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Candorville

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101. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-11 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-11 Pub. Date: 2014-08-11
Image Number: 114925
Caption: I had a date last night, but all I could think of was getting back home to tuck in my boy. What's wrong with me, Susan? My mom was a single parent, and I always wished I had my dad, too. Shouldn’t I be trying to find a new mom for my son? What are YOU doing for the next 18 years or so? WASHING MY HAIR!!!
     
102. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-07 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-07 Pub. Date: 2014-08-07
Image Number: 114620
Caption: Last night I dreamt I was dreaming. Recursive dreams can be very disturbing, Dr. Noodle. But there are tools you can use to tell you're asleep. That's not it. I'm just bummed that the dream I dreamt I had was more interesting than the dream I actually had. Never mind. Tell me about the tools. Sorry, time's up. (Originally published on 2012-02-09).
     
103. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-23 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-23 Pub. Date: 2014-07-23
Image Number: 114098
Caption: I had a dream last night. I dreamt that Israel's Prime Minister was Captain Kirk, of the starship Enterprise. And I dreamt Palestine's leader was also Captain Kirk, of a different Enterprise. Both ships were squaring off in orbit of Cestus III. The Metrons who lived on Cestus got annoyed and beamed both Kirks down to the planet to fight one-on-one. Who won? Not sure. There was lots of shirtlessness and karate chops, and then I woke up.
     
104. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-11 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-11 Pub. Date: 2014-07-11
Image Number: 113448
Caption: What'd you do last night? WHAT?! WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT?! What have you heard?! Did somebody tweet something? For your information, even the smartest people make mistakes. IS THERE SOMEHTING ON THE INTERNET I SHOULE KNOW ABOUT?! The 21st century is really loud.
     
105. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-13 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-13 Pub. Date: 2014-06-13
Image Number: 112324
Caption: Whachooneed, whachooneed … I got a toothpick, a sleeping cap an' some soymilk. What a coincidence! Why, just last night, I lost a sleeping cap at your place. Guess I'm lucky you have one for sale. The universe work in mysterious ways. That'll be $2. Give me back my sleeping cap. For free? What you is, a communist?
     
106. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-26 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-26 Pub. Date: 2014-05-26
Image Number: 111789
Caption: My son slept all night ling, Clyde. First time ever. Usually I can't get any uninterrupted sleep because he's always getting up. But last night, he didn’t even make a sound. … So I ended up staying up all night to make sure he wasn't dead.
     
107. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-03 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-03 Pub. Date: 2014-05-03
Image Number: 110714
Caption: I took Lionel to his first baseball game the other day. I hadn't been to a Candorville Chokers game since I was a kid. Back then, two Choker Dogs, Cokes and fries cost $8. Last night, it cost me $38. Back then, all the players were like ten years older than I was. But now, they are all like ten years younger. "National Pastime" my behind, it should be national "past my time." Baseball still around?
     
108. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-01 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-01 Pub. Date: 2014-05-01
Image Number: 110712
Caption: The other night, Jimmy Fallon joked that if Chelsea Clinton's baby is a boy, he'll get some of Hillary's hand-me-downs. Heh. That laugh you think you heard just now was, of course, nervous laughter in response to something that made me very uncomfortable. Or maybe it was gas. There really is no way to tell. Quit while you're behind.
     
109. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-27 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-27 Pub. Date: 2014-04-27
Image Number: 109961
Caption: Who do you think's gonna replace David Letterman on "Late Show"? Who give a *$%@? Yet another white dude in a suit, tellin' jokes an' suckin' up to actors … Why would I care about that? You go like 21 late night shows. Only one of them hosts ain't white, an only one is a woman. White men about 36% of America, bit they like 90% OF LATE NIGHT. Late night TV don't look like America, dawg. Unless they ask Dave Chappelle to host it, I ain't watchin'. Besides, I already watched them "Chappelle Show" DVDs fifty times. I need some new Dave. So that's what happened to my ... GIVE ME BACK MY DVDs!!!
     
110. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-18 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-18 Pub. Date: 2014-04-18
Image Number: 110110
Caption: I overheard you telling Lemont men pay their women's way half the time. What're you talking about, boo? I bought you those glasses. I bought you those shoes. I bought you dinner last night. What yo' name is again? You forgot tour own girlfriend's name? That don't even sound like a name.
     
111. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-10 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-10 Pub. Date: 2014-04-10
Image Number: 109842
Caption: Are you a big boy now, son? Or are you still a little baby? Big Boy. You know what big boys do, son? They go straight to sleep instead of jumping up and down on their beds and keeping their parents up all night long. Agoo. "AGOO," I thay. Too late.
     
112. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-27 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-27 Pub. Date: 2014-02-27
Image Number: 107984
Caption: What's the last thing you usually think about at night? Is it me? Pizza. You. Oh. I really don’t think I could ever go through life without pizza.
     
113. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-22 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-22 Pub. Date: 2013-12-22
Image Number: 104853
Caption: Sup, Big L. How your family be doin'? Oh my God … Bus. Clyde … Do you feel any sudden numbness? Maybe some weakness in your face, arm or leg? Especially on one side of your body? Are you having any trouble walking? Huh? What the @#!$ is you talkin' 'bout, Big L? Clyde, you NEVER express any interest in the well-being of others ... So when you asked about my family ... Naturally I assumed you'd had a stroke. I have been feelin' sleepy at night. That a symptom?
     
114. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-16 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-16 Pub. Date: 2013-12-16
Image Number: 105210
Caption: I had the weirdest dream last night, Clyde. I dreamt I was on a subway train with Nelson Mandela. The train flew into space, then into … the great unknown. And the whole time … … all we talked about was Kanye West saying he was going to be "the next Mandela." I told Mandela Kanye never said that, it was all an internet lie. Then we ate corn nuts. Well it was a good lie so that make it the truth.
     
115. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-13 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-13 Pub. Date: 2013-12-13
Image Number: 104851
Caption: You ever think about how you runnin' outta time, Big L? You ever worry you'll die before you get to accomplish e'rething you set out to do? You ever stay awake at night 'cause you hopin' somehow you'll do somethin' … ANYTHING … to keep that day from havin' been a complete an' total waste? No. Me neither.
     
116. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-22 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-22 Pub. Date: 2013-11-22
Image Number: 104086
Caption: Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! What is it?! Are you okay?! I fell athleep on my own! You promithed if I went to thleep on my own, you'd tell me another thtory when I woke up. You were supposed to sleep all night, not five minutes. You didn't thpethify that. (Originally published on 2012-04-13).
     
117. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-21 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-21 Pub. Date: 2013-11-21
Image Number: 104085
Caption: Google told me how to get you to go to sleep. Bwing it on! Experts divaricate on the matter. Mindell advocates progressively shortening the amount of time I remain in your room. Ferber, contrarily, posits closing your door for successively longer periods of time. The AAP postulates allowing you to select your own pajamas and sleep with teddy bears and other transitional objects will ameliorate your odds of success vis-a-vis somnolence. Zzzzzz. Brazelton posits that. I thaid Zzzzzz. (Originally published on 2012-04-12).
     
118. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-20 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-20 Pub. Date: 2013-11-20
Image Number: 104084
Caption: … And even after all that, he's still not tired. By the way … He just told me "I may have an idea for you that's win-win." Where's a two-year-old get something like that? Sometimes it's like a 37-year-old lives inside his head. Anyway, any idea how I can get him to go to sleep? Try calling him at 3am with boring stories about your kid's day. I guess that would be boring, since he already knows how they turn out. Zzzzz. (Originally published on 2012-04-11).
     
119. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-19 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-19 Pub. Date: 2013-11-19
Image Number: 104083
Caption: It's night-night time, buddy. But I don't wanna thleep. We all have to do things we don't want to do. For instance … I don't want to spend four hours every night trying to get my child to go to sleep. But I do it, because I'm supposed to. Well then I may have an idea for you that'th win-win. (Originally published on 2012-04-10).
     
120. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-17 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-17 Pub. Date: 2013-11-17
Image Number: 103511
Caption: We've got a little boy due in just a week or so. Dr. Noodle. I think James Henry Washington is a nice, strong, solid name. But Megan said our son has to be named after her favorite uncle. This morning, she said … "Emmett Samuel Nathaniel George Jerry Paul Cartho Washington is a great name." Megan doesn't like to play favorites. Life is largely about playing favorites. Every night we eat chicken-beef-tofu-fish surprise.
     
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