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1. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-09-15 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-15 |
| Image Number: |
179422 |
| Caption: |
Hello? Hi. Could I start you with some coffee? No thanks, that might make me too excited, and I'm in a presidential debate in a few hours. I'm Patsy Milquetoast, 23rd person on the Democratic debate stage. Who? Don't you remember me from the last debate? I'm the one who took a bold stand against boldness. I thought that was that John Delaney guy, who kept saying we can't do big things. I thought John was being too confrontational when he said all that. You can't beat someone by confronting them. Um ... I hope my saying that didn't offend you ... not that there'd be anything wrong with you being offended.
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2. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-08-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-08-03 |
| Image Number: |
178786 |
| Caption: |
If there's one good thing I can say about Donald Trump, it's that he really knows how to nickname people. He stole that from me, though. I've been nicknaming my rivals since Kindergarten. There was a kid who challenged my authority over the sandbox. I turned him into Loser Larry. There was a kid who challenged my grip on the Sugar Straw Pipeline. I turned him into Dodo Douglas. There was a presidential candidate who stole my shtick. I turned him into Dopey Donald. I've still got it.
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3. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-07-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-07-01 |
| Image Number: |
178356 |
| Caption: |
I saw you in the Democratic debates last week. You did pretty well. I just told it like it is, cuz. I was honest. Blunt. Candid. It's like you didn't care at all what voters thought of your answers. My internal polling shows voters eat that @#$% up. I liked how, after you crushed Biden with that one answer, you strutted over to him and dropped his mic.
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4. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-04-24 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-04-24 |
| Image Number: |
177325 |
| Caption: |
I interviewed President Trump the other day. He still really believes he only lost the popular vote because there were up to 5 million illegal votes … even though there's zero evidence of that. It didn't make sense 'til yesterday. Remember that line from the Seinfeld rerun we saw last night? A lie is not a lie if you believe it. America elected George Costanza president.
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5. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-04-14 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-04-14 |
| Image Number: |
177112 |
| Caption: |
I'm only 5,000 donors short. What? What're you talking about, Clyde? Did you know the Democratic party changed they debate rules, bruh? All a brother need is to be at 1% in the polls, have 65,000 unique donors, an' 200 unique donors per state from at least 20 states. An' did you know there ain't no law at all against changin' your legal name to Bernie Sanderz and settin' up a donate to Bernie Sanderz website? Also, ain't no law against sayin' Buy my new album on iTunes in answer to ever debate question. I've got a strange feeling of deja vu about this. Don't worry. I'm sure I won't actually win.
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6. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-01-24 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-01-24 |
| Image Number: |
175943 |
| Caption: |
What's wrong, Lemont? I don't know what's happened to journalism? All the mainstream journalists went after me on Twitter. I wrote and article dissecting the voting records and the past actions of the people who CNN tells us are the Democratic frontrunners for the 2020 presidential nomination. How could you, Lemont! Now's not the time for that sort of thing. They accused me of being divisive ... and Russian.
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7. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-01-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-01-22 |
| Image Number: |
175941 |
| Caption: |
Beto Klobuchar is the Democratic frontrunner for 2020. Beto Klobuchar is gonna be almost impossible to beat. All the big donors seem to be impressed by Beto Klobuchar. What do you think of Beto Klobuchar? He cool. He prolly a good choice. I made him up. I ... yeh, I knew that. I was jus' playin' along wicha, bruh.
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8. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-01-21 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-01-21 |
| Image Number: |
175940 |
| Caption: |
Lotta Democrats runnin' for president, bruh. Kamala Harris my first choice. Cool … Why? Whachoomean why? I mean, which of her ideas do you like best? Which of her policies? I like her 'cause she tough. She don't take no mess. She handle business. That's not a policy. It is where I come from.
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9. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-12-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-12-30 |
| Image Number: |
175374 |
| Caption: |
Your suggestion didn't work, Susan. Thinking about baseball should have worked. Did you do it right? What do you mean? Did you think of the boring, repetitive parts? I tried. I thought about the batter swinging the bat around in the on-deck circle … The runners going around and around the diamond ... the batters swinging and almost always missing ... But instead of distracting me, it relaxed me. It wasn't boring, Susan. It was rhythmic. Baseball is a Zen-like experience that puts you into a trance. It frees the mind and makes it easier ... not harder ... for your mind to wander where you don't want it to go ... so it didn't stop me from wondering who's going to run for president in 2020. Ok, plan B: Try doing long division in your head.
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10. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-11-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-11-11 |
| Image Number: |
174713 |
| Caption: |
How many people bought your new book, bruh? The Worlds Where They Never Stopped Minorities From Voting? So far it's doing well. I painstakingly went through every single election since ex-slaves won the right to vote … and matched polls and private journals with every recorded instance of voter suppression and every dirty trick from the moment reconstruction ended until today ... Several presidential races, dozens of Senate races, and hundreds of Congressional races would've turned out differently. Our nation's history would've been totally different if minorities were never robbed of their right to vote. It took me eighteen years of research and hard work to piece together alternate histories caused by each changed election outcome. Is there a alternate history where you done told me how many people bought your depressing book? It's doing well.
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11. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-04-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-04-16 |
| Image Number: |
170574 |
| Caption: |
2016. Trump's not going to win. Not worried about him. That's why you should worry about him!!! What do you mean? Every time an impossible candidate wins, it's because people didn't worry about him. No one worried about Nixon. Nixon was a has-been. No one worried about Reagan. Reagan was a joke. Barack Obama ... he was nobody. 2018. No way President Trump can survive all these scandals. Thanks, you've just doomed us all.
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12. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-01-26 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-01-26 |
| Image Number: |
167654 |
| Caption: |
Twitter. Twitter.comcandorville. @candorville - I read your article about Orpah maybe running for president. I agree with you, the amateurization of America, from Uber to academia to AirBnB to the White House, is a troubling trend. If only we'd all get certified by taking awesome online courses for only $299/month at tinyurl.com/bxn8Lm6. They just get sneakier and sneakier. Anyway, I'm totally just a fan writing to tell you I love your work.
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13. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-01-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-01-25 |
| Image Number: |
167653 |
| Caption: |
Will Oprah … I said no. Mainstream Media. Canada or bust. Can't I just ask will Oprah run for president one more time. No!
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14. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-01-20 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-01-20 |
| Image Number: |
167360 |
| Caption: |
Will work for $$$. Will explain the appeal of Donald Trump for $$$. (Originally published on 2016-01-02).
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15. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-01-13 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-01-13 |
| Image Number: |
167094 |
| Caption: |
I had a dream. I dreamt that in 2020, "The Rock" runs for president as an independent. The Republicans nominate Trump again. Democrats are so overconfident that they nominate the corpse of Woodrow Wilson. And while we're all distracted, Congress quietly eliminates elections altogether and they appoint an immortal A.I. as the chairman and CEO of the American Corporate Empire, LLC. I think I like Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech better. I'd tell you the rest, but you might as well just watch "The Matrix."
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16. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-01-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-01-01 |
| Image Number: |
166779 |
| Caption: |
I published my new book, Clyde. It's all about how I met my girlfriend and how Trump became president. It's called "Canada or Bust!" … Available right now from my website, from Amazon, and from a bookstore near you. Bruh … is we havin' a conversation, or is you tryna sell me somethin'? I would never try to sell my own friends something Clyde. That'd be tacky. Is that your book right there in your hands with the title pointed at my face?
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17. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-10-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-10-03 |
| Image Number: |
163371 |
| Caption: |
I wonder why people didn't seem to care as much about the devastation in Puerto Rico as they did about Houston. You serious, bruh? How old you is, six? Seven? Is you even potty trained yet? Or was you asleep the last two years when the country elected a white supremacist for president? It's not always about race. Sometimes it's just about laziness. Five. I think you five.
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18. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-09-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-09-25 |
| Image Number: |
163097 |
| Caption: |
Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my entire life being a journalist. Why bother? History just repeats itself anyway. Dr. Noodle. I just started reading a political memoir I heard about on the radio this morning. M.A. The Democrat James M. Cox wrote it after he lost the election of 1920 to Harding. It's called "That Which Occurred." He also blamed his loss on Bernie Sanders. I hope I can be as sharp as Bernie at his age.
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19. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-05-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-05-01 |
| Image Number: |
157545 |
| Caption: |
The Associated Press is fake news. And now we have iron-clad proof. We do? They "interviewed" Trump, but all of his answers were total gibberish. Completely unintelligible. Clearly, their fake-news-generating machine went haywire and just threw together a bunch of random nouns and adverbs. (Sigh) Trump is so going to win in 2020. I'm leading a mob to the AP building to burn the machine at the stake.
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20. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-01-31 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-01-31 |
| Image Number: |
153972 |
| Caption: |
I interviewed President Trump the other day. I think he really believes he only lost the popular vote because there were up to 5 million illegal votes … even though there's zero evidence of that. It didn't make sense 'til yesterday. Remember that line from the Seinfeld rerun we saw last night? "A lie is not a lie if you believe it." America elected George Costanza president.
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