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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2020-01-06 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2020-01-06 Pub. Date: 2020-01-06
Image Number: 181112
Caption: I read your article where you called Mayor Pete's high-dollar wine cave fundraisers corrupt. That's so unfair, Lemont. For the sake of argument … hypothetically speaking, of course … Let's say someone showered Pete with cash in the wine cave in the hope that he'd throw his campaign's business to her P.R. firm ... but she didn't explicitly say that, she only stuck her business card between the $1,000 bills ... Go on ...
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-12-01 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-12-01 Pub. Date: 2019-12-01
Image Number: 180584
Caption: I saw that article you wrote about how California should do a public takeover of that PG&E utility company … just because they seem to keep starting massive wildfires. And to stop that they keep turning off power for millions of people. Yeah. The state's publicly-owned utilities like SMUD and Silicon Valley Power don't seem to get themselves into these predicaments. Maybe that's because they don't spend their money on lobbyists, fancy dinners, huge salaries, or dividend payments. Yeah, but Venezuela. Um ... What? That's the universally recognized trump card for any conversation. So declared by the International Association of Weaselly Arguments. I don't recognize their authority. Venezuela.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-04 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-04 Pub. Date: 2019-09-04
Image Number: 179296
Caption: I got a left sock, a. kidney bean an' a bootleg video of … never mind. Wait … A bootleg video of what? You can't just start a sentence like that and not finish it. It's a video some brotha given' a career day speech to kids in the Monroe High auditorium. Bruh was reeeal nervous. I was not nerv -- I mean, it wasn't me. I ain't never seen nobody projectile vomit they entire lunch before.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-03 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-03 Pub. Date: 2019-09-03
Image Number: 179295
Caption: I'm not afraid of public speaking, Susan. Really? Then how come every CNN asks you to go on air to discuss one of your articles, you come up with some lame excuse not to? I appeared once. I remember … I remember you looked an awful lot like Clyde that day, pretending to be you. Everyone knows the camera adds sunglasses, a goatee and different bone structure. Dios mio.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-02 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-02 Pub. Date: 2019-09-02
Image Number: 179294
Caption: Lemont, I'm speaking at Career Day at Monroe high. Wanna join me? No way. Historians are all gaga over President Monroe 'cause he supposedly hated slavery. But the hypocrite owned dozens of slaves. (Sigh) … You really need to get over your fear of public speaking. Sure, he once said slaves should be freed ... then he said they should be deported.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-10 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-10 Pub. Date: 2019-08-10
Image Number: 178911
Caption: R. Kelly's crisis manager said he wouldn't leave his teenage daughter alone with him, an' then quit. Wait a second … a big PR agency just quit representing one of the private border camps where migrants are being mistreated. Could it be the country's actually growing a conflux? ... I mean, a concave? ... I mean, a conglomerate? The word conscience ain't been used much lately. it'll come to me!!!
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-20 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-20 Pub. Date: 2019-06-20
Image Number: 178163
Caption: When are they going to impeach President Trump already? I'm so over all this. Hey … Better be careful. Doesn’t your ad agency handle government accounts? It's just you and me, here … and our cellphones. And drones. And parabolic receivers. And a government that uses all of them ... and snooping neighbors. As I said, impeachment is totally unnecessary and wrong. What was that?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-23 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-23 Pub. Date: 2019-02-23
Image Number: 176396
Caption: You article where you analyzed the public posts of people who use the term Social Justice Warrior sure got a lot of down-votes. I agree with Cicero. He said I have always been of the opinion that unpopularity earned by doing what is right is not unpopularity at all ... but glory. Still, it's a bad look to replace your site's thumbs down button with a glory button. Would you say that was an .. unpopular ... move?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-19 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-19 Pub. Date: 2019-01-19
Image Number: 175845
Caption: I've never had so many people tell me to go !@#$ myself in my whole entire life, Susan. All I did was write an article called It's Time to Make Private Schools Illegal. You did what? The theory is, if the children of millionaires and billionaires had to go to public school, you can bet they'd make sure our public school systems were amazing. It's not a bad idea. Half the comments I got misspelled !@#$. So I wrote another article about how that proved my point.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-17 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-17 Pub. Date: 2018-11-17
Image Number: 174940
Caption: I was on the bus the other day, an' two dudes got to talking 'bout bein' 5150'd. One of them said 5150 is when the police haul you in 'cause you a danger to yourself, but 5250 is when you a danger to others. Other dude said Nah, 5250 just mean they get to lock you up in a hospital longer. First dude called second one started throwin' hands. Second dude turned out to be right. The bus cop who arrested him said No, this ain't no 5250, this here a 242, I'm thinking of a getting a car.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-03 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-03 Pub. Date: 2018-11-03
Image Number: 174720
Caption: I read your stupid article about so-called voter-suppression. How is it discrimination if the rules apply to everyone? So what if Georgia's exact match system rejects your voter registration if any public servant ever typo'd your name in a state document? If it's good enough for John Smith, it's good enough for Mahershalahashbat Siddhartha. And not being allowed to vote without a street address doesn't just affect Native Americans on reservations ... it affects everyone who doesn't have a street address.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-21 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-21 Pub. Date: 2018-10-21
Image Number: 174386
Caption: Ask Sadie. Our resident 90-something-year-old radio pundit Sadie Cohen answers actual reader questions. AS away at asksadieshow@gmail.com (if you're sure you want the answer). Dear Sadie, I have to give a speech. When I stand up in front of people to talk, my palms get sweaty, my stomach hurts, and I suddenly have to use the bathroom, even I didn't eat anything. any advice? - Shy in Scottsdale. Excellent question. It reminds me of the very first time I was supposed to give a big speech. It as May 6, 1937 ... As head of the Ladies Auxiliary of Manchester Township's Dirigible Fan Club, I was to give a rousing welcome to an incoming blimp. As the German airship drifted gently overhead, I picked up the microphone, and ... By the ay, you know what people don't tell you? They don't tell you that it could create a spark when you accidentally whack a microphone on a mental box full of fireworks. I was by no means relieved about not having to give a speech that day. That would be wrong. And it was by no means intentional ... not provably so, anyway. Anyway, what were you asking about, again? How quickly to establish an alibi? Um ... that's ok. I've gotta go. Asksadieshow@gmail.com
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-02 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-02 Pub. Date: 2018-10-02
Image Number: 174289
Caption: I'm the one who brought in all our dark money accounts, sir. Especially Judicial Jerkpac. They hired us to create ads polishing off the rough edges of their favorite judicial nominees. But Judge Groperman is accused of sexual assault. I'm not sure you're the right man for this one, Garcia. I'm just as capable as any man of abandoning my principles to defend lowlife scum. It's called being a professional You mean alleged lowlife scum.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-01 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-01 Pub. Date: 2018-10-01
Image Number: 174288
Caption: Sir, I saw you assigned the Judge Groperman account to Dick Fink. That's my account, sir. Why would you do that? Now that Groperman's been accused of attacking a woman, I thought maybe you would be more comfortable not handling his P.R. campaign. I see. Are you sure it's not because you're afraid I'll sabotage the campaign to make sure the state senate rejects his nomination? Yayle. I would never even think of doing such a thing. Clearly not. All cretins are innocent until proven guilty.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-04 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-04 Pub. Date: 2018-07-04
Image Number: 172689
Caption: "What, to the American slave, is your fourth of July? I answer: A day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless." - Frederick Douglass. "Where's my beer?" John Q. Public.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-20 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-20 Pub. Date: 2018-06-20
Image Number: 172356
Caption: No, thanks. I like to let my reporting speak for itself. I'd rather not come on your show. I wrote 4,000 words about how Kim Jong Un tricked the president into offering him everything he wanted in exchange for nothing. That should be enough. There's no reason for me to appear on CNN just to basically repeat it all ... No, I am not afraid of public speaking. Y'know ... grown people aren't supposed to make chicken noises.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-18 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-18 Pub. Date: 2018-06-18
Image Number: 172354
Caption: What ever happened with the Canardville refugees? What? I thought you were covering that story. I was. But at the last second I had to fly to Singapore to cover the summit between the President and North Korea's leader. You know they had a private meeting before the public one? Sometimes I can't believe this is my life, Susan. I was just the shy kid from the wrong side of the tracks. Now I'm the guy hiding in potted plants reporting on the secret meeting between two powerful leaders. Wait ... what? I never in a million years thought I'd be in Singapore.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-28 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-28 Pub. Date: 2018-05-28
Image Number: 171945
Caption: Would you be disappointed in me if I agreed to create an ad campaign for the NRA? Of course not. In fact, I have an idea. Why don't you do an ad about how the NRA saved us all from smart gun technology that would've made sure only authorized users could fire a gun. I mean, that tech alone would've prevented most school shooting. Thank got the NRA put a stop to that. I really hate sarcasm Mondays. We really dodged the dodge-a-bullet bullet thanks to them.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-13 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-13 Pub. Date: 2018-05-13
Image Number: 171106
Caption: Dear Jerk … I am offended by your article where you wrote that getting offended is America's new national pastime. I've angrily shown it to all of my friends, after first telling them that what they were about to se was offensive … and each of them agreed with me that it was jut as repugnant as I insisted it was. they all now despise you with a passion, just as I had told them they would before they've ever heard of you. Dear sir or ma'am: I'm not sure your polling methodology is scientifically sound. On behalf of all Americans, I demand an apology, a retraction, and a public flogging. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-23 public 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-23 Pub. Date: 2018-04-23
Image Number: 170819
Caption: Starbucks HQ. Can I help you? I'm Lemont Brown, with Candorville.com. I have an appointment to interview your CEO about how one of your stores had two black men arrested for doing what white people do all the time. Are you sure you don't have an appointment with our black COO? She's the on our PR guys say should handle this. I'm sure. Oh, I'm also gonna ask him about the other store that didn't let the black guy use the bathroom 'cause he's black. I really think you should speak with our black COO.
     
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