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Candorville

Comics about things that are presidential .

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181. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-31 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-31 Pub. Date: 2008-10-31
Image Number: 27642
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 18: We found McCain's long-lost honor. After Karl Rove's lies destroyed John in 2000… …he told me: "My God…the genius of that. "The will to do that perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure." That's when he realized, they were stronger than he was. You couldn't stay to talk him out of becoming just like them? I had frequent flyer miles that were about to expire.
     
182. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-30 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-30 Pub. Date: 2008-10-30
Image Number: 27641
Caption: I remember in South Carolina, 2000. McCain had sworn to be honest. Honorable. But we went there and the Bush people had spread lies and innuendo about him and his wife. The HORROR. He wept like a child. And then he said to me… …that nobody should ever do that stuff to anyone? No, he said "Wait, we can do that?" But good guess.
     
183. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-29 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-29 Pub. Date: 2008-10-29
Image Number: 27640
Caption: Did they tell you why they sent you, embeds? Why they want you to reunite me with John McCain? They said his campaign had gone totally insane. That his methods were unsound. Do you think his methods are unsound? Honor. I don't see… any methods… at all, sir. Are you assassins? We're journalists. So that would be a "yes"?
     
184. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-28 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-28 Pub. Date: 2008-10-28
Image Number: 27639
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 18: The Starbucks at the end of the world. Manager said the lost and abandoned come through here from time to time. Said we might find what we're looking for. Pray tell, wouldst thou vagabonds know the way to the East Indies? First things first. Have you seen John McCain's honor? Perchance in yonder men's room.
     
185. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-24 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-24 Pub. Date: 2008-10-24
Image Number: 27504
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 17: This is the end. The river's end. To rescue John McCain's honor from a prison camp. Only one problem. There is no prison camp. But I am the spirit of investigative journalism incarnate. I, and I alone, can defy nature and the gods themselves to track down my prey. Hey, I found his honor, it's over at Starbucks. And will you quite doing that?
     
186. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-20 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-20 Pub. Date: 2008-10-20
Image Number: 27500
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal Day 15: Boat stopped so we could waste film on a tourist attraction. Authentic Fisherman. Rookies. Nerves causing dumb mistakes. Oh snap! I only have one shot left! At this rate, we'll never rescue McCain's honor from that camp upriver. Can't waste. Must... stay... till I can get perfect shot. Maybe animatronic fish glinting in sunset. Or maybe... (Click). What the @#$%?! I told you not to stop the boat.
     
187. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-19 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-19 Pub. Date: 2008-10-19
Image Number: 27485
Caption: And in other news, John McCain and Barack Obama are criss-crossing the nation to visit important groups of voters. On Monday, Senator Obama visited Jewish voters in Florida, while Senator McCain spoke at an Irish-American veterans dinner. On Tuesday, Obama spoke at a town hall hosted by Reverend Wilfred W. Wilfred, leader of the state's largest Christian Ministry... While McCain met with Latino-American veterans group. Next week, both McCain and Obama will be speaking to a group of Liebold electronic voting machines at their fourth annual "Sentence Day" luncheon. ...where the two will swear allegiance to their new lords and masters... Chuck, this teleprompter's gone haywire.
     
188. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-14 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-14 Pub. Date: 2008-10-14
Image Number: 27399
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 12: How are we going to rescue John McCain's lost honor from that prison camp with this crew of misfits? Asian Tax Shelter. Wesley Snipes and Chuck Norris. I won't even go there. Then there's Lemont Brown, the other embedded journalist. "Big L" is from some urban spit hole... Snap! ...and I think the light and space of Vietnam really put a zap on his brain. What in God's name is that crazy smell? Trees.
     
189. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-10 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-10 Pub. Date: 2008-10-10
Image Number: 27223
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 12: Our guide was one of those guys who had that weird light around him. Glow-in-dark iPOD. $99 at Target. We felt safe with him. Don't eat at that Taco Bell. Bad cheese. Nodung River that way, behind Starbuck! Go! Save John McCain honor from fetid prison camp! He knew the ways of the natives. Because he was one. Mmm... I love the smell of hazelnut latte in the morning.
     
190. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-09 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-09 Pub. Date: 2008-10-09
Image Number: 27222
Caption: September 24th, 2008… We monitored it out of Ha Long. It's been verified as the voice of John McCain's honor. Please, please, don't show me any more of my own lying campaign ads! I beg you! Then let's go over your involvement in the "Keating Five" one more time. NNNOOOOO!!! Shut it off. We'll save him. Or die trying. Do you mean that literally? 'cause...
     
191. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-08 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-08 Pub. Date: 2008-10-08
Image Number: 27221
Caption: The "Real" Delta Force couldn't make it, so the Pentagon called my agent. Y'know what? This whole "sailing up a dangerous river into enemy territory with Chuck Norris" thing? I’m not too cool with it. Don't worry, chief. We're not on our own. Oh. Well... They also sent Wesley Snipes as my feisty sidekick. Wait... What?! I'm on work release.
     
192. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-06 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-06 Pub. Date: 2008-10-06
Image Number: 27219
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal Day II: Saigon, Spit. I'm still only in Saigon. Covering the rescue of John McCain's long-lost honor from a jungle prison for CNN. Been here for a week now, waiting for Delta Force. I'm getting SOFT. Riiiight… Listen, I'll be in Starbucks. Jungle calls to me. Somewhere a story is bleeding. I'll get you a frappuccino.
     
193. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-05 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-05 Pub. Date: 2008-10-05
Image Number: 27187
Caption: I'm Elmer Humbug, from the heartland. I just can't vote fer that Obama. He wants me to inflate m'tires. An' also, he eats arugula. Any salad green with more'n two syllables is uppity. Four syllables, an' its patriotism is suspect. Anyways, what line o' work you in, city dude? I'm a blogger, and you? Farmer. Salt o' the earth, I tell you. Raise crops like lettuce, squash, arugula, spring wheat, radishes... Wait. go back? Spring wheat. Further back. I'm Elmer- Not that far.
     
194. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-04 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-04 Pub. Date: 2008-10-04
Image Number: 27049
Caption: Hey Clyde, is Lemont here? Nah, girl. But he sent a note. "Hey guys. Can't tell you I'm an embedded journalist on a mission to rescue John McCain's long-lost honor from a prison camp in Vietnam… "…because that's classified. Please feed goldfish. xoxo, Lemont." Dios mio. I know. Like we ain't got spit to do but feed that dude's fish.
     
195. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-28 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-28 Pub. Date: 2008-09-28
Image Number: 26928
Caption: Here to discuss government waste, Senator John McCain. Y'know, Bob… "I've fought the big-spenders in both parties who waste your money on things you neither need nor want… "…and the first big-spending pork-barrel earmark bill that comes across my desk, I will veto it. "I will make them famous, and you will know their names. "You will know their names." That's why I picked Sarah Palin as my running mate. What do you mean? Well, when she was a mayor, she got $27 million in earmarks for her small town of 6,700. I'm not following- Well, I picked her, now she's famous and you know her name. Job done.
     
196. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-26 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-26 Pub. Date: 2008-09-26
Image Number: 26926
Caption: Meanwhile, at the Candorville Chronicle… The Pentagon's sending Delta Force to rescue John McCain's lost honor from a prison in Vietnam. There's room for an embed, but we have to move fast. All our best people are busy covering Hurricane Britney. Who's left? Life as the Chronicle's Blogger, by Lemont Brown **** 8am - Realized tacos are a perfect metaphor for life. Tap tap tap tap. Is Milton back from vacation yet? The window washer?
     
197. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-25 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-25 Pub. Date: 2008-09-25
Image Number: 26925
Caption: Listen up, men. Inscom has lost contact with John McCain's honor. We believe his honor never returned from Vietnam, and is in fact captive in a heavily guarded prison. Intelligence, sir? Loads: 2004: McCain embraces the man who smeared his wife and baby. 2008: Approves false ad implying opponent is a sexual deviant. That's just for starters. Your mission, retrieve the senator's honor before it's too late. There will be casualties.
     
198. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-24 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-24 Pub. Date: 2008-09-24
Image Number: 26924
Caption: Remember when we implied that Obama was a creepy sexual deviant… …because he advocated legislation that would teach kids to protect themselves from predators? Well, surprisingly there's been some blowback, sir. Who is it? The ACLU? The media? If John McCain's honor is still alive, we think you'll find it here. Delta Force is ready, sir.
     
199. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-23 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-23 Pub. Date: 2008-09-23
Image Number: 26923
Caption: John McCain's office. If you're calling to ask why we ran an ad saying Obama wanted to teach kindergarteners about sex… …when he really sought to protect them from sexual predators… Press "one". Boop. John McCain had to face much worse things than lies when he was a captive in a stinking rat hole in Vietnam! Oh, for the love of...
     
200. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-22 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-22 Pub. Date: 2008-09-22
Image Number: 26922
Caption: I'm about to tell you that Barack Obama wanted to teach "comprehensive sex education" to KINDERGARTENERS… …even though the legislation I'm referring to was really about teaching kids to protect themselves from predators. But I think winning an election is more important than protecting kids. I'm John McCain, and I approved this garbage. "Sir, we mistakenly aired the dry run" better be code for "everything's peachy," or someone's getting fired.
     
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