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Rudy Park

Comics about men.

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161. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-20 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-20 Pub. Date: 2016-09-20
Image Number: 148780
Caption: The economy's been recovering for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy … which means we still have time to get in on the despair action. "Despair action"? We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more "sale" items, debt consolidation loans ... Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy. Ha ha hoo hoo hee -
     
162. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-13 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-13 Pub. Date: 2016-09-13
Image Number: 148486
Caption: You're doing too much, Mort. I don't know what you mean. Optimum scruffiness is a delicate balance. One cannot have both wild hair and a wild mustache. It must be one or the other. What about Einstein? He was behaired all over the place. The only exceptions are for hobos, bikers and the big-brained. I rode my Huffy here, does that count?
     
163. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-05 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-05 Pub. Date: 2016-09-05
Image Number: 148226
Caption: Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally. I've topped myself, minion. It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence; we have to simultaneously tear down the competition. Behold: My masterpiece. "100 percent of those who drink coffee King's coffee will die." Best part is it's technically true.
     
164. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-04 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-04 Pub. Date: 2016-09-04
Image Number: 147195
Caption: Today's man lesson is "The Art of Promising." I'm ready. Part one: Never … promise … anything. Wait … What do you mean? Pretend you're the lady, ask me to promise you something. Ok … (ahem) … Promise me you won't ever even look at another woman? A man would have to be crazy to look at another woman when he could be looking at the most beautiful woman in the world. And I'm not crazy. Notice, if you will, not only is there a complete absence of a promise ... there are also at least four iron-clad loopholes built in. Can you identify them? This is worse than math to me.
     
165. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-03 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-03 Pub. Date: 2016-09-03
Image Number: 147936
Caption: You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! The Olympics. When I was a kid, the Olympics brought us all together. But now, they were a chance for us to look down on Rio, for people to condemn a medalist for not looking patriotic enough, and for a swimmer to blame the locals for his own thuggery. That's nothing. I'm just upset the men's shorts aren't as teensy as they were in yesteryear. Um ... o ... kay ...
     
166. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-02 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-02 Pub. Date: 2016-09-02
Image Number: 147935
Caption: Armstrong, do you remember the first girl you ever kissed? Of course I do, minion. Here, let me call it up … Ah, yes. Little Alice Chang, of 847 Wickerwood Lane. I have her preosculation agreement right here, dated 1-3-1979. Her what? It's like a prenup. It specifies that a kiss does not constitute an official "relationship." My lawyer went to town on her when she later demanded half my Twinkies. Very bad man.
     
167. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-27 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-27 Pub. Date: 2016-08-27
Image Number: 147679
Caption: Mort, I'm writing a case study about two diametrically opposed archetypes of your generation. Archetype number one: A bold, debonaire male … the type that suffered no fools, lived life to the fullest, and pursued romance with tough, smart "dames" who kept him on his toes. And then there's archetype number two: Weak, insecure, afraid of life, and dominated by overbearing romantic partners who brought him to his knees. Ok. I'll participate. Who'd you find for archetype #2? You might want to ask Sadie if she'll let you participate, first.
     
168. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-26 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-26 Pub. Date: 2016-08-26
Image Number: 147678
Caption: You called me, boss? Yes. I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we've found. I want you to stop doing that. At least until I'm done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don't need any competitors driving up the prices. Very bad man. When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing.
     
169. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-21 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-21 Pub. Date: 2016-08-21
Image Number: 146592
Caption: $12 for bottled water?! Haven't you been watching the news? America's aging pipes are leaching chemicals into the water that cause horrific illnesses. The entire city of Flint was poisoned by lead, leading to developmental damage in children and probably causing an outbreak of Legionnaires' disease. All bottled water is tested for lead. But ours is special, it's guaranteed to be 100% free of certain other chemicals too. Our bottled water is also 100% free of adamantium, NTH metal, vibranium, kryptonite and dilithium. No other bottled water on the market makes that claim. Just give me a coffee. Regular or guaranteed aniumanium-free? Very bad man.
     
170. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-15 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-15 Pub. Date: 2016-08-15
Image Number: 147397
Caption: I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy. It did? Oops. "Oops" is right. I'll have to take that our of your pocket. Whatever. That's fine with me. Since it happened in 2001, that comes out to $298 when you factor in compound interest and opportunity cost. Very bad man.
     
171. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-10 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-10 Pub. Date: 2016-08-10
Image Number: 147085
Caption: Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth. Not yet, but a man can dream. This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist? Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts. I'll get a pen. You'll also need a passport and lots of penicillin.
     
172. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-31 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-31 Pub. Date: 2016-07-31
Image Number: 145649
Caption: Rudy, how's that print order coming? What print order? The "House of Java" flags I asked you to have printed. You were serious? Of course. Britain exiting the European Union was just the first domino to fall. Spain might be next , then Finland, then Foreignvania and all the other Anias. And that's just for starters. It's going to spread. My sources tell me the Maldives will be next to split up. Each coral atoll will become a separate and distinct Maldo. "Maldo"? From there the contagion will spread to Australia, which will become a collection of separate city states, some run by man, some run by marsupials. My calculations show it'll eventually spread to North America, where we'll disintegrate into thousands of tiny fiefdoms ruled by whoever is first to plant a flag. Are you sure you didn't forget to carry the "one"?
     
173. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-25 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-25 Pub. Date: 2016-07-25
Image Number: 146482
Caption: Minion, how good are you at constructing big, beautiful walls? What? Tens of millions of people watched last week's Republican convention. I don't follow. My calculations show the convention successfully scared 49.2% of them nearly to death, by making it seem as if we're being overrun by savages. There are now millions of potential customers who'd love to sip coffee surrounded by a 50-foot electrified wall. Very bad man.
     
174. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-17 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-17 Pub. Date: 2016-07-17
Image Number: 145025
Caption: Triple espresso, please. No caffeine for you, Uncle Mort. Doctor's orders. I thought you might say that. That's why I brought along my doctor. He can attest that I'm perfectly healthy and can tolerate vast quantities of caffeine. Mortimer Park is perfectly healthy and can tolerate vast quantities of caffeine. His bones are strong, his blood pressure is dandy, and he's got the pancreas of a man half his age. Give my patient a quadruple espresso, stat!!! You're a great ventriloquist, but your aim is lousy.
     
175. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-14 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-14 Pub. Date: 2016-07-14
Image Number: 145831
Caption: Attention all parents of small toddlers … There's a brand new Youtube channel you'll definitely want to show your kids. It features funny reviews of toys, video games and apps. It stars a handsome, charming man dressed in huge glasses, a big floppy hat, and a bright yellow tuxedo. No self-promotion in my cafe unless I get a 98% cut. I am totally not unaffiliated with this brilliant performer.
     
176. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-12 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-12 Pub. Date: 2016-07-12
Image Number: 145829
Caption: When's the last time you shaved, little buddy? Why do you ask? Because not all men can pull off the "rugged stubble" look. Stubble has to come in evenly, or you look like you've caught mange. I'd hate to be one of those guys. I'm about to hold you down and swipe at your with a straight razor, but it's as a friend.
     
177. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-11 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-11 Pub. Date: 2016-07-11
Image Number: 145828
Caption: Armstrong, why do we have Fourth of July decorations up? That was last week. Exactly. A true patriot loves his country regardless of the date. A true patriot celebrates the founding of our corporatocracy every single day of the year, minion. Some of the decorations are smeared with coffee grounds and banana peels. A true patriot knows that one cafe's dumpster is another cafe's treasure.
     
178. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-10 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-10 Pub. Date: 2016-07-10
Image Number: 144704
Caption: According to Elon Musk, time travel is possible. I can't wait to time-travel. Elon Musk said time travel is possible? Well, not in so many words. He said it's almost a certainty that we're living in a simulation being run by our descendants in the distant future. His reasoning makes sense. In just my lifetime, we went from "Pac-Man" to "The Sims," where Sims live, work, fall in love, have kids ... and in a few decades, the Sims will be artificially intelligent and they'll actually believe they're experiencing all that. If we're artificially intelligent Sims, then anything is possible. What time travel to be possible? Just wait for the Great Programmer to install the "time travel" expansion pack. Want to live forever? Get him to install the "immortality" expansion pack. According to Elon Musk, I'm one expansion pack away from being a billionaire playboy. Nothing doing. the Great Programmer exhausted all his "miracle" expansion packs 2,000 years ago. But he's still got some "delusion" expansions.
     
179. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-07 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-07 Pub. Date: 2016-07-07
Image Number: 145517
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie?" Are America's best days behind us? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time in grade school when the schoolmarm told little Jebediah Thistlewood to pull up his knickers. The next day, Jebediah's pa came to school and said "In my day, a man was free enough to wear his trousers 'round his ankles if he wanted to. This used to be one humdinger of a country." I still have no idea what he was talking about. I don't even remember what I asked you.
     
180. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-05 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-05 Pub. Date: 2016-07-05
Image Number: 145515
Caption: Let me ask you a man-to-man question, Randy, asterisk. Shoot. Let's say you wake up, you look in the mirror, and you notice your first gray hair. Would it be manlier to immediately pluck it out and pretend it never happened, or would it be manlier to tell yourself it's actually blond? Armstrong, avoiding the truth is never manl ... wait ... "asterisk"? (Asterisk) By answering my question you enter into a binding non-disclosure agreement.
     
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