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Candorville

Comics about men.

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161. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-04 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-04 Pub. Date: 2015-10-04
Image Number: 132818
Caption: Clyde, have you seen my vintage 1980s Flash Gordon tank top? Your what? It was one of the last survivors of a more enlightened age … when real men weren't afraid to wear loose-fitting tank tops and bright, colorful booty shorts. I've been saying them all my life, for when that comes back in style. Ok, what gon' happen now is, you gonna back up about five feet ... an' I'm gonna forget this conversation ever happened. Give me back my booty shorts!
     
162. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-27 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-27 Pub. Date: 2015-09-27
Image Number: 132520
Caption: When someone says "Black Lives Matter," I respond by saying "All Lives Matter." Because I don't see color. But if you "don't see color," you can't see that young black men are far more likely to be shot unnecessarily by police than men of any other color. And you can't solve a problem if you can't even see it exists. It felt food to stand up for equality. So I didn't stop there. What do you mean? OWS protester love of red velvet cake. Daily Nut Job. Obama wet bed as child, covered it up. Goodnight Grandpa. I came across a "breast cancer survivor" meeting at the rec center. I poked my head in and shouted "All Cancer is Bad." By the looks on their faces, I could tell some of them realized they'd been totally horrible for acting like their cancer was so much more important than other cancers. Also confesses to having red "Little Red Riding Hood." Exoneration. I came across a funeral this morning, and after the eulogy I reminded the family that all people die, and that it's wrong of them to act like this one was more special than the rest of us. Has aversion to pepper spray. Why?
     
163. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-22 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-22 Pub. Date: 2015-09-22
Image Number: 132813
Caption: Come one, little man, eat your Brussels sprouts for daddy. No! If you DO eat your Brussels sprouts, you'll grow big and strong. No! If you DON'T eat your Brussels sprouts, you'll grow up short and puny. No! So what you're saying is positive appeals fail just as often as negative appeals. No!
     
164. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-27 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-27 Pub. Date: 2015-08-27
Image Number: 131716
Caption: Lemont … have I told you how much I appreciate having you as a friend? Thank you! I mean, some guys try to be all "alpha-male" all the time. Like this guy I'm seeing. Last night, the dude was flexing his massive biceps while he was hugging me. That was a real turnoff. I like that I've known you all my life, and I still have no idea if you have any muscles. Thank you.
     
165. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-25 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-25 Pub. Date: 2015-08-25
Image Number: 131714
Caption: Why we be watchin' a home improvement show, Big L? We both renters. Why'd you turn it to business news? Neither of us got no investments. Why'd you turn it to "Facts of Life" reruns, both of us men, dawg. You want me to turn it to "I owe Big L $2, I'd better pay him back"? Quiet. Tootie 'bout to say something.
     
166. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-24 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-24 Pub. Date: 2015-08-24
Image Number: 131713
Caption: I can't get to sleep, Clyde. Say what, Big L? When we were kids and you slept over, we'd talk about aliens and stuff all night if we couldn't get to sleep. Yeh, but uh … when you grown and you can't sleep, you call a woman, not no 'nother dude. That's kinda ... you know ... You think aliens are ever homophobic? Last thing I wanna hear when I'm in bed is a deep voice.
     
167. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-17 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-17 Pub. Date: 2015-08-17
Image Number: 131274
Caption: Bad cops who kill unarmed black men are starting to get fired, and even indicted for murder. I don't think any of that would be happening if it weren't for the fact that all hell broke loose in Ferguson after Michael Brown was killed. Maybe things are actually changing. Maybe cops will even stop persecuting the good officers who report the bad ones. Wait ... are you being sarcastic? Maybe the academies will start weeding out the ones who overreact.
     
168. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-11 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-11 Pub. Date: 2015-08-11
Image Number: 130934
Caption: Robin Thicke's new girlfriend looks an awful lot like his ex-wife Paula Patton. That's so textbook. Textbook? It's right out of chapter 7 of The Guy's Guide to Breakups by Randy "The Rock" Taylor. Chapter 7's called "You Can't Miss Her if You're Dating Her Clone." I really don't want to talk about Robin Thicke. I'm trying to give you a head's up, Susan. Every man's a little bit Thicke.
     
169. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-03 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-03 Pub. Date: 2015-08-03
Image Number: 130583
Caption: I don't understand why Bernie Sanders isn't polling better among minorities, Clyde. He's our best ally in the race. He's fought against mass incarceration and mandatory minimum sentences for decades. He wants undergraduate education to be free to students, like K-12. He's strong on voting rights ... Yeh, but bruh ... the man name is "Bernie." That's like Bert an' Ernie put together. A muppet don't have no business askin' for my vote. I can't believe your vote counts as much as mine.
     
170. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-28 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-28 Pub. Date: 2015-07-28
Image Number: 130315
Caption: Hey, man … It's me, Lemont. Your roommate from college. Can you believe it's been 18 years? Where'd the time go? How's life? How's everything? Still have that dog? You've joined what? … You've joined ISIS? Oh. Um … That's … Uh … How's that going? That working out? Listen, I've gotta go. I have a thing to get to. No, no, I don't still live in the same place. I'm in Antarctica now.
     
171. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-26 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-26 Pub. Date: 2015-07-26
Image Number: 129550
Caption: I just started reading the book "2312." It starts on Mercury, where we built a city that constantly travels along rails to avoid the cataclysmic fire of the sun. It's hard to remember we're even capable of that sort of thing. We don't even build the world's tallest buildings anymore. We don't build much of anything. We barely even fill potholes. Once upon a time, we thought big. We built bridges. We carved new rivers. We sent men to the moon. But we've stopped thinking big. Did you know Saudi Arabia's building a tower that's almost twice as tall as our tallest building? Saudi Arabia ain't part of "we"? It ... That's not what I ... Oh, shut up.
     
172. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-24 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-24 Pub. Date: 2015-07-24
Image Number: 129960
Caption: Lately I've been starting to question my own sanity, doc. Dr. Noodle. Is the world I see around me real? Is my blog really successful? Did Donald Trump really call me "a naïve and short man" while I interviewed him? Or am I imagining it all? Have I created a "Matrix" for myself? A comforting alternate reality? I say your Trump interview, and he really did call you "a naive and short man". Congrats. But how do I know you really just said that?
     
173. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-19 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-19 Pub. Date: 2015-07-19
Image Number: 129280
Caption: How many fights you think I been in in my life, Big L? I try not to think about it, Clyde. I figure as long as I don’t have statistics about the horrible details of your life, I can pretend you're actually a good person. Denial is a skill I began honing at an early age, when I first saw "Galactica 1980". If I could convince myself that show was good, I could convince myself of anything. No offense. I started a fight exactly ... For the love of god, man, don't ruin our friendship!
     
174. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-07 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-07 Pub. Date: 2015-07-07
Image Number: 129282
Caption: I love you. … I love you. I loooove you. Come on, little man, you can say it: I love you. Can you say "I love you"? Can you thay "cake"? Cake. Cake. Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake.
     
175. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-02 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-02 Pub. Date: 2015-07-02
Image Number: 129039
Caption: It's like the internet is a window into an alternate universe. In our universe, for instance, J.J. Abrams "Star Trek" movies and Zack Snyder's "Man of Steel" earned a lot of money. But on the internet, they were all huge disappointments that nobody went to see. And don't even get me started on the difference between real women and the type you see online. Don't worry, I won't.
     
176. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-01 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-01 Pub. Date: 2015-07-01
Image Number: 129038
Caption: Funny thing: I brought some fries home, put them on my window sill for a minute, and went to the bathroom. When I got back, the window was open and the fries were gone. Say, those fries look awfully familiar. They say if a man go far enough in the world, he eventually run into some 'nother dude who got fries what look just like his own. That's not what they say Clyde. I might consider sharin' some with you when I'm done.
     
177. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-27 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-27 Pub. Date: 2015-06-27
Image Number: 128676
Caption: I've read that by the time I'm an old man, we may be able to upload our consciousness into the cloud. Do you know what this means, Clyde? It means our generation may be the first to become immortal. We'd also become the first post-human generation. "Cloud-o-sapiens" doesn't have the same ring to it, though. Wait ... me dyin' someday anyway is what make it easy to not care 'bout nobody opinion of me. Ain't this a blip.
     
178. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-12 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-12 Pub. Date: 2015-06-12
Image Number: 128071
Caption: You're awfully quiet Lemont. I was just thinking about thinking. We used to think we were the only species capable of abstract thought, not just instincts. Now we know that's not true. Koko the gorilla knows over 1,000 sign language gestures, elephants gather to reminisce at elephant funerals. We only thought we knew what we were thinking about thinking, but now we have to think again. Dios mio.
     
179. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-27 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-27 Pub. Date: 2015-05-27
Image Number: 127502
Caption: Most people don't care about reality. They just create their own realities, whether facts and data back them up or not. I spent half an hour arguing with some nutjob online who insisted that most people hated the "Man of Steel" movie. I sent him a link to the enormous box-office take. He said that proved nothing. I sent him a link showing 74% of viewers like it. He still said most people hated it. Do you have any data that shows "most people" do that? Of course. No.
     
180. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-14 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-14 Pub. Date: 2015-05-14
Image Number: 126619
Caption: You anti-unarmed-man-getting-beaten-or-killed-ists. You always pick the wrong hero for your cause. Yeah, the state's attorney says he shouldn't have been arrested … this time. And he had a long history of being arrested! He's been arrested 15 or so times! That changes everything! Was he convicted 15 or so times? I don't see what that has to do with anything.
     
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