Moose is an environmental nightmare, Nana. I beg your pardon? The beef and cereal in his chow is worth 10,000 SUV miles. But consider his offsets. He cleans my floor with natural solvents. I don't need a power-sucking burglar alarm. He listens to all my problems, free of charge. And he saves me from having to join a gym. SO ... I am not ... reducing my canine footprint.
Don't you sometimes want more, um, fashionable shoes, Nana? I bed your pardon! I just ordered a pair of stylish boots in a fresh spring color. With a racy new heel! I'm impressed. Who's the designer? Mr. Wellington.
West Fester is soo dull! Nobody interesting lives here. I beg your pardon! Except you, Nana! Thank you, sweetie. Now I've got to get back to killing aphids! Wow! We're more interesting than I thought. Who knew a mass murderer walked among us? Then on to drowning beetles.