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Candorville

Comics about being professional and professionals.

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Result page:    2  Next  (36 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-06 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-06 Pub. Date: 2019-09-06
Image Number: 179298
Caption: I had a horrible day, bruh. 'Member how you gave a speech at a high school the other day? 'Member how you threw up on them kids? I been tryna sell bootleg DVDs of it the past couple of days. Ain't nobody buyin'. E'ry last one of them kids had recorded it an' already posted it to Instagram ... for free! I'm sorry you had such a bad day. Internet be lettin' amateurs run us professionals out of business.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-24 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-24 Pub. Date: 2019-08-24
Image Number: 179098
Caption: Do you think you'll ever get tired of working for the TSA, Randy? Let me see, little buddy … Will I ever get tired of encountering some of the most interesting people in the world … like Beyonce, and Rihanna, and Emilia Clarke, and Amber Heard, and Jennifer Lawrence, and the rest ... and making sure their pat-downs are completely professional yet totally thorough? This is why I never fly anywhere anymore. As long as blood pumps through my veins, I will never tire of this job.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-21 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-21 Pub. Date: 2019-04-21
Image Number: 177255
Caption: My boss asked me if I'd consider getting a more professional-looking haircut. Dr. Noodle. I told him It is professional. I get it cut at Roscoe's Barbershop every two weeks. So then he said That's not what I meant. He said Think of cropping it short. So I said But Cody has longer hair than I do. So does Chad. And Bryan. And Todd. And Jack. And Spencer ... and you. So then he said he wasn't going to name names, but one of my coworkers told him my aggressive hair makes them uncomfortable. So I said to him that coworkers complaint, and you siding with them, is making me uncomfortable. What are you going to do about that? Let me guess ... He told me there was no need to be so aggressive.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-02 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-02 Pub. Date: 2018-10-02
Image Number: 174289
Caption: I'm the one who brought in all our dark money accounts, sir. Especially Judicial Jerkpac. They hired us to create ads polishing off the rough edges of their favorite judicial nominees. But Judge Groperman is accused of sexual assault. I'm not sure you're the right man for this one, Garcia. I'm just as capable as any man of abandoning my principles to defend lowlife scum. It's called being a professional You mean alleged lowlife scum.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-10 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-10 Pub. Date: 2018-06-10
Image Number: 171944
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jiddury? Social anxiety. That's what Google says it is, anyway. But Google's no doctor. I thought it'd be better to get the opinion of a professional. I see, well, why don't we start the diagnosis by having you hang up your phone, get out of your car and come inside? No, that's ok. I'm good here. You have a lovely parking lot. I've got donuts in here. No, that's ok, I'm good. I've got cracker crumbs on the floor.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-19 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-19 Pub. Date: 2016-06-19
Image Number: 144283
Caption: Hello, you've reached Dubble Cross Health Insurance. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? Hi, Ryan. I just got a bill form you for $850. It says it's for "professional services." But I'm not with Dubble Cross. I have Czar Health Insurance. That's right, but it says here you used the emergency room the same week you switched from us to Czar. So when they billed your visit to us, you weren't actually covered by us. So you have to pay us back. What're you taking about? I used the emergency room on the last day of December, and I'd already paid you my dues for December, so I was covered! Our billing cycle ends the day before the last day of the month, sir. Since when, Ryan?! Since we realized people wouldn't know that.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-13 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-13 Pub. Date: 2014-05-13
Image Number: 111230
Caption: Erebody outraged that the Clippers owner told his girl not to hang out with black people like Magic Johnson. But where was "erebody" when that same dude was disrespecting minorities in his apartment building for 30 years? Disrespect average people? No problem. But disrespect pro athletes? You over. So you didn't legally change your name to "Magic Johnson" for identity theft purposes? How dare you impugn Magic Johnson motives.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-12 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-12 Pub. Date: 2014-05-12
Image Number: 111229
Caption: Can you believe that Clippers owner? Whachoo mean? You know … that guy who told his girlfriend not to bring black people to his games, and not to post pictures online of herself associating with them. It was just three weeks ago. Oh, that. Yeah, I could believe that. What I can't believe is people who can't believe it. What country you think you in, Kumbaya-stan? You're a ray of sunshine, aren't you?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-27 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-27 Pub. Date: 2013-11-27
Image Number: 104372
Caption: Dick? I want you to schedule a meeting with McMahon, Tate, Stephens and Evans. What do you mean "am I sure I want to do that"? Quit second-guessing me all the time. I don’t need my assistant to always second-guess me. No, I sure the correct phrase is "second" guessing. Dn't you mn "term"?
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-26 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-26 Pub. Date: 2013-11-26
Image Number: 104371
Caption: I think it's about time Fitzhugh Fitzhugh & Fitzhugh became Fitzhugh, Fitzhugh, Fitzhugh & GARCIA. That's not possible, Garcia. What do you mean, sir? That's far too many latters. Fitzhugh Fitzhugh & Fitzhugh already stretches across the width of the building. We'd have to magically enlarge the building to add "Garcia." What if I insist? We'd hesitate to add a partner who believes in magic.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-10-20 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-10-20 Pub. Date: 2012-10-20
Image Number: 88636
Caption: Sure, feel free to list me as a professional reference. Will work 4 food.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-05 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-05 Pub. Date: 2012-07-05
Image Number: 83014
Caption: I've never understood what women want from me. Carolyn wanted me to be decisive, so I was. Then she said I was too bossy. Latoya said I should be more sensitive. So I cried during "Sleepless in Seattle." Then she left me for a professional wrestler. Maybe what women want is for me to not be what they want. Then they'll want me.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-04 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-04 Pub. Date: 2011-04-04
Image Number: 59396
Caption: Garcia, do you think it was professional of you to grab our eighth biggest client by the scruff of his neck and throw him down the mail chute? Is this a trick question, sir? No it's not a trick question. Abercrombie & Fitch wanted us to devise an ad campaign for their push-up bikini top for seven-year-olds. Good point. Seven-year-olds don't have a lot of cash, anyway. Exac ... no, that's not ... Dios mio.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-01 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-01 Pub. Date: 2010-12-01
Image Number: 54752
Caption: The whole "Gay Marriage" thing isn't turning out as we'd said it would. Fear, Inc. It's been legal in a bunch of states for years now, and hasn't destroyed the institution of marriage or made people want to marry their pet turtles. … And it's given extra business to the whole wedding industry: printers, clothiers, caterers ... Don't forget divorce attorneys. "GAY MARRIAGE LEADS TO MORE DIVORCES!*" Oh, how I want to kiss whoever invented the asterisk (unless it was a dude).
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-04 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-04 Pub. Date: 2010-11-04
Image Number: 53693
Caption: Hello, you've reached "The Law Guy." Hi, Little Billy? I’m calling to find out the status of my custody battle against Roxanne. May I speak with your Uncle Loafer? This is Loafer. No it isn't. I know the difference between the voice of a grown-up and the voice of a six-year-do. I am a grown-up. In fact, you've interrupted me doing my taxes, or watching "Price is Right," or some other boring @#$%. I'm starting to think I should've picked the second cheapest law firm. I am my Uncle and you cannot prove otherwise.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-15 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-15 Pub. Date: 2010-08-15
Image Number: 50724
Caption: Does it bother you that nobody trusts you, Clyde? It don't bother me, Big L. I don't think I wanna be trusted, no how, look at BP. Huh? The people thought BP was competent, right? Right. The people TRUSTED BP, right? Right. Well … look what happened. One huge oil spill that killed the whole Gulf of Mexico, and the people TURNED on BP! What the ... Look, I just want you to give me back my wallet. An' look at Tiger Woods ...
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-30 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-30 Pub. Date: 2009-10-30
Image Number: 40268
Caption: Hi, I'm David. I will be your kidnapper today. I'm Lemont Brown, a journalist. Nice to meet you. I'm at the forefront of Mexico's burgeoning "Kidnapping American Professionals" industry. Thriving U.S. companies pay me a lot of money to release their workers. Where should I send your ransom note? CNN? NBC? Well, I work for a newspaper. It's ... That was nice of them to give us 50 pesos. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-02 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-02 Pub. Date: 2009-10-02
Image Number: 39057
Caption: And you think you have swine flu because … Weren't you listening, Doc? I've been all achy, my nose is running. Also, my head feels like it's stuck in a tailpipe. Could be just a cold. Yeah, but when I tried to eat a ham sandwich I was overcome with a profound sense of shame. Leave the diagnoses to the professionals. Is this gray spot on the tip of my hair cancerous?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-05 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-05 Pub. Date: 2008-12-05
Image Number: 28421
Caption: Last time I went to see a football game, the players were all about ten years older than me. Today, I was sitting in the stands with my hot dogs and nachos and beer, and I realized… …that you're getting a gut? THAT THEY'RE ALL TEN YEARS YOUNG THAN ME. Who won? TIME! TIME WON! I think the nachos held their own.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-04 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-04 Pub. Date: 2008-12-04
Image Number: 28420
Caption: I used to feel like football players were champions fighting for our whole city's honor. Now I just feel like I'm watchin' a bunch of multimillionaires working. Like I'm eating hot dogs while watching Warren Buffet sell stock. RAAAAAAAGH! Good talk.
     
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