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Candorville

Comics about presents and presenting.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-25 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-25 Pub. Date: 2018-12-25
Image Number: 175585
Caption: My little boy was so happy when he woke up and saw all those gift-wrapped boxes with his name on them under the tree. Totally unrelated topic: Did you know that a lot of well-known concepts are lies? Like an apple a day keeps the doctor away. That's a lie ... and that thing about little kids not even caring if there's a toy ... and just being happy to play with empty boxes. That's a lie too. Dios mio, Lemont.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-21 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-21 Pub. Date: 2018-12-21
Image Number: 175483
Caption: I'm not buying any gifts this Christmas, Clyde. Say what? Buying someone a gift used to mean something. You used to have to go to the store and think about what they'd like. Now that you can just click a button on their Amazon Wish List, you don’t have to put any thought at all into it. It used to be the THOUGHT that counted. Now it's the THOUGHTLESS that counts. You broke, ain't you. (This cartoon was previously published on 2014-12-05)
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-20 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-20 Pub. Date: 2018-12-20
Image Number: 175482
Caption: What should I get your two-year-old for Christmas, Big L? Lionel would love a bronze replica of the starship Defiant, from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. You a bad father, Big L. I said what's he want? That IS what he wants! … Also an adult sized Captain Sisko uniform he can grow into. BAD father. (This cartoon was previously published on 2014-12-04)
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-02 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-02 Pub. Date: 2018-12-02
Image Number: 174985
Caption: Big L, you want me to be Santa again for your boy this year? Let me think about that, Clyde … Last year, I woke up to find my two-year-old boy shocking a pigeon with a taser gun. He said Santa gave him the taser, said Don't tell your daddy, and then forgot to shut the window when he climbed down the fire escape. I tried mouth-to-mouth but the pigeon was long gone. I only had to spend nine days in jail for animal cruelty, but my boy was in therapy for four months. Not my fault. I told him to only use it for fishing. No I don't want you to be Santa this year!!!
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-09 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-09 Pub. Date: 2018-10-09
Image Number: 174388
Caption: Did you hear the Ask Sadie show today? They were talking about breakups. Specifically, how to break up with someone without hurting their feelings. I find the best way to protect her feelings is to just disappear. Then she ain't cry at you or nothin'. Just 'cause you're not there to see her cry doesn't mean she's not crying, Clyde. Yeh it do, bruh. It one of them tree fallin in the forest things.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-20 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-20 Pub. Date: 2018-03-20
Image Number: 169627
Caption: I'm starting to feel like nothing really matters anymore. Dr. Noodle. I remember just ten years ago, I'd spend hours online arguing with random strangers about important things. M.D. We all seemed to take plenty of time back then to listen to each others' points. We'd research our counter-arguments and present them. Sometimes we'd actually change each others' minds. I see. So when you tweeted all that last night, how did people respond? Some said I was being a snowflake, other said that was fake news.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-15 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-15 Pub. Date: 2018-01-15
Image Number: 167355
Caption: Let's take a moment for a brief interlude, between what was, and what will be. All the days in all the years we've been partnered have been the same, Tyrone. Wake up. Scrounge. Reflect on our dire circumstance but do nothing to change it. And then drift back to sleep. But it occurred to me today, in every story I've ever read, there's been an interlude between the status quo and the big change. I feel interludy. Do you feel interludy? Not even a little bit. (This cartoon was originally published on 2015-12-28).
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-26 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-26 Pub. Date: 2017-12-26
Image Number: 166534
Caption: How come you ain't thanked me for your Christmas gift, Big L? Why would I thank you? You gift-wrapped $2 and gave it to me. And then not thirty seconds later, you borrowed $2 from me. I thought it was 'posed to be the thought that count. Well I think you thought wrong.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-13 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-13 Pub. Date: 2017-12-13
Image Number: 166003
Caption: What's wrong with you? Maybe it's the looming holidays, Rosencrantz. What does it bespeak of society that they've set aside that they've set aside a certain span of days on the calendar in which to be nice to one another? Am I the only one perturbed by a straitjacket of forced niceties people wrap themselves in? ... Am I the only one who so much as notices it? I told you, Tyrone, just because I got you something doesn't mean you have to get me something. See? Any other time of year, you'd whine about it! They got you too!
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-24 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-24 Pub. Date: 2017-08-24
Image Number: 161803
Caption: Hey Susan, did you get that evite from Clyde? Which one? The evite to his birthday party where he wrote "in lieu of gifts, bring a shovel and wear your work pants"? No. The evite to his housewarming party at his underground bunker? No. I've been ignoring his evites for months now. Ever since Trump won, they've been getting more and more cynical. I'm talking about his evite to watch the upcoming race war on his tv.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-20 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-20 Pub. Date: 2017-08-20
Image Number: 161117
Caption: Get outta here I'm busy! Got outta here I'm busy! Open Mike Night Presents Kids 3-5. Watch what you want! Watch what you want! Got my glock, an' my dollars, got my glock and' my dollars! A got seven baby mamas, I got seven baby mamas! All them (censored) on my (censored). All them (censored) on my (censored). Okay, thank you! Lots of talent here tonight, so let's keep it moving. And parents, pay attention to what your three-year-olds are watching. Okay, who's next?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-22 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-22 Pub. Date: 2017-02-22
Image Number: 154803
Caption: I never asked what you and Ace Peerless did for Valentine's Day. We competed. I surprised him with a portrait of us that I painted … and he surprised me by sending a white horse to take me to the beach, where the Candorville Philharmonic performed an original composition Ace had written for me. At the crescendo, which was times to greet the sunset, Ace descended from the sky on a hang glider, accompanied by a flock of doves and eagles. Vancouver and I Skyped and exchanged heart emojis. I'll never know who Ace trained those birds to make that huge heart formation.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-05 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-05 Pub. Date: 2017-01-05
Image Number: 152858
Caption: I'm not going to buy any gifts this year, Clyde. Say what? Buying someone a gift used to mean something. You used to have to go to the store and think about what they'd like. Now that you can just click a button on their Amazon wish list, you don't have to put any thought at all into it. It used to be the thought that counted. Now it's the thoughtless that counts. You broke, ain't you.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-11 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-11 Pub. Date: 2016-12-11
Image Number: 151363
Caption: Grandpa's 97th birthday is coming up. I have no idea how to time my gifts for him. Dr. Noodle. What do you mean "time" gifts? One year, I bought him a new set of dominoes, and he hated it. He gave it to the mailman. The next year, my sister bought him the very same set, and he loved it. He brags about it to me all the time. The next year, I bought him a gold pocket watch. He gave that to the pizza delivery guy. My sister gave him the same one the following year and he loves it so much that he's always putting it in my face and asking me what time it is. Maybe we should talk about the concept of "denial." Ok. But after we talk about why I keep picking the right presents in the wrong years.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-06 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-06 Pub. Date: 2016-07-06
Image Number: 145504
Caption: There you are, Dick. We need to talk. Ok, Ms. Garcia. This morning, I asked you to send Mr. Fitzhugh a ficus plant for his birthday. You know what was delivered? A single dead rose. Are you trying to get me fired, Dick Fink? 'Course not. Must've been a mix-up at the florist. The note said "This'll be you soon, old man. Sincerely, Ms. Garcia." That florist is the worst.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-05 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-05 Pub. Date: 2016-07-05
Image Number: 145503
Caption: Dick? I want you to send Mr. Fitzhugh a ficus plant for his birthday. What do you mean am I sure that's a good idea? Look, Dick Fink, you're my assistant. Every single time I ask you to do something, you ask if I'm "sure that's a good idea." Enough. That doesn't assist me. Yes, I'm sure it doesn't assist m - just order the stupid plant! Ok ... if you're sure.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-31 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-31 Pub. Date: 2016-01-31
Image Number: 138008
Caption: Buddha supposedly said "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Didn't he say that "in the past"?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-28 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-28 Pub. Date: 2015-12-28
Image Number: 137113
Caption: Let's take a moment for a brief interlude, between what was, and what will be. All the days in all the years we've been partnered have been the same, Tyrone. Wake up. Scrounge. Reflect on our dire circumstance but do nothing to change it. And then drift back to sleep. But it occurred to me today, in every story I've ever read, there's been an interlude between the status quo and the big change. I feel interludy. Do you feel interludy? Not even a little bit.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-13 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-13 Pub. Date: 2015-08-13
Image Number: 130936
Caption: What do you think the future's going to be like, Clyde? Just like now, only I'll have fries. Katrina's Ghost. I don't mean "The Future" as in fifteen minutes from now. I mean "the future" as in 200 years from now. Do you ever think further than fifteen minutes ahead? Do you ever think about the future of mankind? Would thinkin' 'bout that get me fries? Not everything in life is about fries, Clyde. I beg to differ, bruh.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-27 present 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-27 Pub. Date: 2014-12-27
Image Number: 120260
Caption: Thanta. What? Thanta Cloth. Son, I'm getting you speech therapy. But I don't want thpeeth thewapy, I want a pwaythtathion and a yewwow wemote contwowed caw. New rule, son: You can only have something if you can pronounce it correctly. "Cowectwy" is in the eaw of the behowder.
     
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