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1. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-16 |
| Image Number: |
180303 |
| Caption: |
How come you ain't fillin' your prescription at the pharmacy, bruh? My insurance is refusing to cover memory-loss meds. Don't worry, I got you. Whachoo need? I got Aricept, Exelon, Razadyne, Criscolon, Franaphran … Did you just make some of that up? Dilithiumanadyneaphran ...
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2. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-03 |
| Image Number: |
180101 |
| Caption: |
I'll have a gentle flower chamomile tea. That's a good choice, Uncle Mort. Of course you'd say that!!! You're in the pocket of the chamomile industry! You feed at the chamomile trough!!! Here. Delicious. Thanks. I'm glad you're finally taking the doc's advice and laying off the caffeine. That's what you think! I just swallowed seven caffeine tablets with it!!!! Forget the doctors! Big chamomile is in cahoots with big medical insurzzzzzzzz. Addiction is an ugly thing.
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3. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-05 |
| Image Number: |
179730 |
| Caption: |
Turn on the news. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story. There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on Rocky Road ice cream and then stay up all night Googling elliptical machines and diet pills. Who told you this? Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy.
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4. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-09-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-18 |
| Image Number: |
179500 |
| Caption: |
Mr. Fitzhugh, I'm not happy about the change you made to my Slim-Swift ad. It's deceptive. Nonsense. Yayle. CEO of the Year 2002. Slim-Swift has not been proven to cause any weight loss at all. And? You write Lose ten pounds in five seconds. Cash is surprisingly heavy, Garcia.
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5. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-08-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-08-17 |
| Image Number: |
178999 |
| Caption: |
Garcia, if you need birth-control pills for some medical reason, just tell us and maybe we'll change our minds about including it in your health insurance plan. Seriously? Of course. Tell us exactly what's going on with your lady parts, and then we'll make our decision. Pharmacy. Do you take Massacard?
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6. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-08-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-08-16 |
| Image Number: |
178998 |
| Caption: |
I demand to appeal this to the other partners, Mr. Fitzhugh. You removing contraceptive coverage from my insurance is unacceptable. You earn six figures, Garcia. You can afford to buy your lady pills on your own. That's not the point. Health insurance is part of my compensation package. This is like you docking my pay. I expect to be paid in full for my hard work. Communist.
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7. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-08-15 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-08-15 |
| Image Number: |
178997 |
| Caption: |
Let me get this straight: You have a moral objection to covering birth-control pills, even though it's often prescribed for medical reasons. I shouldn't have to pay so that women can have sex without facing any consequences. But you don't have a problem covering Viagra and vasectomies ... even though Viagra only exists so that men can have sex, and vasectomies only exist so that men can have sex without consequences. That's different. men are supposed to sow their wild oats. Women aren't. Who do you think they're sowing oats with?!
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8. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-08-14 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-08-14 |
| Image Number: |
178996 |
| Caption: |
I heard the boss switched out health insurance to a plan that doesn't cover lady pills. That's right, Dick. It doesn’t cover birth-control pills, IUDs or anything. Not true, Ms. Garcia. It still covers, Viagra, Cialis, vasectomies … anything a man desires. Are you gloating? Shake shake sh - Viagra. I wish I could chat, but I have a vasectomy at 2, followed by a vasectomy reversal at 4, and a vasectomy reversal-reversal at 6.
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9. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-08-13 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-08-13 |
| Image Number: |
178995 |
| Caption: |
Sir, why did you change my health insurance to a plan that doesn't cover contraceptives? President Trump issues a ruling allowing employers to refuse to cover any procedures that we disagree with either religiously or morally. And you have a moral objection to women controlling their own bodies? I have a moral objection to not saving a few bucks a month. Yayle. CEO of the year 2002.,
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10. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-08-12 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-08-12 |
| Image Number: |
178994 |
| Caption: |
… So I replied What do you mean your charging me $90 for my birth-control pills? My insurance covers those. And guess what the pharmacist said, Mr. Fitzhugh. I couldn't begin to guess. He said Apparently your employer switched you to a new plan that doesn't cover sluttiness. Sir, did you say to pretend you have an important call after ten minutes, or after fifteen? Five! Explain.
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11. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-12-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-12-30 |
| Image Number: |
152628 |
| Caption: |
Ever since I got back from Canada, I've felt like I'm just drifting through my days. Dr. Noodle. Like yesterday, I was interviewing a source I'll call "Deep Throat" at a big pharmaceutical company who told me they're purposely trying to spread the opioid addiction problem to other countries ... because getting people to become dependent on opioid painkillers here has been so profitable. But I ended up just taking Deep Throat to a hockey game. That's normal. For non-Trump-voters, thinking of Canada is a good substitute for opioids.
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12. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-10-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-10-16 |
| Image Number: |
149095 |
| Caption: |
It's like he's not even the same man I married. Dr. Noodle. How so? He used to mow the lawn every week. Sometimes every day. Sometimes even three or four times a day. He used to come home from work, go straight into the shed, whip out that lawn mower and ride around on the grass for hours and hours and hours. It was a new lawn mower. I was excited about it. But now it doesn't run as well as it used to. Have you thought of getting pills? They make pills to keep Kentucky Bluegrass from getting overgrown? What? What? If it's so important to you, go get someone else to mow it.
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13. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-05-06 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-05-06 |
| Image Number: |
142722 |
| Caption: |
If the sleeping pills I prescribed for you don't work, I want you to try guided meditation. You'll close your eyes and imagine yourself rising into the warm heavens. The worry and anxiety in your face melts away. Focus on the darkness behind your eyelids. Imagine that darkness turning into outer space. The stars beckon you to join them. You float to them. You become one with them. That's when the great truth of the universe reveals itself to you, and you learn ... we're out of time. That'll be $100. OH COME ON!!! |
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14. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-03-13 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-03-13 |
| Image Number: |
139909 |
| Caption: |
It all started with my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandpappy, Ezekiel Goodhusband. Dr. Noodle. Ezekiel was the courtroom sketch artist at the Salem Witch Trials. He drew a particularly unflattering likeness of Hezekiah Usher II. Hezekiah was later acquitted. But as poor Ezekiel would soon learn, Hezekiah actually was a witch. Hezekiah cursed Ezekiel and all his descendants. On our thirtieth birthdays, we all turn invisible ... forced to live out our lives in obscurity ... our needs, our contributions, our dreams and our worth going totally unnoticed. There's no upside here. Either I need anti-psychotics ... or you're lying naked on my couch. See? We're supposed to be talking about me! |
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15. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-12-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-12-11 |
| Image Number: |
119936 |
| Caption: |
Hi momma, how are you doing? Are you taking your pills? Are you going for walks? Did your acid reflux go away? Are you taking your insulin? Did that rash turn out to be shingles after all? Bowel movements regular again? Mom, you can tell me all this on the phone. So please stop posting about all that stuff on my Facebook wall. Mnphn. |
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16. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-07-20 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-07-20 |
| Image Number: |
113319 |
| Caption: |
It's like he's not even the same man I married. Dr. Noodle. How so? He used to mow the lawn every week. Sometimes every day. Sometimes three or four times a day. He used to come home from work, go straight into the shed, whip out that lawn mower and ride around on the grass for hours and hours and hours. It was a new lawn mower. I was excited about it. But now it doesn't run as well as it used to. Have you thought of getting pills. They make pills to keep Kentucky Bluegrass from getting overgrown? What? What? If it's so important to you, go get someone else to mow it. |
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17. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2013-11-14 |
Pub. Date: |
2013-11-14 |
| Image Number: |
103801 |
| Caption: |
When I was six, I dreamt I was a Jedi knight saving the galaxy from an evil empire. When I was 16. I dreamt I was making out with the girl next door. Last night, I dreamt I was giving Osama Bin Laden his exit interview, and he didn't like his severance package. Hold up ... you dreamin' 'bout some dude's packages? I bet when I'm 60, I'll dream of ex-lax. (Originally published on 2011-05-16). |
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18. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2013-05-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2013-05-25 |
| Image Number: |
97125 |
| Caption: |
When I was six, I dreamt I was a Jedi knight saving the galaxy from an evil empire. When I was 16. I dreamt I was making out with the girl next door. Last night, I dreamt I was giving Osama Bin Laden his exit interview, and he didn't like his severance package. Hold up ... you dreamin' 'bout some dude's packages? I bet when I'm 60, I'll dream of ex-lax. (Originally published on 2011-05-16). |
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19. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2012-04-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2012-04-01 |
| Image Number: |
77568 |
| Caption: |
I'm tired of opportunists pretending there's some sort of "War on women." … Just because in the states, we're trying to de-fund Planned Parenthood, repeal equal pay enforcement acts, and force women to undergo unnecessary medical procedures. … And just because we're trying to make sure women can only have contraceptive coverage in their health insurance if their bosses decide they can. None of that has anything to do with women. It's all about freedom. Besides, if chicks has less nookie, they wouldn't have to pay so much for the pill. That's not how the pill works. I have a constitutional right to decide how the pills does and doesn't work. |
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20. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2012-03-24 |
Pub. Date: |
2012-03-24 |
| Image Number: |
77683 |
| Caption: |
Garcia, if you need birth-control pills for some medical reason, just tell us and maybe we'll change our minds about including it in your health insurance plan. Seriously? Of course. Tell us exactly what's going on with your lady parts, and then we'll make our decision. Pharmacy. Do you take Massacard? |
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