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Candorville

Comics about proofs and proofing.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-12-08 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-12-08 Pub. Date: 2019-12-08
Image Number: 180640
Caption: Last week, a drunk driver almost ran me off the road. Dr. Noodle. So I tweeted Drunk drivers are the worst. Some guy replied What about violent criminals? He wrote They kill people and take their stuff on purpose. Why are you minimizing violent crime? I replied This is stupid. Then someone else replied that I'm heartless for writing that Caring about violent crime is stupid. I replied with That's not what I said! Have you considered that social media is a waste of time? Someone else replied He's denying it. That's proof he know he got caught.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-13 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-13 Pub. Date: 2019-01-13
Image Number: 175590
Caption: I'm doing well in my latest Surveymonkey poll. I run polls on all my social media accounts every time I make an important decision. Like when I decide which socks to wear … which movie to stream … which cereal to eat … Today I chose Lucky Charms. A solid choice. 49% of my followers felt that was proof of sound breakfast judgment. Wait ... Doesn't that mean 51% thought it wasn't? Taking a poll is science. Reporting the results is an art. A whopping 32% felt that my sticking with an un-PC breakfast choice showed I was bold enough to be president. You just ate what everyone wished they could eat.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-25 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-25 Pub. Date: 2018-09-25
Image Number: 174192
Caption: This just in: Astronomers discover and earthlike planet orbiting the nearest start, Prozima Centauri … click … Some are starting to question whether there's proof President Trump's grandfather immigrated from Germany. He could have come from anywhere. Click ... Proxima Centauri is just 4.24 light years away. In cosmic terms that's right next door. This side up.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-18 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-18 Pub. Date: 2018-09-18
Image Number: 174073
Caption: The President said his response to the Puerto Rico hurricane was an incredible unsung success. It turns our about as many people died because of the hurricane as died on 9/11. And most of them died in the weeks after the hurricane had passed. He could've done a lot more to save those Americans. I still don't see how this is proof the large Hadron collider shifted us into an antonym universe where words mean the opposite of what they meant in our original universe. In the antonymverse, that means you do see it.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-08 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-08 Pub. Date: 2018-07-08
Image Number: 172486
Caption: Hello, you've reached Feudalbanc Massacard. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? Hi Ryan. I'm looking at my statement and I see a $598.210 charge from House of Java Café. I'd like to dispute that charge … No, I don't have a receipt. I only bought a cookie so I could use the bathroom without risking them calling the cops on me ... because I was in a hurry to get into that bathroom, so I didn't have time to wait for a receipt ... What do you mean you can't help me? So what if I don't have a receipt? Think about it Ryan, who would ever spend $598,210 in a cafe?! That's not even humanly possible! ... No, I don't have a sick, perverted coffee bean fetish. Let me talk to your supervisor, Ryan. Ok, hold on, please. (Click) Hello, this is Mohinder. How can I mohinder you? I know it's you, Ryan.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-07 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-07 Pub. Date: 2018-04-07
Image Number: 170153
Caption: You know a good way to tell your friend his breath remind you of barnyard animals? My breath is just fine, Clyde. You sound defensive, bruh. Of course, I do. You said something about me that isn't true, so I'm defending myself. That's what's wrong with America: Every time an innocent person defends himself, people say that's proof he's guilty. There you go again with your defense-tivity. Your breath must be worse than I though. I'm going to quit while I'm behind.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-01 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-01 Pub. Date: 2018-03-01
Image Number: 168930
Caption: I read your article about the neo Nazi movement overrunning Ukraine. Nice of you to admit Trump is innocent! You mentioned Trump sent weapons to those neo Nazis. Those neo Nazis are Russian's enemy. That's absolute proof he's not in cahoots with Russia! ... unless Putin wants an enemy on his border, to scare his people into following him blindly. Oh please, what wannabe dictator has ever done that sort of thing?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-17 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-17 Pub. Date: 2017-12-17
Image Number: 165540
Caption: I have to tell you, I'm pretty freaked out by all the Terminator death robots Boston Dynamics has been developing. You too? Of course. Have you seen that Youtube video of their headless wolf-creature murder-bot? About 100 times. Have you seen the humanoid one with a soulless face and wheel-feet that's agile and quick enough to catch you no matter how fast you run? What ... are you scared? Snowflake. What the -- you're the one who brought it all up! Do you have a link proving I brought it up? A "link"? This is real life, not the internet. I heard it! That's my proof.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-05 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-05 Pub. Date: 2017-11-05
Image Number: 163961
Caption: I find it funny how you libs get all triggered every time the president implies Puerto Rican hurricane victims are lazy … or every time he praises white supremacists, or every time he "attacks" the first amendment, or every time he personally insults people. Don't you people know the president is trolling you? He's just pressing your buttons for fun and you fall for it every single time. It's as if none of you have ever debated anyone online. Online, you don't win by being right ... you win by making the other guy seem like he cares more than you do about any given topic. Caring is absolute proof of snowflaky weakness. If what the other guy cares about is common decency, you get extra points. That's the most absurd thing I've -- ... um ... whatever. Too late, snowflake.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-04 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-04 Pub. Date: 2017-11-04
Image Number: 164420
Caption: You know how China built all those huge mega-cities, expecting people to flock to them, but they're still mostly empty? It's kind of ruined one of my all-time favorite movies: "Field of Dreams." Apparently if you build it, they don't come. I posted an article about that on my site, but nobody's read it ... That's more proof. Dios mio.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-03 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-03 Pub. Date: 2017-11-03
Image Number: 164419
Caption: You've been sighing a lot. What's wrong, Lemont? I reject that whole theory. A sigh isn't proof of a troubled mind. It's just a biological function. Every mammal on earth sighs. The average person sighs once every five minutes! Ipso facto, sighing five times every minute is pretty much the same thing. "Ipso facto" isn't really a thing.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-26 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-26 Pub. Date: 2017-10-26
Image Number: 164150
Caption: Dear Lemont Brown, This is an attempt to collect a debt … for something you don't remember having bought. And even if you do remember, you bought it so long ago that odds are you haven't kept any records proving you already paid for it. Sign here and include a check to admit defeat and make this all go away. Lemont Brown.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-18 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-18 Pub. Date: 2017-08-18
Image Number: 161535
Caption: 1982. Mr. Barnhouse said the ancient Greeks thought gorillas were a myth. And people thought manatees were myths too. People used to think the platypus was a hoax. But it's real! … or so they'd like us to believe. You know what this means, right? It means every other creature that's thought to be a myth must also be real. I really don't think Pegasus, Medusa and the Kraken are real. I've just scientifically proven they are. Don't be so anti-science.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-16 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-16 Pub. Date: 2017-08-16
Image Number: 161533
Caption: You know what? If we ever create faster-than-light travel, we can prove whether Jesus existed. We found a planet orbiting a star in the Cygnus constellation 2,000 light years away. That means if we were there right now, we could peer back at earth through a super-powerful telescope and see events that happened 2,000 years ago. If Jesus were real, we could see him going about his business: performing miracles ... coming back from the dead ... picking his nose ... He never would've done that, Lemont. You know how much dust there is in the Middle East?
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-01 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-01 Pub. Date: 2017-05-01
Image Number: 157545
Caption: The Associated Press is fake news. And now we have iron-clad proof. We do? They "interviewed" Trump, but all of his answers were total gibberish. Completely unintelligible. Clearly, their fake-news-generating machine went haywire and just threw together a bunch of random nouns and adverbs. (Sigh) Trump is so going to win in 2020. I'm leading a mob to the AP building to burn the machine at the stake.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-23 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-23 Pub. Date: 2017-04-23
Image Number: 156529
Caption: Hello, you've reached Sisyphus Mortgage. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? I just got an ad saying you specialize in loans for self-employed people. I'm self-employed. I've taken all the tax deductions the law allows, so my income appears to be much smaller than it actually is. Is there any type of loan I'd qualify for? Of course. If you've got 24 months of bank statements that show you can easily afford the monthly payments, you may qualify for a "bank statement loan." I could get you bank statements. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we also need to see receipts proving that your expenses match your bank accounts. You do? ... O ... K ... I'll see if I can dig those up. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we'll also need to see your business license. Ryan, how many "one more things" are there? Before I can answer that, I just need one more thing ...
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-25 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-25 Pub. Date: 2017-02-25
Image Number: 154806
Caption: That astronomer Neil Degrasse Tyson admitted he was wrong about those deflated footballs the Patriots used two years ago. That's proof that the so-called "global warming" thing is a big fat hoax. You're saying that if someone's wrong about one thing. They must have been wrong about anything they've ever said? Hypothetically. I wouldn't know, since I've never been wrong. The Jungle.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-15 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-15 Pub. Date: 2017-01-15
Image Number: 152908
Caption: Hello, you've reached Bung Lee Plumbing. This is Bung. How may I hinder you? Hi Bung. I just got an invoice from you guys for $125 plus a $75 late fee for some work you did in my apartment. But I already tried to pay that bill, two months ago. You guys sent me an invoice that asked me to pay by phone. So I called and gave someone named "Ryan" my Massacard info. He said he'd send me a receipt, but he never did. I just checked with Massacard, and it looks like you guys never ran my card. I'd be happy to give the $125 we agreed upon, but I'm not paying you any late fee. It's not my fault Ryan didn't charge me. Do you have any proof you called and spoke with Ryan? Let me ask you a question: Would this be the first time Ryan screwed up around there? Ok. I'll waive the late fee.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-22 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-22 Pub. Date: 2016-10-22
Image Number: 149909
Caption: I don't care what the evidence says, the "Central Park Five" were guilty of assaulting that woman! I said it before and I'll say it again: what were they doing there in the first place, playing checkers? Trump. Seriously, Mr. Trump? Why would black and brown kids be in a park? SERIOUSLY? EXACTLY! You see my point. Very suspicious.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-21 proof 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-21 Pub. Date: 2016-10-21
Image Number: 149908
Caption: Mr. Trump, in 1989, a white woman was assaulted in Central Park. Five black and brown teens confessed. Vancouver Taxi. You took out a full page ad demanding the death penalty. In 2002, they were all proven innocent. The real perpetrator confessed, DNA evidence exonerated them, and courts found the cops had coerced their confessions. Yet just two weeks ago, you insisted they were still guilty anyway ... Why? I'm a better judge of guilt than the evidence is.
     
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