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Candorville

Comics about monitors and monitoring.

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Result page:    2  Next  (22 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-03 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-03 Pub. Date: 2019-03-03
Image Number: 176359
Caption: I'll take you back on one condition: No more cheating. Ok. Also, you'd better not even look at another woman. Ok. and you have to give me all your passwords so I can monitor all your social media accounts. Ok. And you have to go to counseling with me and admit how horrible a person you are. And you have to come home straight after work. And you have to get my permission to go anywhere else. And you can't talk to any females other than me or your mother. And you have to let me handle all your finances. And you have to keep quiet when my friends and family treat you like the trash you are for the rest of your life. I thought you said one condition. You life being over is one condition. Not to self: Never, ever, ever say take me back.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-30 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-30 Pub. Date: 2017-09-30
Image Number: 163102
Caption: Dear Lemon Brown: Unfortunately, we at Equifax must inform you that hackers breached our security weeks ago. Your social security number, address, credit history, and pants size may have been compromised. It appears the only personal information of yours that wasn't compromised was your signature. To sign up for our credit monitoring service, please sign here.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-07 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-07 Pub. Date: 2017-06-07
Image Number: 158827
Caption: How can I help you, sir? The monitor stopped working. I can't follow the plane's progress. I don't know where we are. Well … sir, you don't really need to know where we are at all time. You're not the pilot. But you were showing me our location. I got used to seeing it. It was comforting. You can't just snatch it away! Don't you have other binkies? Where's you iPhone? I need to know precisely when we pass the North Pole!
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-24 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-24 Pub. Date: 2017-05-24
Image Number: 158342
Caption: We don't suspect you of helping Russia blackmail the president. It's your college roommate, Rudy Park. He's the mole. Ithee. Thn hwcm imn hur? You and I go way back, Lemont. Of all the journalists I've monitored, you're by far my favorite. Mmble. Huh? I said "Untie me and let me go, you fascist, jack-booted thug!" Anyway, you've heard of "Deep Throat," right? Well ... first thing we need to do is come up with a good code name for me.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-12 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-12 Pub. Date: 2017-02-12
Image Number: 153753
Caption: I'll take you back on one condition: No more cheating. Ok. Also, you'd better not even look at another woman. Ok. And you have to give me all your passwords so I can monitor all your social media accounts. Ok. And you have to go to counseling with me and admit how horrible a person you are. And you have to come home straight after work. And you have to get my permission to go anywhere else. And you can't talk to any females other than me or your mother. And you have to let me handle all your finances. And you have to keep quiet when my friends and family treat you like the trash you are for the rest of your life. I thought you said one condition. "Your life being over" IS one condition. Note to self: Never, ever, ever say "take me back."
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-01 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-01 Pub. Date: 2015-11-01
Image Number: 134209
Caption: I was supposed to give a speech in Omaha. I spent months perfecting my Powerpoint. Dr. Noodle. When I got there, there was no monitor. No projector. Nothing. But that's ok, that's happened before. I asked if they had an easel and paper so I could draw charts on the fly. They gave me an 8.5"x11" notepad. 800 people in a huge room can't see anything on an 8.5"x11" notepad. I said "That's ok. I've got some funny stories." But when I got on stage, there was no microphone. Stories aren't usually funny when you yell them. Is that when you knocked over the podium, got arrested, and they put you on 72-hour psych hold? No. That's when they served cake, and I thought "I have to compete with cake? Nobody can compete with cake."
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-26 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-26 Pub. Date: 2014-11-26
Image Number: 119346
Caption: The state department is trolling Isis terrorists on Twitter. What? Some Isis butcher posted a photo of American troops abusing a woman, and the state department pointed out it's a clip from a Hungarian movie. Then the terrorists made fun of the state department's punctuation. I still don't think that's proof Isis is losing. I'm an expert in online arguing. People only resort to punctuation-mocking when they're losing.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-07-21 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-21 Pub. Date: 2013-07-21
Image Number: 99044
Caption: Dear journalist … I read your expose about how the National Security Agency is monitoring everything we say and do. In order to read it, I had to approve the "terms of service" for my Web browser, which included letting them store my browsing history, bookmarks and passwords. After I was done detailing the events of my day on Facebook, I posted a link to your article. I was hoping one of the 2541 strangers who friended me could explain it to me. The train has left the station. I mean, what is this "privacy? of which you speak?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-04 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-04 Pub. Date: 2011-06-04
Image Number: 61589
Caption: How'd you know I was on the rooftop complaining to Susan about how the iPhone tracks my every movement? Have you been following me? No … You tweeted it, blogged it, and posted it as your Facebook status after you did a Facebook check-in on the rooftop of your apartment. Oh, well ... thanks for following me. By the way, that mole you tweeted? You should really get that checked.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-22 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-22 Pub. Date: 2011-05-22
Image Number: 61176
Caption: Supposedly my iPhone's been tracking my movements for years, Susan. YEARS! Strangers could paint a portrait of my unique and intricate pattern of comings and goings. Where I eat, where I shop, whom I visit, and when. Strangers could find out everything I do, Susan. IT'S AN OUTRAGE! But you don't do anything all that interesting. That's what I mean! Now there's a permanent record of my being boring.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-01 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-01 Pub. Date: 2011-05-01
Image Number: 60249
Caption: What do you see, Murph? Nothing new. Some of them are reading a newspaper. Some of them are online. Still, I don't think they know anything. What's to know, really? That we're still monitoring them, just as much as we did under Bush. That we've grown so large we've got hundreds of departments and agencies operating out of 1,300 facilities all over the country. That the number of Americans with "top secret" clearance is approaching 1 million. That we've become an unaccountable leech on the treasury that few leaders have the guts to defund, so instead they pretend all that money is being stolen by teachers, nurses, cops, janitors, firefighters and little kids in "head start." They don't seem all that curious. Like I said ... nothing new.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-05 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-05 Pub. Date: 2011-02-05
Image Number: 56820
Caption: Facebook Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Lemont, if you want the photo I took of you way back in college, you'll have to come and get it. Describe the photo, so I can tell whether it's worth the trip. Well … it's you behind the door monitor desk in your cute uniform, talking to some guy who must be your dad. What? I don't HAVE a dad! That's biologically impossible. I was practically raised by Bill Cosby. Tap tap tap tap tap tap.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-07 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-07 Pub. Date: 2010-12-07
Image Number: 55011
Caption: Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Hi Lemont. You probably don't remember me. I lived in Freeborn Hall at UC Berkeley back in 1994. I just saw you on TV, at some panel discussion. And I thought "what a coincidence!" Just the other day, I came across a picture of you I'd kept all these years, of you working as a door monitor at Freeborn. I remember watching you write ... Dear Sasha, OF COURSE I remember you! I've been pining away for you for 16 years. I love you with all my heart and soul, and I want to have your children. Delete delete delete. Dear Sasha, OF COURSE I remember you! Tap tap tap tap tap. Delete delete delete. Dear Sasha, You seem vaguely familiar. Tap tap tap tap tap.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-12 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-12 Pub. Date: 2010-10-12
Image Number: 53002
Caption: Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Hi Lemont. You probably don't remember me. I lived in Freeborn Hall at UC Berkeley back in 1994. I just saw you on TV, at some panel discussion. And I thought "what a coincidence!" Just the other day, I came across a picture I'd kept all these years, of you working as a door monitor at Freeborn. I remember watching you write ... There! See it? Am I hallucinating, or did Sasha Mitchell, the love of my life, my "one that got away" ... just WRITE to me? All I see is a blank screen. I'm joking.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-11 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-11 Pub. Date: 2010-10-11
Image Number: 53001
Caption: Sasha Mitchell, from college, was my "one that got away." She could've been the love of my life. Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Hi Lemont. You probably don't remember me. I lived in Freeborn Hall at UC Berkeley back in 1994. I just saw you on TV, at some panel discussion. And I thought "what a coincidence!" Just the other day, I came across a picture I'd kept all these years, of you working as a door monitor at Freeborn. I remember watching you write ...
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-08 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-08 Pub. Date: 2010-10-08
Image Number: 52726
Caption: Sasha Mitchell, from college, was my "one that got away." She could've been the love of my life. My book signing went so well that I just know something good's gonna come from it. Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Hi Lemont. You probably don't remember me. I lived in Freeborn Hall at UC Berkeley back in 1994. I just saw you on TV, at some panel discussion. And I thought "what a coincidence!" Just the other day, I came across a picture I'd kept all these years, of you working as a door monitor at Freeborn. I remember watching you write ...
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-09 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-09 Pub. Date: 2008-10-09
Image Number: 27222
Caption: September 24th, 2008… We monitored it out of Ha Long. It's been verified as the voice of John McCain's honor. Please, please, don't show me any more of my own lying campaign ads! I beg you! Then let's go over your involvement in the "Keating Five" one more time. NNNOOOOO!!! Shut it off. We'll save him. Or die trying. Do you mean that literally? 'cause...
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-22 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-22 Pub. Date: 2008-06-22
Image Number: 24241
Caption: zzzz. Wake up… We have to talk about our relationship. Whuh? The mystery is gone. The flame has died. I'm bored. But… Maybe if you travel, or learn a new language, or introduce me to new and exciting people… …Maybe then I'd still care about you like I used to. ... Oh say something, Lemont! Say anything! Click. I'm movin' to Canada. I mean it. I think it's time I monitored other citizens.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-17 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-17 Pub. Date: 2008-06-17
Image Number: 24236
Caption: What's a federal agent doing in my shower?! Shhhh! It's the only place that's not bugged. The agency doesn't know I'm here. I've come to warn you. About people lurking in my shower?! No, I didn't see anyone in here.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-07-30 monitor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-07-30 Pub. Date: 2006-07-30
Image Number: 14289
Caption: What do you see, Murph? People, same as last week, Jules. Are they doing anything disloyal? That one's reading the news-paper. The comics page, I'd say. What strip? Blondie? The Oldersons? No. I can make out a few words, "President..." What else, Murph? What else does it say? I-M-P... "impeach." It says "impeach," Jules. Yes! Dissent! Sedition! Treason! We've caught another one reading disloyal America-hating, anti-troop, leftist TREASON! Oh, wait... it says "I'm peachy." Crud.
     
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