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Candorville

Comics about messes and messing.

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Result page:    2  Next  (31 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-26 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-26 Pub. Date: 2019-02-26
Image Number: 176498
Caption: My baby boy asked me what I was eating. So I told him short ribs. He asked What are short ribs? So I said red meat. He asked Why is it red meat when it's brown? So I said Because when you cook red meat, it undergoes a chemical reaction that browns it. It's called the Maillard Reaction. So he said Why does a duck help you cook your meat? My theory is that children are just messing with us. So I said Maillard not Mallard.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-30 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-30 Pub. Date: 2019-01-30
Image Number: 176033
Caption: Yesterday at work, I said Aristotle was a moron. Someone over heard me. They told a co-worker, who told another … By the end of the day, the office was bitterly divided into a pro-Aristotle and anti-Aristotle camps. Aristotle was wrong about everything. He though men were superior to women and masters were superior to slaves. He was wrong about physics, about chemistry, about biology, about psychology, about astronomy, and about social justice. As if our country wasn't divided enough, you had to mess around and start this. I'm not sure I can even respect the pro-Aristotle people anymore.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-21 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-21 Pub. Date: 2019-01-21
Image Number: 175940
Caption: Lotta Democrats runnin' for president, bruh. Kamala Harris my first choice. Cool … Why? Whachoomean why? I mean, which of her ideas do you like best? Which of her policies? I like her 'cause she tough. She don't take no mess. She handle business. That's not a policy. It is where I come from.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-12 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-12 Pub. Date: 2018-09-12
Image Number: 173984
Caption: This country's moved too far to the left. You can tell every time you turn on the tv. There used to be shows like Little House on the Prairie, which taught good, wholesome family values … and Gunsmoke, which taught good, wholesome respect for the sheriff's proper role as judge, jury and executioner ... and The Munsters which taught us good, wholesome disdain for multiculturalism. Wait ... are you just messing with me?
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-05 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-05 Pub. Date: 2017-12-05
Image Number: 165704
Caption: Am I paranoid, doc? I interviewed FCC Chairman Ajit Pai the other day … Dr. Noodle. I asked why he's so bent on killing net neutrality when it's the only thing stopping internet service providers from picking and choosing which websites we see. He said there's no evidence they do that. I said "Yeah, that's because net neutrality rules have forbidden them from doing that." All of a sudden our Skype conversation slowed to a crawl. First we should examine the possibility he was talking in slow motion just to mess with you.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-15 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-15 Pub. Date: 2017-09-15
Image Number: 162601
Caption: Six months, bruh. Six months till they start deporting 800,000 "dreamers" to countries they don't know how to live in. I dug a hole in my closet an' I got canned food. I'm ready. Ready for what? Ain't you never read "Anne Frank's Diary"? What are you asking: Have I read it, or have I never read it? You and your double negatives. Ain't you never heard of the Underground Railroad? Now you're just messing with me.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-05 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-05 Pub. Date: 2017-05-05
Image Number: 157549
Caption: I can't watch Lionel for you tonight, Big L. I got things to do. People to set straight. Thunder to bring. Punks to put in check. They don't know who they messin' with. But they gonna learn tonight. This is why I never go with you to return defective products. You can't tell me Target ain't know they toaster busted.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-27 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-27 Pub. Date: 2017-04-27
Image Number: 157287
Caption: Clyde, if something ever happens to me … Don’t worry, bruh. I'll take you kid an' raise him up for you. I'll teach him all he need to know about life. He'll be the baddest two-year-old on the block. Ain't nobody gonna mess with him. I'll also teach him erethang you woulda taught him: I'll make him watch Star Track an' Doctor Boo an' some @#$% like that. Long as he ain't a snitch, we'll be cool. I was just going to say "call Susan."
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-26 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-26 Pub. Date: 2017-04-26
Image Number: 157286
Caption: Tell me again why you ain't gone to the doctor 'bout your heart, Big L? I lost my health insurance. I've saved all my life for a down payment on a house, so I'll have something to leave to my son. If I go to the hospital, I'll probably lose it all and he'll inherit nothing. But I have life insurance, so if I die, he'll inherit my savings and $2 million. This country be messed up, bruh. I've recorded 18 years' worth of advice and dad-jokes for him.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-11 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-11 Pub. Date: 2017-04-11
Image Number: 156719
Caption: What was in that burrito you made? It's giving me serious heartburn. Whachoomean, dawg? Ain't nothin' in there I don't always put in there. That's a double negative. Are you saying there wasn't anything unusual in there, or are you saying there was? That questions don't make no sense. Now you're just messing with me.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-28 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-28 Pub. Date: 2016-02-28
Image Number: 139304
Caption: There's no such thing as aliens. What?! How can you even think such a thing after all we've found? We've found over 1,000 planets! And we've only begun searching. And there's no telling how many moons those planets have. Any of them could be capable of supporting life. That just sounds silly, Lemont. "Silly"?! Do you have any idea how vast the galaxy is? We can't even see half of it! Astronomers have calculated there are almost nine billion stars with earth-size planets in the habitable zones, Susan! Nine BILLION! ... Just in our galaxy alone! What's "silly" is thinking we're all alo -- ... You're just messing with me, aren't you. It's just so easy.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-05 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-05 Pub. Date: 2015-12-05
Image Number: 135928
Caption: Clyde, five years ago, did you picture yourself being where you are now? Nah, bruh, I pictured myself bein' on that side of the couch. But you done messed all that up, didn't you? Another stereotype bites the dust. I think you know that's not what I meant. You know what? We could switch sides the easy way, or the hard way.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-09 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-09 Pub. Date: 2015-07-09
Image Number: 129284
Caption: Pick another story, son. No! I want beaw! You threw the bear story out the window. It landed in a dumpster, and a mangy dog threw up on it. Do you really want your beloved father to climb into that mess, get bitten by that rabid dog, and possibly get hurt or sick, just to get that book? Yyyaaaaay! That was not an offer.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-06 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-06 Pub. Date: 2015-04-06
Image Number: 125198
Caption: I can't stand ISIS, Big L. They ruined everything. "ISIS" used to be the best woman name there was. 'Member that show "The Secrets of Isis" from the seventies? A hot archeologists find a amulet … that let her turn into a even hotter Egyptian superhero. I ain't NEVER seen a woman that fine since, Big L. Clyde ... I changed my mind. Let's not talk politics. I'ma Youtube the mess outta that when I get home.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-24 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-24 Pub. Date: 2015-01-24
Image Number: 121836
Caption: Thanks for watching Lionel for me so I can work, Clyde. Yeh, he a cool little dude. I watched the whole Gilligan's Island marathon and Lionel didn't bother me once. He quiet. He don't make no mess. In fact it's almost like he wasn't here at all. That's 'cause I haven't dropped him off with you yet. Whatever. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-01-09).
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-30 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-30 Pub. Date: 2014-12-30
Image Number: 120838
Caption: You know China is North Korea's only major ally? Without China propping it up, North Korea's dictatorship would fall tomorrow. If North Korea wants China to keep defending them, then North Korea had better start repaying China the $2 China loans it every day. If you get what I'm saying. I don't get what you sayin'. Hey, could you break me off $2 for some Korean BBQ? I could eat the mess outta some Yangnyeom Tongdak right about now.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-16 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-16 Pub. Date: 2013-10-16
Image Number: 102720
Caption: Man, Clyde, my son's lisp is driving me crazy. Half the time, I have no idea what he's saying. "The Dude Abides." Thug 4 Life. It's unfortunate you can't stand listening to your own kid, bro. What? That's not what I said. That gon' mess up his self-esteem when I'm forced to tell him about it. (A) I'm still not loaning you $2, and (B) extortion is illegal unless you're in congress. So you're refusing to have a "conversation"?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-01-13 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-01-13 Pub. Date: 2013-01-13
Image Number: 91704
Caption: Why do all my relationships end in disaster? Is it me? Or is it bad luck? I refuse to answer on the grounds you may hold it against me. Don’t be silly, Lemont. You're my friend. I want your complete honesty. Well … Ok … If you're sure. The problem, Susan, is you. You're the common denominator. You seem to have it all together bit deep down you're a self-destructive, insecure mess and that's why you're attracted to complete jerks. You want guys who'll treat you as bad as you think you deserve to be treated. I KNEW IT!! See? I don't like being treated badly.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-01-09 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-01-09 Pub. Date: 2013-01-09
Image Number: 91985
Caption: Thanks for watching Lionel for me so I can work, Clyde. Yeh, he a cool little dude. I watched the whole Gilligan's Island marathon and Lionel didn't bother me once. He quiet. He don't make no mess. In fact, it's almost like he wasn't here at all. That's cause I haven't dropped him off with you yet. Whatever.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-12 mess 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-12 Pub. Date: 2012-07-12
Image Number: 51941
Caption: She's crazy! She's been scaring me spitless for YEARS. Have not. Very few SCIENTISTS BELIEVE AIDS MAY or may not HAVE MUTATED INTO AN AIRBORNE VIRUS!!! HOLDing YOUR BREATH is not necessary! You forgave me for that! You can't keep throwing that in my face! And what was all that mess about asteroids blowing up the Earth? I thought we moved past that. (This cartoon was originally published in 2010).
     
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