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Candorville

Comics about minds and minding.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-15 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-15 Pub. Date: 2019-11-15
Image Number: 180302
Caption: Where you been, Big L? At the doctor's. I realized I'm forgetting a lot of my youth. I don't remember much at all between ages six and nineteen. The doctor said forgetting all that time could mean I'm developing Alzheimer's, or it could mean I'm repressing something horrible. Clyde ... Between which ages did we hang out the most? Why you ask? No reason.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-12 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-12 Pub. Date: 2019-11-12
Image Number: 180299
Caption: 1982. Momma says I should be a teacher when I grow up. I said I want to be a writer, and she said 40 years from now, nobody's gonna read.. I said I want to be an astronaut, and she said we already did the moon, and 40 years from now, NASA's gonna be out of a business. Why a teacher, though? Momma said The one thing we know people will still be doing in 40 years is making kids. So I asked her how they make kids. That's when she said I should be an astronaut. My mama can never make up her mind either.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-23 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-23 Pub. Date: 2019-10-23
Image Number: 180022
Caption: I recommend Roscoe's Rib Shack on 47th, Burgerville on G Street, or PudgeBurger on Market. Oh, how I would love to eat there with YOU, Lemont. I'm free today, Sasha. Want to meet there for lunch? Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. I wish I could, Sunshine. I have some thing to do during the day. I am free tonight, though. You could come to my hotel room, like at around 2a.m. If you'd like to. I don't think PudgeBurger delivers at 2a.m. That's not ... Oh, never mind. Tap tap tap t-
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-28 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-28 Pub. Date: 2019-09-28
Image Number: 179622
Caption: I don't want to be that guy, but … But what? Well … you notice anything about all the old tv shows they're bringing back? The Fugitive, Battlestar Gallactica, Punky Brewster, 90210 … How come nobody's talking about bringing back 227 … A Different World ... Living Single ... Family Matters ... Moesha ... Stop trying to change the subject and admit you lost that argument we had two weeks ago. Never mind. I have no problem being that guy.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-26 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-26 Pub. Date: 2019-09-26
Image Number: 179620
Caption: I got a job offer outta nowhere, bruh. That's funny, so did I. My old editor wants me to … Uh-uh! No. That ain't how this work. What's the matter with you? First I finish my story, then you get to tell your story. A conversation be like merging traffic. First I go, then you go. Never mind. This why they revoked your license. They revoked it because you tried to use it. That's not important right now.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-13 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-13 Pub. Date: 2019-09-13
Image Number: 179398
Caption: The world's going to censored Susan. I don’t think it's wrong for me to want one last shot at absolute euphoria. How about it, Susan? Just you and me. But … Lemont … What about your girlfriend? I don't think she'd mind if I saw Coming to America 2 with you.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-07 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-07 Pub. Date: 2019-09-07
Image Number: 179299
Caption: You know the Amazon produces a lot of oxygen, and now it's burning up? So? This a good thing, bruh. Amazon rainforest makes oxygen. People breathe it in. Know what they breath out? Carbon dioxide. Carbon dioxide be causing global warming. By transitive logic, the Amazon rainforest be causin' global warming. That's ... look, for one thing, the Amazon soaks up carbon dioxide. Tell it to make up its mind.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-04 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-04 Pub. Date: 2019-09-04
Image Number: 179296
Caption: I got a left sock, a. kidney bean an' a bootleg video of … never mind. Wait … A bootleg video of what? You can't just start a sentence like that and not finish it. It's a video some brotha given' a career day speech to kids in the Monroe High auditorium. Bruh was reeeal nervous. I was not nerv -- I mean, it wasn't me. I ain't never seen nobody projectile vomit they entire lunch before.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-17 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-17 Pub. Date: 2019-08-17
Image Number: 178999
Caption: Garcia, if you need birth-control pills for some medical reason, just tell us and maybe we'll change our minds about including it in your health insurance plan. Seriously? Of course. Tell us exactly what's going on with your lady parts, and then we'll make our decision. Pharmacy. Do you take Massacard?
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-25 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-25 Pub. Date: 2019-05-25
Image Number: 177721
Caption: Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking You get what you pay for. Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in word or in deed?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-19 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-19 Pub. Date: 2019-04-19
Image Number: 177224
Caption: Do you think I'm losing it, Susan? No, Lemont. I mean sure, you're not as philosophical as you were when we were kids … and you seem a lot grumpier … and you lose things a lot more … and you tell me stories I've heard before … but it's super premature to worry that you're going senile ... Still, you might want to get checked out. I was talking about my sex appeal.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-28 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-28 Pub. Date: 2019-03-28
Image Number: 176942
Caption: Your article about the electoral college was riddled with inaccuracies. You mean my humor column? The electoral college not a for-profit, fake real estate training program started by James and Ivanka Madison to defraud people out of their life savings. It was a joke. And Hollywood actors and rich CEOs did not bribe people to get their spoiled kids into the electoral college. It was a joke. (Sigh) People always get extra-literal when their worldview is challenged. We're talking about my view of the electoral college, not of the world.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-05 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-05 Pub. Date: 2019-02-05
Image Number: 176171
Caption: I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my entire worldview. The burrito, as most Americans know it, did not actually come from Mexico. Or maybe it did. The internet is of two minds about the issue. The point is, if you can't count on the burrito being Mexican, you can't count on anything. I have something to tell you about Chop Suey.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-03 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-03 Pub. Date: 2019-02-03
Image Number: 175839
Caption: I read your article where you bashed people who accuse Star Trek Discovery of being a Social Justice Warrior show. You wrote Star Trek has always been a show about social justice. The entire premise of the show was a ship full of people from all walks of life ... flying from planet to planet to enlighten bigots, fascists and all kinds of other (censored). But you're hopelessly biased. Of course you would want people to have a so-called open mind. Your grandmother was a call-girl. Don't bother denying it, I spent all night on Google figuring it out. She was a telephone operator ... That's what they called telephone operators. Your defensiveness means I'm right. That's science.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-30 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-30 Pub. Date: 2018-12-30
Image Number: 175374
Caption: Your suggestion didn't work, Susan. Thinking about baseball should have worked. Did you do it right? What do you mean? Did you think of the boring, repetitive parts? I tried. I thought about the batter swinging the bat around in the on-deck circle … The runners going around and around the diamond ... the batters swinging and almost always missing ... But instead of distracting me, it relaxed me. It wasn't boring, Susan. It was rhythmic. Baseball is a Zen-like experience that puts you into a trance. It frees the mind and makes it easier ... not harder ... for your mind to wander where you don't want it to go ... so it didn't stop me from wondering who's going to run for president in 2020. Ok, plan B: Try doing long division in your head.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-28 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-28 Pub. Date: 2018-12-28
Image Number: 175588
Caption: Huh? What do you mean lost my mind? I read your article where you put Facebook on blast … You said they was givin' companies access to read, write and delete people private messages an' whatnot … but the next day, you sent me a private message sayin' Disregard my article, I was wrong and I'm a total fraud. What the -- I never wrote anything like that!! Your message said your alcoholism might make you forgetful.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-18 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-18 Pub. Date: 2018-12-18
Image Number: 175480
Caption: Earlier today, I considered the option of traveling back through time and making other choices. But before I could finish considering it, I changed my mind and decided I could not, would not, dare not do such a thing. But now it occurs to me, perhaps that was me from the future inhabiting my past self and making just such an other choice. I think I regret that I'm going to do what I did to prevent me from undoing that which I regret. Stop it. (This cartoon was previously published on 2016-10-26)
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-29 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-29 Pub. Date: 2018-11-29
Image Number: 175157
Caption: Did you catch the Ask Sadie Show? They were talking about immortality. You're interrupting today's How to be an Alpha lesson, little buddy. They said that in just 30 years, we'll be able to transfer our minds to a server, shoot it into deep space where the cold will help the hard drive to survive for eons, and live in a virtual. But what if we've already done that? What if it's like the Matrix, or like Elon Musk's theories, and nothing we see is really real? What if right now, we're in a hard drive orbiting Ur ... As I was saying ... Alphas don't tell Uranus jokes.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-27 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-27 Pub. Date: 2018-11-27
Image Number: 175155
Caption: Think about it: In the year 2050, we'll be able to 3-D print replacement organs. In 2050, we'll be able to reverse the aging of our cells. In 2050, we'll be able to transfer our minds to the cloud, live forever in a virtual world, or inhabit androids to live forever in the physical world. After the year 2050, no one in our generation might ever have to die. I like it when you're optimistic, Lemont. With my luck, I'll get hit by a bus in 2049.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-21 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-21 Pub. Date: 2018-11-21
Image Number: 175065
Caption: Dick, a friend of mine is sitting in a plane that's been stranded on the runway for six hours. We handle all the TSA's advertising. I knew they don't have authority over that, but … Say no more, Ms. Garcia. You want me to call them … and get your friend released from that plane by any means necessary. No, never mind. I'll call them myself. I'll tell them of his extensive travels in Syria.
     
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