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Candorville

Comics about numbers and numbering.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-17 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-17 Pub. Date: 2019-05-17
Image Number: 177624
Caption: Why on earth would anyone want prisoners and ex-cons to vote?! What kind of message does that send to thugs hoodlums and murderers? Do you have any idea how many crimes have been avoided because the thuggish, homicidal maniac realized he might jeopardize his right to vote? Zero. I don't mean how many as in numbers. Don't be so literal. Sorry.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-27 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-27 Pub. Date: 2019-03-27
Image Number: 176941
Caption: Lemont, I don't think millions of people watch Star Trek: Discovery. Parrot Analytics found Discovery had 24,859,094 average demand expressions per week. Other shows with those numbers had between 4 and 7 million viewers per episode, according to Nielsen Ratings. Parrot Analytics? You can't refute something just by questioning it in a skeptical tone. I can't? Stop that?
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-12 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-12 Pub. Date: 2019-03-12
Image Number: 176725
Caption: My son asked me what my favorite number is. I thought Who has a favorite number? Then I remembered, I did. When I was a kid, I loved the number eight, because it reminded me of infinity. Nuh-uh, Big L. You tol' me you loved it 'cause it was the only number that reminded you of food. You sure? i remember being a much more profound kid.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-17 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-17 Pub. Date: 2018-11-17
Image Number: 174940
Caption: I was on the bus the other day, an' two dudes got to talking 'bout bein' 5150'd. One of them said 5150 is when the police haul you in 'cause you a danger to yourself, but 5250 is when you a danger to others. Other dude said Nah, 5250 just mean they get to lock you up in a hospital longer. First dude called second one started throwin' hands. Second dude turned out to be right. The bus cop who arrested him said No, this ain't no 5250, this here a 242, I'm thinking of a getting a car.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-25 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-25 Pub. Date: 2018-10-25
Image Number: 174603
Caption: Momma, why can't you watch Lionel for me? It's only two weeks. I have an important story to go cover. What do you mean you don't have the energy? … Yes, yes I know you're not 22 anymore, but you … Yes, Yes I know you're not 23 anymore. But … Yes, I know you're not 24 -- Are we going to go through every number there is? ... No, I'm not saying you're that old. Hello? Are you still there?
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-15 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-15 Pub. Date: 2018-09-15
Image Number: 173987
Caption: Can I share your fries, Clyde? Oh, so now you wanna share. Where was you when I wanted to share your cable tv line? … Or your wifi? Or your Netflix password? Or your social security number? You somehow got all that anyway. I got that one my own, Big L. That's the problem with America today: Erebody want erethang just handed to them.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-10 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-10 Pub. Date: 2018-05-10
Image Number: 171292
Caption: I'm working on an article called The Unified Theory of Everything. But I've hit a snag. Every single science-related government agency I've contacted is stonewalling me. None of them will provide someone I can interview. NASA … the EPA … USGS … NSF … NOAA ... They all gave me the phone number for a new oversight department run out of the White House. It's called the Mendacious yammering Obstruction Bureau ... MYOB?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-07 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-07 Pub. Date: 2018-02-07
Image Number: 168182
Caption: Have you ever lost time, Susan? Sure. Everyone zones out sometimes. Cool, cool. But hey, have you ever, like, dropped your kid off at preschool, gone home, sat on the couch, and then after what feels like just five minutes, your alarm goes off telling you six hours have passed and it's time to go pick him up already? That's the kind of lost time I'm talking about. Reason number 398 why I'll never have children. I'm pretty sure I was abducted by aliens yesterday, is what I'm saying.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-21 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-21 Pub. Date: 2017-11-21
Image Number: 165148
Caption: What's the best way to make a girl forget a guy? Pretend you ain't got no sense of humor. If a bertha don't make a woman laugh, she gonna forget about him real quick. If that don't work, change your number, change your name, an' move to another state. No, I meant I want a girl I like to forget about another guy she likes. I gave one piece of advice a day. Come back tomorrow.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-30 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-30 Pub. Date: 2017-09-30
Image Number: 163102
Caption: Dear Lemon Brown: Unfortunately, we at Equifax must inform you that hackers breached our security weeks ago. Your social security number, address, credit history, and pants size may have been compromised. It appears the only personal information of yours that wasn't compromised was your signature. To sign up for our credit monitoring service, please sign here.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-23 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-23 Pub. Date: 2017-08-23
Image Number: 161802
Caption: C-Dog ain't worried 'bout no white supremacists. Why not, Clyde? 'Cause they want a race war. An' the way things going, they just might get it. But you know what? The vast majority of white people won't be on the side. Hm. You've got a point. To win with such small numbers, supremacists would have to take over key positions in government, the courts, an' all the police departments first. That'd never happen. I hate sarcasm.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-10 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-10 Pub. Date: 2017-08-10
Image Number: 161294
Caption: You remember the other day, when I said we're behind a lot of other countries in a lot of areas? Well, I wrote an article about that for Candorville.com. Within 15 minutes, I counted over 3,000 replies that included a variant of the phrase "If you don't like it here, go someplace else." So I did a little more research, and then posted an article about how we're far behind a lot of other countries in "going someplace else." ... That's when I found out we're number one in the amount of angry comments posted in all-caps. I been out of the state once. That was weird.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-09 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-09 Pub. Date: 2017-08-09
Image Number: 161293
Caption: We're behind a lot of other countries in health care, social mobility, internet service, cellphone service, education … income equality, infrastructure, high-speed trains, voting, democratic representation, linguistic diversity, life expectancy, religious diversity, please, press freedom, child well-being, happiness, sleep, literacy, leisure, retirement security, gender equality, minimum wage, homicide rates, prosperity, the cost of food ... Other than military spending and the number of people we throw in prison, we're behind in almost everything ... so why do people still chant "we're number one!" All the time? Where we is on math?
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-24 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-24 Pub. Date: 2017-07-24
Image Number: 160757
Caption: I'm glad you're not mad at me, Lemont. Why would I be mad at you, Susan? You didn't make me accuse my girlfriend of cheating on me just because she had an innocent dinner with some other guy. Sure, you sent me the video and warned me it was too painful to watch, so I sprung it on her sight-unseen and it turned out to be nothing ... and sure, you forgot to tell me they didn't leave together or exchange numbers ... And sure, you almost single-handedly wrecked one of the best things to ever happen to me in my life ... Well, I'm just glad you're no mad, old buddy. And sure ...
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-09 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-09 Pub. Date: 2017-02-09
Image Number: 154240
Caption: Thank you, Clyde. I don't know what you mean, bruh. Last year, I asked you to stream "Young Justice" on Netflix, because huge subscriber numbers could resurrect it for another season. You blew me off. But I just went back through your old tweets and saw that a week before they renewed it, you told all you 958,000 followers to watch it. Must've been a type, get outta here. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone you did something nice.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-21 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-21 Pub. Date: 2017-01-21
Image Number: 153409
Caption: So you went to Canada and spent time with the perfect woman. I got one question … What the !@#% are you doing here? Excuse me? Any man with some #@%$ sense woulda found an apartment, had his son Fedexed to him, an' stayed his behind in Canada. You can't just "stay" in another country. There are rules. Gimme her number, I'll move to Canada.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-13 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-13 Pub. Date: 2017-01-13
Image Number: 153090
Caption: Lemont Brown's "Writer's Credo" page 12. #47: This, I believe: Nothing ends. Every "ending" - even DEATH - is the starting point for an infinite number of stories. #48: This, I believe" The studio that rejected my screenplay for "Casablanca 2" is an idiot.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-07 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-07 Pub. Date: 2017-01-07
Image Number: 152860
Caption: Hello, wrong number, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. Yes, I am absolutely sure I'm not the person you're trying to call. Feel free to call back a third time just in case I've realized I actually AM the person I'm not. Beep.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-28 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-28 Pub. Date: 2016-11-28
Image Number: 151550
Caption: Mr. Fitzhugh, I want to know why I've been removed from the Trump account. I spent five years winning that account. Don't look at it as being removed from an account. Look at it as a paid vacation. Permission to speak frankly? Yayle. Don't give me that nonsense, sir. I'm not having it. Either put me back on that account by the end of the day ... or I'm going straight to Donald. He gave me his personal number. I'm sure he did ... and I never said "permission granted."
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-13 number 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-13 Pub. Date: 2016-10-13
Image Number: 149612
Caption: I kicked myself for not asking Vancouver for her number … but there was still one more day of the convention. So the next morning, I strolled around the hotel, and then around the block, hoping I'd run into her. My Fitbit told me I ended up strolling for eleven miles that morning. There's a thin line between love and stalking. Turns out she'd slept in.
     
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