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Candorville

Comics about phrases and phrasing.

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (49 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-03 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-03 Pub. Date: 2018-07-03
Image Number: 172688
Caption: Sir, why won't you let me fire Dick Fink? He's blackmailing you, isn't he? He's lazy, he's conniving, he's incompetent, he's a disaster. Don't you see, Garcia? I've given you the most precious gift an executive could have: Your very own scapegoat. Dios mio, what's he have on you?! The phrase you're looking for is "thank you."
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-26 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-26 Pub. Date: 2018-03-26
Image Number: 169885
Caption: Hey mister? Who is Stormy Daniels? Um … Stormy Daniels is a … you see what had happened was … Oh, I know: Stormy Daniels is a phrase that means to distract from far more important issues. Is that why when I tried googling it, my mom grabbed my tablet and threw it out the window? Grownups really hate being distracted.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-26 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-26 Pub. Date: 2017-11-26
Image Number: 165350
Caption: Women and men are coming forward and exposing all the powerful guys who've sexually harassed them. Its making me feel awfully worried and guilty. Dr. Noodle. Why? I'm worried that at any moment, a victim is going to come forward and ruin my life. That's natural. Think about it this way, though. If whoever it is you abused does come forward, you'll have a chance to come clean and clear your conscience. Huh? I've never abused anyone. I'm confused. I've already lost "House of Cards." This seems to be so pervasive, I could lose everything I spend my life watching. What'll I lose next, "Walking Dead"? "Man in the High Castle"? ... If they take "Big Bang Theory" my life'll pretty much be over. Just curious: Have you ever heard the phrases "get a life" and "it's not about you"? Hence the guilt.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-10 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-10 Pub. Date: 2017-08-10
Image Number: 161294
Caption: You remember the other day, when I said we're behind a lot of other countries in a lot of areas? Well, I wrote an article about that for Candorville.com. Within 15 minutes, I counted over 3,000 replies that included a variant of the phrase "If you don't like it here, go someplace else." So I did a little more research, and then posted an article about how we're far behind a lot of other countries in "going someplace else." ... That's when I found out we're number one in the amount of angry comments posted in all-caps. I been out of the state once. That was weird.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-15 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-15 Pub. Date: 2017-04-15
Image Number: 156723
Caption: 1982. I don't like going to the doctor. My Uncle Benny went to the doctor and never came back. Plus, there are lots of sick people there. How is it a good ideas to go sit in a waiting room where everyone has the plague? Plus, I believe in the Vulcan philosophy of mind over matter. If Spock could trance himself free of those killer alien spores, I could do that too. You're going to die young, Lemont. No, I'm going to live long and prosper.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-09 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-09 Pub. Date: 2016-02-09
Image Number: 138872
Caption: You ain't thanked me for watchin' your baby boy while you was on your date, Big L. Oh, I didn't? Maybe that's because I came home, he asked how my "booty call" went. Where would he learn such a phrase, Clyde? He's two! Most fellas woulda just turned on Sesame Street. I gave the boy vocabulary lessons. Not thanking you.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-16 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-16 Pub. Date: 2015-11-16
Image Number: 135313
Caption: The DA ain't gonna prosecute the cop who unnecessarily shot that white kid. … What the kid name again? Zachary Hammond? Yeh. I noticed it seem like the only people still outraged about it is the "Black Lives Matter" crowd. I ain't seen white people put on no marches, no protests ... nothin'. You know what this tell me? It tell me that when people hear "Black Lives Matter" an' reflexively respond by sayin' "All Lives Matter" ... What they REALLY sayin' is "shut up an' take it, like we do." "All Lives Matter" is catchier.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-14 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-14 Pub. Date: 2014-09-14
Image Number: 115705
Caption: This morning while I was having a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast, I bit myself three times. Science is a total fraud, Susan. Huh? In the entire history of mankind, how many times have people bitten themselves on the inside of their cheek while they were eating? Probably more times than there are grains of sand on earth.. But when I googled it this morning, how many results showed up for the phrase "total cheek bites, average daily cheek bites per capita, and rate of correlation between cheek bites and fatal infections"? Zero. But when I googled "health benefits of peanut butter," guess how many results turned up? ... That's right, millions. Scientists are in the pocket of big peanut. who eats peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-05 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-05 Pub. Date: 2014-09-05
Image Number: 115921
Caption: So? You wrote a good profile, Susan. But … … if you want a RESPECTFUL man to ask you out, be careful what you write. Certain phrases make guys only think about one thing. For instance, "looking for fun." That's gotta go. Really? Oh … ok. Better not write "hello," either.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-19 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-19 Pub. Date: 2014-08-19
Image Number: 115240
Caption: Robin Williams visits Lemont's dream. Christopher Reeve. Christopher Reeve? Andy Kaufman. John Belushi. Chris Reeve. My friends. When they died, I had to try to grieve privately for public figures. That was a whole different game. They were so much more than what most people were going to miss them about. So ... bad time to ask you to say "na-nu na-nu"? Never a bad time to ask for words that make you smile, chief.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-25 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-25 Pub. Date: 2014-01-25
Image Number: 106503
Caption: People keep calling the governor's bridge scandal as "bridgegate" or "bridgeghazi." It's like America's got a 5-minute long attention span. What about the real classic scandals, like "teapot dome"? Personally, I think "bridgepot dome" has a ring to it. Or "bridgeligula." ... What, too obscure?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-27 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-27 Pub. Date: 2013-11-27
Image Number: 104372
Caption: Dick? I want you to schedule a meeting with McMahon, Tate, Stephens and Evans. What do you mean "am I sure I want to do that"? Quit second-guessing me all the time. I don’t need my assistant to always second-guess me. No, I sure the correct phrase is "second" guessing. Dn't you mn "term"?
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-01-10 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-01-10 Pub. Date: 2013-01-10
Image Number: 91986
Caption: So long, Sherry! Remember to avoid the security cameras! Pardon me ... What's that even mean? "So long"? What, are you describing the length of time between now and when you'll meet again? If so, what's the point of that? You're gonna pay for this. For what? I only pay for goods and services.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-22 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-22 Pub. Date: 2012-06-22
Image Number: 82204
Caption: So? You wrote a good profile, Susan, but … … If you want a respectful man to ask you out, be careful what you write. Certain phrases make guys only think about one thing. For instance, "Looking for fun." That's gotta go. Really? Oh … Ok. Better not write "Hello," either.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-20 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-20 Pub. Date: 2012-01-20
Image Number: 44141
Caption: If you bear with me, I'll tell you where I buried your … Pardon me … couldn't help but overhear … "Bear with me" makes no sense. You don't have to bear anything. You're the one who's inflicting unnecessary exposition on your friend while you make her waste time waiting for you to get to the point. Since YOU are not bearing anything, it'd be more accurate to say "please bear me." I can't take this. Take what? "This" could mean anything. (Originall published on 2010-02-20.)
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-05 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-05 Pub. Date: 2011-08-05
Image Number: 63975
Caption: It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, out of the swirling black clouds above, a freak lightning storm! I ducked into Groceryville to escape certain electrocution. Unfortunately, so did all the people who'd snuck out of the adjacent fat camp. The place was crowded. ... Except, obviously, for the produce aisle. Mr. Brown, all I asked was, "how did you allegedly meet Roxanne?" I'd have taken my chances in the snack aisle, if I'd known the pure, unadulterated evil - and the high prices - that were lying in store for me in produce.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-02 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-02 Pub. Date: 2011-07-02
Image Number: 62676
Caption: You'll never believe what he did then. It was shocking, if you will. He … Pardon me, couldn't help but overhear. "If you will" WHAT? Accept the words you just chose to say? What if they WON'T? It's too late. You've already said them. Who died and made you the grammar police? Idiom police.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-05 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-05 Pub. Date: 2011-05-05
Image Number: 60510
Caption: Does the petitioner have anything to add, before I hear from opposing counsel? No, your honor, I think we can safely say "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED." What's wrong? That phrase … It's … oh, never mind. I guess it's before your time. Carry on. I say to opposing counsel ... No! Don't say "br.. BRING IT ON!!!
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-09 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-09 Pub. Date: 2011-04-09
Image Number: 59401
Caption: … So I said sure, we got away with it this time, but going forward … Pardon me, I couldn't help overhearing. It's not necessary to say "going forward." I mean, where else are you gonna go? It's not like you can go into the past. From now on, you'd better watch your back. No, that's just as bad.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-27 phrase 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-27 Pub. Date: 2010-11-27
Image Number: 54484
Caption: So I told him "I'm thinking you'd better put that thing away." Pardon me … I couldn't help but overhear. Why bother starting a sentence with "I'm thinking …"? Of course you're thinking it, or you wouldn't be saying it. Your brain commands everything you do from breathing, to moving, to talking. How about thumping jerks on the head? Of course.
     
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