and just threw together a bunch of random nouns and adverbs. (Sigh) Trump is so going to win in 2020. I'm leading a mob to the AP building to burn the machine at the stake.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-14 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-14 Pub. Date: 2016-11-14
Image Number: 151016
Caption: Lemont flew to Canada to be with the woman he's fallen in love with and hasn't seen for over a year. But he paused at a random bar in Vancouver's Gastown district to cover the election for the Candorville Post. That's when the impossible happened. He found himself in the company of dozens of other Lemonts from alternate universes. All in favor of sending narrator Lemont back to annoying-verse? If he reports what he's seen, the girl of his dreams will think he's insane.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-26 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-26 Pub. Date: 2016-08-26
Image Number: 147666
Caption: You've really never had a dream, Clyde? Never, dawg. I always thought if I met an Atlantean, he'd look more like Aquaman. Get it? The ancient Greek historian Herodotus wrote about Atlantean refugees who lived on Mount Atlas. They apparently never dreamt. Unlike you, they were vegetarians. Maybe that's why you didn't get it. You need to work on your inside jokes, bruh.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-25 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-25 Pub. Date: 2016-04-25
Image Number: 142409
Caption: You have any plans today, Clyde? Nah dawg, that ain't how it go. The C-Dog don’t make plans, Big L. You make a plan, you spend all day tryin' to make that plan happen. … An' you fail to capitalize on the dozens of random opportunities that come outta no place ereday. Plans is for the lazy. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-14).
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-29 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-29 Pub. Date: 2015-12-29
Image Number: 137114
Caption: I've considered what you said, about how every story, change only occurs after an interlude. But those are stories, Rosencrantz, not real life. In real life, the biggest changes often occur randomly and unexpectedly. There usually is no calm before the storm. We often jarringly shift from one storm to the next. And unlike with fictional characters, the actions of real people often don't make sense. I still demand to know why you took my shoe.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-14 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-14 Pub. Date: 2014-04-14
Image Number: 110106
Caption: You have any plans today, Clyde? Nah dawg, that ain't how it go. The C-Dog don’t make plans, Big L. You make a plan, you spend all day tryin' to make that plan happen. … An' you fail to capitalize on the dozens of random opportunities that come outta no place ereday. Plans is for the lazy.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-18 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-18 Pub. Date: 2013-08-18
Image Number: 100037
Caption: I said, I don’t want to talk about it, Clyde. But why not? If you don’t wanna talk about somethin', you should at least say why. Otherwise a brutha gonna keep on askin'. Fine. You know Anthony Weiner, the disgraced ex-congressman who can't stop sexting with random strangers? I'm writing an article about him. I texted him to set up an interview. Did he text you back? I don't want to talk about it. Why not? Show me what he said.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-06 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-06 Pub. Date: 2012-08-06
Image Number: 85359
Caption: I don’t see why Janet Jackson upset about her niece bein' in a movie. Maybe she thinks Michael Jackson's daughter should have a normal childhood … Thug 4 Life. … Instead of having random guys at bus stops talking about her. Thug 4 Life. That's paranoid. What's the odds of that happening? Thug 4 Life.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-08 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-08 Pub. Date: 2010-08-08
Image Number: 50410
Caption: My mom and dad used to point out a person's ethnicity for no reason. Every joke or story would start with that. Like "So this one Korean dude asked me for the time at the bus stop today." Or "So this one Mexican cat told me there's a sale on records down on Broadway." What did ethnicity have to do with anything? It's like they tossed in random, unhelpful observations ... ... because they didn't really have anything interesting or insightful to say. You don't think it's insightful of me to point out that you always change the subject? That's so random!
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-03 random 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-03 Pub. Date: 2010-04-03
Image Number: 45684
Caption: I love online dating. TAKE THAT, DARWIN! Huh? Darwinism's all about disparate creatures hanky-pankying and mixing random genetic traits to produce "evolve" offspring … But Date - a - Chick.com takes the randomness out of reproduction. I can order someone exactly like me! The internet killed Darwin.
     
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